Need help coming out already!!

Forums aren't the best place to ask since I actually need to just get out and do it, but oh well the advice is needed.

I'm in my early 20's and still never gotten around to developing my sexual side. Not deformed, demented, or even very secretive but probably just clueless. My friends know, but they are all straight and don't seem to offer much help aside from trying online. Which I definitely will not do on one hand because I want to meet all kinds of people more like me and have the fun in real life. On the other, because I'm short, thin, and young looking I often get preyed upon. In fact I've tried to reach out before, but aside from moving around too frequently, the places I start to get comfortable with quickly become uncomfortable when I start getting too much attention from strange people.

Now I live in a rural area, and the city near by doesn't have much of a gay nightlife to speak of. You pretty much have to find who you want to hang around with (that also is gay) yourself but it feels impossible to just do it myself. I'd hate to drive out over an hour by myself and ending up sitting alone wondering what to do and feeling awkward all the while not particularly interested in the club in the first place (said to be kind of smutty, cruiser type, & with crappy music) or being close enough to any hang out area in that location to actually relax for a stretch of time.

Maybe I can convince a friend to come with me but I don't know. It definitely has been difficult meeting someone I might develop a relationship with and where I'm at it definitely seems like all the homo's migrated a few hours away where it's more liberal. Moving isn't an option either, at least for a few more months.

 

gay social clubs

 

Really, the only solution is to wait till you move to an urban setting where there are more gay guys around.

Its not all black and white, in your current situation, start advertising it and all thats likely to happen is you'll get preyed upon by a whole bunch of 'straight' guys who put on one stupid act in front of everyone else, then try get you to do things when no one else is watching.

Those sleazy cruise type places, everyone labels them 'gay' to protect their sensibilities as to whats really going on, but the majority of those there are married guys not all that fussed how they get it.

Same deal with on line, you'd have to sort through to much bullshit to get to the real thing.

You just want a boyfriend, you have to hunt the real thing, move to the big city, raves, actual dance clubs, gay social clubs - where the gay guys actually are. i.e gatherings where the emphasis isnt actually on sex.

Unfortuantely lessons that cant be learned until after you've 'come out'

 

Ugh! I hate your response because I know you're right.

The city close by is Cleveland and even that isn't very glbt friendly. Though it does seem to have gotten better. There didn't seem to be many gay social clubs around here, though there is a center that I'm going to apply to as a fund raiser (my specialty!) and see if it would be fun, & a good place to make a lot of friends beyond just a boyfriend. I've actually tried some before back in the PNW but those turned out kind of odd. One thing I hated was the activism, which I always see being done horribly in my opinion. Whether gay or whatever it often becomes a big battle of US VS. THEM. WE ARE WEIRD AND WE HATE YOU SO ACCEPT US! Don't know, it just turns me off.

Anyway the waiting again is excruciating even though it makes sense. Frustration usually becomes anger I usually take it all out on myself and say it's just me being too stupid, too incompent, and a virgin too long and all that yada yada that I can't go out and have a normal life. Not so much anymore and I've gotten over a lot of those stereotypical gay guy problems but I really am sick of being lonely.

 

Go get fucked Hodor and I suggest that with the best of intentions. Maybe arrange a visit to a gay friendly city or go visit a gay friend and just be up front with what you want. While it's not the most romantic line and tends to be a bit direct, it might serve you well. A good theraputic fuck might tide you over until you get out of the isolation unit you live in. Good luck and get fucked

 

yeah i think u need to have sex first before you go around telling folks ur gay