Do you think....

that it's bad to tell your boyfriend what your parents really think of him (if it's not so great)?

 

Depends on the boyfriend.

 

I wouldn't say anything to him . Unless they dislike him so much it's going to be a real problem for them to be around him . Then yeah okay , if not why bring it up ? They are not dating him so don't have to like him . You're 19 and can choose for yourself . To bring it up needlessly will only create more tension and problems on his end , when he is around them . No , I would say nothing .

 

Probably not the best idea to volunteer the info... but if asked it's best to not be dishonest- though you'd need to pick your words very carefully.

 

Yeah, I'd let it be unless he asks. Who knows, your parents may warm up to him eventually...no point in causing unnecessary tension.

 

my parent hates my wife. thats why she dont know im married..

 

my boyfriend knows my brother doesn't think very highly of him...but I don't think I'd tell him if my mom didn't like him...I typically don't offer that info

 

depends on a lot of things. it could turn him on, or he could break up with you. or anything in between.

 

unless asked I would not tell him. No need to bring it up unless you need to.

 

If you tell someone something, then it would be fair to say that a response/reaction is/would be required.
For now, I would suggest you consider, what would be the benefit in doing so(?) for the consequences of such could be most unfavourable
eace:

 

Well my mother is pretty nosy and is always chiming in on my phone conversations with stupid comments, she says she doesn't dislike him but it seems like she does. Anyway, he asks if she totally hates him or something but it's hard to put it in words what she thinks of him because she doesn't admit to really thinking anything of him because she's so fucking vague. I just tell him she doesn't hate him, she just isn't really a people person, which is true. I wanted to know what everyone else thought.

Wow, nice.

 

Hmm, if she's being vague, it's hard to say... If she's clear about it, and says she clearly doesn't like him... Then it all depends on how deeply you and your boyfriend connect and how solid your relationship is. If you strongly believe telling him won't ruin the relationship, then I'd tell him if I were you. I'd like to have a good understanding of where I stand as far as how my partner's parents' think of me. And it's important for me to know WHY they dislike me too, because knowing the reason(s) might be able to help me improve the situation.

BUT, if you're not sure, then I wouldn't really dwell on it if I were you.

 

I'm not dwelling. I know the relationship isn't at jeopardy. Sometimes she speaks loudly enough he can hear so luckily I haven't had to say that she was making comments that he might not like. He knows she's just cynical, she doesn't really trust any guy for me. Says she is looking out for me but she doesn't dislike him..He thinks she doesn't like him so whenever he's here he tries to help with household stuff, anything electronic or computer related, or anything involving heavy lifting to hope she would soften up to him.

I really can't tell him no she doesn't or yes she does like you. It's hard to tell, but it doesn't really affect the way we are together. He loves me, and even if she despised him and he knew it, he would never leave me for that. But I can understand it might be tense and awkward. But my mother is awkward herself so..lol She's not marrying him, so it really doesn't matter.

 

Haha, I see. Well, has she always been this way with your past boyfriends, too?

 

Oh definitely. I knew she was going to be annoying and patronizing so my last boyfriend (not my first boyfriend lol) is the first time I ever even told her the truth about having a boyfriend. She didn't approve of anything, and she ended up being right but this guy is different and I hate how she thinks every guy is going to fuck me over. She's grown bitter over her own divorce and tells me the story at least once every few months about how she gave up her life and took a chance on a guy and had two kids (my sister and i) with a scumbag piece of shit. Oy.

 

If the guy is trying to help out when he's there, he must have something going for himself. It proves he cares about you and will do things for your mom to help the relationship. I don't think it pays to worry about it--just carry on. If he's a good guy,she'll see it eventually. If not--uh-oh--mom's right again.

 

He cares about me immensely. I don't really care if she likes him, but I know it matters to him a little, of course it won't stop him from marrying me or anything though.

And she is not right. She's just judgmental, and unfortunately a lot of people happen to be scoundrels. But not this guy

But I made this thread so everyone would talk about their significant others and their relationships with their parents. So discuss, people

 

Yeah, parents can be frustrating sometimes. My mother has a very specific idea of what kind of girl is "good" for me. I'm talking the physique, facial features, family background, medical background, and so on so forth. At least she's no longer specific about ethnicity issues as much as she was when I was a kid. At the same time, she also says she'd never disapprove of anyone I picked. I point out all the picky things she's told me throughout my life, and she's like, "well, I trust you." smh... I never even told her about my last ex. She's a big-time pothead with a big tattoo on her arm and with a history with various other drugs in the past...and that's just the tip of a big iceberg. xD

 

agreed.

Personally, I tell my boyfriend everything. Good or bad. We were close friends for a long time before we actually got together so I know what I can tell him and can't. Nothing small like that is going to rip us apart.

We're actually having problems with his mother lately. I think our getting together was a shock to her. She loved me til she found out I love him.

 

Why tell him? He knows already!