This had me cryin'.. #7 was especially funny for me since that was the topic of discussion between friends one night. How To Drive In Jersey Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ: A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including knowing where you are going. For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise. For those who haven't travelled there before; Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid....... Be Very Afraid! 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is Trent-in. 2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. 3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy.." (Just ask the former Governor of NJ) 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. In Ocean County, seniors have the right of way. 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. 6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot. 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items. 9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting. 10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated." 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. 12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning. ~SAFE DRIVING~
Well, its main focus is on the Parkway & Turnpike so if you drive that daily, you get the humor.. I think it's hilarous! Nope, it's not like that in most places in Jersey. My area has pretty mellow drivers. You do get the occasional zigzagger zippin' in & out, but for the most part, the cops have us all behaving
Seasparkle.... this is hilarious and although much of it is meant as humor, it's actually true..!!!! I'm fortunate to be up north, where I'm away from that craziness....where in Jersey are you?
yeah I'm in Mass with all of the Masshole drivers...we hate seeing you Jersians on our highways! :tongue:
LOL, I was driving in jersey this summer and after a while I just started honkin' cause I felt I would fit i better
Hey....drivers in The People's Republic of Massachusetts are as bad as Joisey drivers....lolll :auto:
Pretty sure there has been construction at exit 8 on 287 for at least a year now. Absolutely no sign of progress either.
I was on the turnpike yesterday and hit a little bit of traffic on the way up. Traffic was moving around 60-65 at that point. The center lane was moving faster than the left for quite a while. The cause? This little old lady driving slow in the left lane. Jesus fucking christ. Anyway, the worst drivers here are New Yorkers.
