Important> everyone!!

hello, alot of you will not have a clue who i am yet, however i'll slowly change that over time as i've fallen in love with this forum i intend to continue to spend a good portion of my free time here... now this may seem like a pathetic suck up attempt, guys take it as you will. this is coming quite simply from my heart...

just about everyone i've met on this forum (or read posts from) is just so ready to give advice and encouragement at any opportunity, this place is just so full of life, and real people who actually give a fuck.
you see, i'm from a rough part of Sydney, NSW, near penrith, full of westy culture if you will. tough guy crap. everyone here is blinded by that...
now its not such a bad thing however people here all seem to be stuck in this pride where they will not want to be seen as weak and stemming from this comes much turmoil and expulsion of any "difference" or uniqueness.. this place has had me down on my self for several years, to the point where to fit in here i'd taken on these sorts of ideals myself..

even though some of the things i did and said to fit in i never agreed with or really felt were true or warranted within myself, for example ridiculing others with "difference" to maintain position in the "the group" for several years i was like this, thinking i was cool drinking myself to stupor and brokeness every fri/sat night then going to work all week as a labourer only to repeat the experience again the following weekend..

anyway as this continued on i began to realize the fallacy of my actions and the fact that my "friends" were not really friends at all, only rivals in a human game of alpha-male-pride type affairs and they were (most of them not all) totally willing to stab you in the back at any moment for rep points with the rest of "the pride"
i started to see the reality of the situation more and more but chose to ignore it telling myself "what am i thinking, these are my friends, this is how we treat each other" even though i think now i knew subconsciously this was not true at all.

so one day i simply decided that enough was enough, actually a psychedelic trip on LSD blew the blinds wide apart and allowed the sunlight to beam in on me, it made me finally unable to ignore the bullshit life i was living anymore..
so i distanced myself totally from it all.. the only trouble being every friend i'd had was in one way or another involved in this crap, so i basically became a recluse. staying at home all the time with no friends but my books and my Xbox.. i spent much time reading, playing role playing games where i could become immersed into a good reality, where unimaginable goodness can and did triumph, something i had not known in reality.. at the time i didn't realise why i played and was attracted to only these type of games but in retrospect now its obvious..

i lived also by myself so my existance became somewhat lonely, to the point that a few times i ventured back to my old friends to attempt some companionship, however each and everytime this resulted in more dissapointment for me, i'd find that would welcome me with seeming openess and true reminisant friendship only to later be confronted by the same beasts that always plagued the group, within no time things would turn to shit...
and i would be back on my lonesome reclusing at home in boredom but away from the torment. i came to not trust people anymore, i'd always think there was some ulterior motive to their kind behaviour to the point that it became difficult to socialise at all.
anyways sometime further down the line i met the girl i'm with currently who shares all of my veiws of the crowd around here and their strange games.. at first we were just good friends with extras but soon that blossomed into more and now i can't imagine life without her...
anyways she has helped me alot to regain my trust in others and to be able to function socialbly again.. (although i still seldom do other than with her or my workmates) but thats out of the fact that i don't want to ever be in the type of cicrle i used to frequent and even fronted..

anyways the point of my story is that this forum and the genuine people here with their caring, nuturing auras has and continues to help me see the good in the world, and serves to remind me to be humble, care for others in distress, do my absolute best to assist kindly wherever possible to whomever and also to stop to smell the roses for this moment is only to be lived once.......

and note this is coming from a guy who has done time (2 years) in maximum security for triple armed robbery two weeks after his eighteenth birthday... no, i'm not proud of this at all, i'm quite ashamed really i'm simply using myself as an example of whats possible.
i've done horrid things in my time, things i continue to have nightmares of, and deeply wish had never occurred. but the fact is they did.
but to me thats in my past, for sometime now i've held the attitude of goodness and to spread that goodness as it is contagious....
as much as i may sound like a "strung up on the lord type" i'm not at all. i'm not religious i believe in evolutionism. and the bacteria probably originated from outer space.. in my opinion religion is for the weakminded that cannot find a reason to live and be good and all they can be simply from themselves they need to be directed and be part of a group having comfort in their shared "fate"
actually i think cristianity in peticular is simply an ancient form of mind control, devised by some rulers advisory to control the rising, questioning and angry masses ready to rebel against his tyranny.. oh and i attended a private cristian school by the way...
ok strating to ramble there sorry but, at least you know a little of me now..... by the way thanks for reading this...:2thumbsup:
i'd really like to get to know you all more and pick at your brains for all the usefull and cool knowledge you guys contain..

so i think you all (or most of :mickey deserve a big thankyou from the bottom of my heart people thanks for being yourselves and making this a great, welcoming, wonderous and inspiring place

 

i should change the name of my thread to inebriated ramblings

 

Welcome to the hip forums.

I am me.

Your life story resounds with chimes from my own life, apart from the bit about prison and having a current girlfriend who is brilliant.

 

Yeah, maybe It's good to have you on board! Enjoy forums!

 

Oh, McLeod, the maybe bit referred to the op rambling not what u said! Missed my window

 

Sounds like an overdose of reality.

 

quite an analogy stinkfoot. although quite a false one in my opinion. if the kind of attitude and code of honour held by my old "friends" is reality, reality can shove itself up its own ass. :2thumbsup:

 

Actually I see you as the one overdosing on something you had rationalized away during your "groupthink" phase. Epiphanies often involve necessary reprocessing old "wisdom".

You overdosed on something your old "friends" are starving for.

 

I fear you have put us up on a pedestal a little bit... or at least given us too much credit, but hey, don't let me rain on your parade. I just hope you won't be disappointed when you find out this is just another internet forum, lolz. There is good and bad. And really good and really bad.
Although there must be some reason I keep coming back, so maybe there is something to what you've written. *shrug* It is one of the more openminded places on the internets providing you post in the right place and steel your nerves against the haters.

 

only two years for triple armed robbery? bargain... imma go to australia and become a bank robber :mickey:

 

Apply for the position of "Embezzler"... the wardrobe is nicer and prison accommodations more posh.

 

oh fair enough, that makes more sense. yes i do agree here. perhaps my overdose was needed in my own case as i do tend to be a stubborn learner. yet it is what it is i wouldn't change a thing for i wouldn't be the person i am today without these defining events.

 

haha bargain huh? if you say so oz. after all is said and spun, i say any loss of the wick of life is not worth the cash or the damage to the innocents involved. it can take a man his whole life to earn a mil while missing out on all those evenings full of laughter. i know which i prefer.

 

total bargain... armed robbery sentencing starts at 15yrs here (uk).. and the maximum is life imprisonment

how on earth did you wrangle a two year sentence for triple armed robbery?

 

Seriously, you people read all that?

 

with youth, lone unplanned action, stupidity, no priors, no physical harm caused, good manners during the crime itself (goes a long way of course) and a good representative.
and two years was enough to think about every bloody raving party and laugh i was missing don't you worry.. not that prison is hell. its all hype really, the whole thing is generally just fucking boring.
needless to say this is not something i am proud of in the least.. it was overly outgoing of me to post it here. nor do i really wish to speak about it, but i asked for that by putting it there. as i said i would not change what has happened during my time as it defines who i am today. i would not be me without my stupid mistakes.

 

i apologise for the dragged out nature of my post. after re-reading my own post in retrospect it is quite boring, lengthy and most of the detail is left to the imagination. only something i'm capable of under the influence.

 

Glad all that is behind you now and you can move forward with the next phase of your life. I hope you find the path you seek....:-D

 

it just seems like everyone's nice because your post was too long for the assholes to read and attack.

 

- Good Will Hunting perhaps! :sunny: Welcome to the Hip!