Alright, time to write my very first trip report. Tried MDMA for the first time, maybe about a month ago, with my boyfriend, who's done it before. We dropped in the late-morning so we'd have all day to enjoy it. I was definitely nervous about doing it. We stayed in his room most of the time. I cant remember exactly how much we did, but I think it might have been around 30mg. (I find with MDMA my short term memory has, unfortunetly, been affected a little bit in terms of that particular day). Took about 15 minutes before I really started to feel it. We lied down on his bed and just talked about how we were feeling at that moment. It felt very lucid, very clear-headed (unlike pot, which was the only other drug I had contact with previously). A warm feeling took over me, lying in the arms of this amazing man that I'd come to love and built a relationship with, and almost effortly, tears started rolling down my cheeks. It wasnt like "regular" crying where your eyes get squinty and crying feels like an physical release of emotions. This crying was so different, like a purely emotional release. I couldn't understand why I was crying in the first place! I think I kept apologizing for it, but my boyfriend was wonderful, just telling to just go with whatever I was feeling. He also told me not to try to understand the "why" behind the crying. If I needed to cry, just cry! I felt so happy and safe and comfortable in that moment. We talked about our lives, our relationship, and probably some other stuff I cant recall at the moment. I wanted to make love to him, and we did. Nothing animalistic or kinky or rough, but romantic, loving, soft yet exhilarating sex. And I felt to close to him; physically, intimately, emotionally, mentally...in every way possible. The sensations my body created, as well as the ones he created in me, were almost spiritual. After finishing, we just lay there, bodies entwined, legs and arms entangled, so that you wouldnt know where one of us ended and the other began. And then we drifted off to sleep. I dont know if we were still in the time frame of the drug being active in our systems when we woke up, but I still felt amazing. Energized, yet relaxed. We eventually went out for a nice walk and finished off the day with a lovely bub of pot Then went back to his house, had a nice meal, and enjoyed another romp between the sheets. It was definitely an amazing experience. I know tend to use words like "wonderful" and "amazing", but its because there really arent any adequate words in the english language to describe these experiences. All this being said, I dont know if I would ever do MDMA again. Why? Because of the backlash I got. Some people report feeling "bad" the next day; they have a bad day a couple days after doing MDMA. My "bad day" lasted an entire week! I was really fucked up. I felt depressed, and I didnt want to see my boyfriend, which freaked me out since that was the first time I had ever felt that way after being with him for over 6 months! Not once before had I ever been like "honey, I just need a girl's night", yet all of a sudden I was questioning my feelings for him. But I also knew it was because of the MDMA, and that my boyfriend had forewarned me that I may have a bad day or too, so it would pass eventually. Overall though, MDMA, for me, is not worth doing again if I get the same aftermath of bad feelings. Currently Im looking forward to doing other psychedelics with my boyfriend. We're hoping to do LSD on April 19th - Bicycle Day! I really want to write a trip report about this afterwards I hope this trip report is found to be interesting by those who read it, and I hope to share more trip reports in the future. There is a lot more I could say, especially about my past, that affects my trips, but I'm not ready to bear all...just yet - maybe next time! Peace, Volupta xoxo
That sounds like just about the perfect first encounter with molly I wish she was more gentle on the tail end, or I would enjoy her so much more. Like you I suffer from an, at best, pretty awful few days of low serotonin, irritability, depression, feeling hollow/empty/used up, etc. The first few times it happened to me I was actually quite depressed afterwards, it took me a few exposures to get a handle on the fact that it was just a chemical lull in my brain, and not anything to freak out about (getting anxious over your anxiety, depressed over your depression etc). Glad you got to experience this incredible, heart and mind opening molecule. Amazing how precisely it targets the emotional centers of the mind and leaves the rest of the mental realm pretty much undisturbed. It really just acts as an "open valve" for emotions to flow, unimpeded by fears of letting those emotions flow. A good day or night with MDMA can be as eye opening as with LSD, though in different realms. I find the experience is captured just *perfectly* by this blurb in PIHKAL: Can't wait to hear what you think of lucy! She is molly's big, big, big sister :love:
Also since it was your first time doing it your brain wasn't prepared for the high, let alone the come down! So its not surprising that it lasted a whole week. If you ever do it more though you'll most likely find the come downs won't be as bad. Additionally from doing mdma more you learn how to deal with the comedown better too. First time experiences aren't ever exactly good representations of what a 'normal' drug experience will be for a person so I wouldn't necessarily write it off yet. At the same time though certain people's personalities or metabolisms aren't suited for mdma and the comedowns can be harsher but in your case their would be no way to know for sure unless you did it a bunch more. Also Happy Bicycle Day Tripping! :2thumbsup:
Sounds like a good night but 30 mgs is about a threshold dose for MDMA, So that would be like the equivalent of taking a single light hit of weed and saying youre stoned. Some people are more sensitive to MDMA but I usually dose 200 mgs for my friends and I, and I've yet to encounter any sort of problems thus far. I think 200 mgs is a better dose to get full range effects, over 100 mgs at least and if you are already having a crash off that little, might as well go all out if you do it again.
have you gotten "acid tears" yet? this past weekend my brother and i dosed, and somehow mentioned our deceased uncle. we both started tearing up, and i just let mine flow. my wife who wasn't tripping (and after we shook it off) jokingly said "well i guess it's not an acid trip until someone cries" i seem to do so a lot and you described it perfectly. a purely emotional release, not like normal crying which is physical and makes me feel ill. also curious if you guys have tried sex on 2cb yet? you mentioned that in your LSD trip report
