I've had it with Suboxone/Subutex!

Big ups man.

I try to put out an image that everything's peachy. Arrogance and pride rule my world. I'd never let family and friends know how bad shit ever got. That's just me though. I cope by running and exercise.

 

You're really lucky you have that support. I really hope things pick up for you in the next few days and you start feeling better. Stay strong you can get through it.

Thom Yorke rules!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBalSWs5ngY"]YouTube - Radiohead - In Rainbows - Reckoner

 

When You Say How Bad "S**t Ever Got", I Assume You Are Refering To The State

You Were In, After Going Through Hell In A Far Away Country.....



Cheers Glen.

 

I would never kill myself consiously, but I definatly developed a nihilistic behavior in my drug and alcohol use for a few years.

 

Hang in there man. Things will definitely get better. You just gotta stick with it & try the best to stay positive.

 

DJ, While I don't know what it feels like to attempt to get over Long term dependancy, sounds like you have a great support system whos only priority is to assist you on getting where you want to go knowing that it could very well increase your and thier quality of life 10x. Wish you the best of luck brother and would really like to hear your periodic updates as you move down this path. Peoples roads to recovery are lined with precious steps of information that could easily be the missing step for someone elses recovery. Thanks for sharing......^5

 

I'm with you buddy. And me and my girl friend just broke up so it's almost impossible to concentrate on a single thing w/o opiates right now. Sick as a fuckin doggggg.

 

Hang in there. When your going thru hell just keep on going. It gets better.

 

Sorry for the long absence. I've really wanted to update, but honestly it got VERY DARK FOR ME for awhile and I couldn't even stand to look at my computer screen. However I'm happy to announce I AM OPIATE FREE!

So today is like Day 19 or 20 or something... I stopped keeping track after awhile, days started getting really low and blurry. After I had posted last I had ran out of benzos shortly after. NOT GOOD. Depression hit. Lethargy hit. I literally couldn't do ANYTHING for a bit except whine complain and cry and lay in my bed. Call it what you will, but I felt like I was going up against Cancer or something.

The good news is I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I had to do a lot of soul searching. Because I chose to do this at home without the help of psycho therapy, etc. I've had to do a lot of soul searching and really look deep inside to find out why and how I let my get myself into this predicament in the first place.

RLS was a huge problem for me once the benzos ran out. Insomnia was born from the RLS, which made things even harder to cope with. Weird diarrhea also became very unpleasant. The skin crawling, or as I like to call the 'creepy crawlies' lasted for about 14-15 days. 3 Days ago I woke up with energy and was able to go about a normal day for just a few hours before I completely crashed and became completely devoid of energy.

But these past couple of days and especially yesterday was amazing. I've been emerging from my house, slowly exercising, mingling with neighbors, going to the beach again (Although now I'm suffering from a horrible sunburn).

Things that have really helped me through this:
-Benzos (I used Xanax first, ran out for many days, and then copped a little valium)
-Benadryl
-Immodium
-Marijuana
-Great support system (Lots of visits from friends and the best fiance EVER)
-Ibuprofen

This WAS NOT EASY and I know I still have a long way to go to ensure a life that is opiate free. BUT IT CAN BE DONE! I urge any of you that are thinking about quitting or feel trapped by these awful GOVERNMENT ISSUED DRUGS to JUST DO IT!!!!

I've been writing music again, slowly but surely. Planning on going out to some Festivals and reconnecting with people and attempting some very 'spiritual' experiences.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and support!!! <3

 

you just gotta keep telling yourself that it is too easy to get high, u might feel like shit right now, but just stay clean for another week and you wont be thinking about it as much. when i was trying to stay off pills i just kept telling myself, im hurting right now, but if i go get high im going to feel good for a day then im going to be hurting even more when it wares off. Getting high on opiates is to easy and too cheap to dull the pains of the realworld. you gotta want it for yourself man, god speed