Breakups.. They don't get any easier do they?

Just venting here.

Me and my girl have been having a rough time lately (actually, not just lately, it's been going on for a while). We both got to a point where we were boiling and pretty much arguing most of the time. Yesterday, we decided to both take some time to figure some shit out. We don't get along and we can't seem to find a solution.

I've been through this a 2-3 times before, I know the drill, but i still feel like a total facking piece of garbage.

This BLOWS! This is just scary and shitty. Not knowing what's gonna happen, are we going to want the same thing in the end? Is she gonna meet someone else? Am I gonna find someone else?

Consciously, I know everything will turn out fine eventually, but my heart still feels like someone took a dump no it.

:/

 

makes the perfect match just that much more rewarding and treasured.
live learn love
condolences

 

How long have you two been together?

 

2 years

 

yeah break ups suck
i hope you both make the right choices.

hope you're feeling better soon!!!

if its over for good, it just wasnt meant to be!

 

no man, unfortuntately they don't get any easier, BUT this is true

After all the heart breaks and imperfect relationships, when the right one does come around it will be SUCH a breath of fresh air. It will be worth it in the end, like you said.

While the feeling the heart gets during break ups is terrible and unbearable, with time and new experiences it goes away. I know it's hard to give up on something that you have worked so hard for (a 2 yr relationship) but with time and new experiences you will see the light.

Good Luck to you both

Remember the light will shine in your backdoor (again) someday

good luck my friend. The heart may weep for a good while, but it will dance the dance of love again one day.

 

Ugh. I guess we'll see what happens.

 

yeah, they always suck on some level.

it sounds like you are at the frustrating near the end of a relationship where you are realizing there are some things that can't be fixed, and it will never be what you had hoped it would be.

hang in there dude.

 

The thing about break ups thats really easy to forget at the beginning of one is that you're breaking up because you aren't happy. One day not too far in the future something will happen that will make you happy; whether its spending quality time with some good friends that you didn't see as much while in the relationship, or making eyes at someone at the opposite sex and getting a smile in return. There are always little things like that that will help aid you back to the land of the living single and one day you may even feel only relief that the relationship ended.

 

just split up with my girlfriend of over 2 years, she was sneaking around with another guy... pretty crappy... I absolutely hate breakups. I hope I find someone who makes me forget about her...

 

The hardest part about relationships is growing together rather than apart. Sometimes, break ups can be a good thing, though. You've been together for a few years and now you can focus on yourself and do some things you've wanted to do for you. Someday, you may be thankful for this break up. I went through the same thing when I ended my 2 year engagement. I was very depressed for about 8 months. One day, I woke up and felt relieved to be alone and be able to have some fun in life. That year I was single was the best year of my life.

 

We are never upset for a fact, only the interpretation of a fact.

 

If your girlfriend starts fucking a friend of yours behind your back, that can be an upsetting fact.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you man. However, in my experience, finding someone who will make you forget about her is not the way to go. You must grieve her first, because if you don't you will be carrying that baggage onto the next person, and that's not fair to her (or to you).

If me and her decide to follow through with the break up, am I going to practice what I am preaching here? I possibly wont, but it's just something to keep in mind.

 

That you would be upset comes from the interpretation of that fact. How does that fact figure in to your model of good. I have no relationships with possession any longer.

 

That's all fine and dandy dope, and you know that I have respect for you, but in the real world, people haven't reach that constant point of ego death and completely subjective thinking.

If that was the case, we would all be living gods. The theory behind what you are saying is correct, but in reality, I'm feeling like shit, no matter how much I ''understsand'' the true nature of my emotions and how they are related to my ego. And I'm sure weepingwillow is as well...

 

I understand that. The minterpretation was that one possessed the girlfriend at one point, when really one can't possess another human being.

But we are emotional beings, one can't suppress feelings, even when a misinterpretation has taken place. If anything the realisation that we never had something when we thought we had it the whole time is even more upsetting.

The truth can hurt.

 

Our feelings arise from our current narrative. Our grief subsides when we have absorbed the fact, and have stopped trying to turn it into something else.

 

Actually you have what you have when you have it. The difference between now and then, is the level of regard. Your love was indeed true and still is. we have just found something that we thought was more important at this time.

 

I know how you feel and there is a why you feel it. I am not at all a stranger to deprivation and after visiting it time after time, the weight of it became unbearable and it was then that it occurred to me, that what I was looking for could not be found in the place where I was looking. The difference between you and I is you believe there is some substance outside yourself that represents fulfillment to you. You may not believe theoretically but you are not fundamentally convinced. It is the romantic ideal that substitutes for love. If the ideal is blemished then the person no longer seems the same love you had met in the beginning.

We may follow a prescription for a while and then forget to keep up with our medicine because we had not made the final choice, that to ride a noble steed carries us to satisfaction. We had chosen because it was immediately expedient and when conditions changed, another solution seemed more viable. It is only when we make the final choice, when we choose it because it is true, that there is no more going in and out, or from relationship to relationship. When you have determined that you have a single full time relationship with all of life, then all of your relationships will be whole and enduring.