saying goodbye to opie!!!

he filled his scripts^^^ lets just see if he takes them!! aha

I couldn't do it if i were you man...im glad i have to buy mine off the streets.
And i never want to go back to doing that shit again!

 

Yeah 360 roxis sitting right in front of you face has got to be rough. If I wasn't on suboxone and had those in front of me it would be all over.

 

having a party with opiates the day before you go to a suboxone program is stupid. be the REAL man and just stop now. believe me it will do you good. throwing away your shit will also make you feel good believe it or not.

 

Agree completely. I flushed 40 30mg roxies the day i decided to quit. Unfortunately, due to a kidney stone, I am no longer clean. But that doesnt mean I cant get back after i pass this stone. Fuck, it hurts.......

 

Hey everybody thanks for the encouraging words from many. I haven't been on here in a while, sorry to take so long to let you all know how I've been doing. I'm a right at a month clean and free from the handcuffs of addiction, thank God! No alcohol,marijuana no nothing. Its been tough I'm not gonna lie but I feel like I've made it over the hump. Not at all saying I still want have hurdles to face but atleast I'm getting over the sickly feelings of WD's. I'm so proud of myself at times I didn't think I'd ever get to where I am at. I attend alot of NA meetings and I talk with a drug counsellor once a week. All this helps me stay focused of what I'm doing. It's helping me learn to live without drugs. I've gotten all the "bad" people that I used with or got my stash from out of my life. Attending NA has also helped me meet new friends something that I desperately needed after throwing away slot if friendships. I hope anybody out their that have had drugs cause problems in their life like they did to me can get freedom from it 1 day. Bottle your in my prayers bro, I wish nothing but the best for you in your fight.
Thank you again to everybody for the encouragement. You don't no how good it felt to read all this today, for that I am grateful!


Joe

 

Joe,
its great to have you bck, and I think i can speak for most of us here, if its too hard to come here on a daily basis, seeing the posts and threads concerning use, then you come when u can. Best of luck in your fight and I will be here to help u out as well.

 

Hey Joe! Awesome to hear that you are doing so well! I am 13 days clean and haven't felt better in my life.

Keep it up!!!

 

Hey its good to have to you back man...im glad your doing well. I know its hard coming on here because it triggers old memories and what not. but ive noticed it gets easier overtime as you see alot of people on here either want to get clean or are getting clean which is really cool too see and some people on here can use iwthout abuse which i envy. But i am four months clean and some odd days.

and it was a nice reminder from the previous post on how good it felt to first get clean and i hope i just keep that mindset because sometimes the longer clean time you start to wander why you quit and then you have to remind yourself of how awful the lifestyle really is.

Thankyou everyone on here....i love you opiate people

 

Hello there, a pleasure to meet you guys. After having read through this thread I felt compelled to register.
I've been an opiate addict for over 7 years now, it gradually progressed from taking 3-6 Lortabs a month to taking 120-200 mg of oxycodone or morphine everyday. I had my first episode of withdrawals 3-4 years ago and I decided it wasn't worth it. I decided to quit. I went through a process of quitting, using, quitting, using until I ended up quiting completely about 2 years ago.
Last year I was in a near fatal car accident and I ended up breaking every bone on the right side of my body and having fractured vertabrae in my spine.
I was in an ICU for a month in a morphine induced haze and when I finally got out of there I was dependant on opiates again. They gave me a steady script for roxy's and I've been in that same position I once was in years ago now (quitting, relapse, quitting, relapse). The pain I go through on a daily basis from the accident was immence, but nothing like the pain I go through during withdrawals.

Anywho, I wish you all the best of luck in your sobriety. This thread nearly brought a tear to my eye and has really inspired me, I'm going to quit at the end of this week! I know what lies ahead for me, having been through this so many times and I have high hopes this time.

I was hoping it would be alright to post here soon and let you know how it's going (even though you don't know me, I'm certain you know what I'm going through!). Take care guys, I believe in you and myself for that matter!

 

Welcome EggoKiller. Hope to hear from you again. I, like you and so many on this forum struggle daily with opiates. To lift each other up is a good thing.

 

If you're taking the right dosage of methadone you should have something like 250ug/ml of blood I think... Something like that. At that point your physical and mental withdrawal goes away.

I remember seeing it on the internet when I started methadone, and it was saying most people never get to that point since the doc never orders more blood work.

 

Its awesome to see that a few of us on here, who share their dependance and addiction fight on a daily basis are drawing others into the forum because they to have the same daily battle and also wish to share their experiences. It is those that do this, help others each and every day just because no two peoples experience is the same, and therfore add another piece to the puzzle of opiate adiction.

On my own issues, I went to the urologist today and found out I still havent passed the stone. So I continue to pound the water in hopes that it will pass at some point. He gave me two weeks to pass and If not, he will go in and blast it into smaller pieces to pass easier. When its gone, I will go through wahtever level of withdrawal i will be at and continue to try and get clean for good. I still feel that cold turkey can work. But surrounding myself with all those pills was probably not a good idea and they will have to go when this is done. Did I happen to mention that Kidney Stones hurt like a bitch? Having been clen for a month and a hlaf, its amazing to see how little an amount is taking this pain away. Im averaging approx 1 1/2 pills per day of the 30s. Im paying particular attention to not increasing that and hopefully it will be done in two weeks. Will keep yall posted on the progress. Yall keep focused on where you want to get to, Itll happen!

 

Make sure you measure your doses correctly!


When I was doing oxy, I started out eating it until I discovered the joy of insufflation. I was doing 20mg when I first started insufflating, and since 80s were the only thing around, we'd have to cut them into smaller pieces.

Well one time, I was so anxious to get it into my face that I didn't notice I forgot to break the 80 into quarters and ended up doing half of one instead of a quarter. I figured out 2 minutes later when I went to put the rest in my pocket for storage and was like "oh damn I think I might OD"... LOL... From that point on I couldn't do less than 40mg because I wouldn't get a buzz...

Then 3 months later I forgot to break the pill in half and just smashed the whole thing and snorted it and was like "fuuuuuck"... then I had an 80mg tolerance.

My addiction progressed so quickly mainly because I was impatient, ignorant, and stupid as fuck when it came to dosing. It's probably also the reason I got so addicted, because if I didn't make that mistake I could have probably been on 20mg for 3 years instead of starting at 20mg and ending at 120mg after 3 years.

 

I have read alot of positivity on here! Thank you to all for the encouragement that I have received. I'm going to start posting more now that I'm starting to feel it want bother me to read about drugs. I've been so glad to get free of all the drugs and I am starting to feel as I'm getting my body back probably 85% or so now. It sucked having to work and play with my kids in the midst of WD's, but I survived it and am feeling much better these days. 1 of the reasons I'm going to post more is because a while back I read about someone getting clean and it was the start of me cleaning up. Hopefully someone else can find that encouragement in these posts. I know alot of people say NA isn't for them (and I understand) but it has put my head in such a great place. It reminds me everyday why I don't want to use again. If you've never tried it I highly suggest it. You got to give it a chance though, 1-2 meetings is not enough to figure out what it's all about. Give it a few weeks and then make your mind up. I don't want to feel A's I'm pushing it on anybody, this is what is working for me and as long as it's working I will continue to do it!

Again thank you everybody!

Joe

 

Doesn't NA basically tell you that you are powerless over your addiction and that the only way to overcome it is to believe in God and become religious?

 

Pillow it does say. I haven't been to church in 10 years, regulaty. I do believe in a higher power however. It helps alot of people. Theirs probably more clean addicts their then anywhere else I can think of. It's helping me so I'm going with it. Its still not easy and I don't no if it ever will be for me. It just helps me to hear success stories and what not. I'm not trying to push it on anybody, thus is just what is helping me.

 

I wasn't kidding when I said I was quitting last week. Today is officially day 7! Boy has it been brutal... I was going to post an update, but I was understandably in too much agony.

Day 1: I didn't eat a damn thing, not only did I have no appetite, but I likely would have thrown up anything entering my stomach. I was getting bad cold sweats and had absolutely no energy, I laid in bed all day. I didn't sleep at all that night, and the diahrrea... well that speaks for itself...

Day 2: Not much difference, except I was angery as hell. I felt like finding an old lady to punch and take her pills even if they were lortab 5's... really sad I know. I slept 30 minutes tops that night.

Day 3: Still brutal, no significant decrease in symptoms. I managed to eat some chicken noodle soup and not puke it all over the place. I took a bath and ended up falling asleep in there for 3 hours! When I woke up the water was frigid, and I was shivering like crazy, probably damn near hypothermic, but at least I got a little sleep.

Day 4: A bit better, was able to actually get out of bed and walk around for a while, ate quite a bit, and slept 3-4 hours that night. However, I still wanted to punch something, lol.

Day 5: Felt quite a bit better, more energy, ate a fair amount, slept decently. Only slightly wanted to punch something.

Day 6: Actually did alright yesterday, once again ate pretty well, slept decent.

Day 7 (Today): I feel pretty good, nowhere near 100% though. My energy levels are getting back up there, went for a jog this morning in the lovely thick pollution. I'm trying to eat as much as I can as I think I lost quite a bit of weight. I had a doc's appointment today, went in, told him my situation. I told him I'm done with pills (That gave me the best feeling inside, I felt like the Heavyweight Champion of the World for saying it). He was shocked, but wished me luck.

Well, it's been a brutal process, but well worth it. I had some help though. I took clonidine, immodium AD, and lorazepam (IMO the best possible combination besides suboxone). Tonight will be my last night taking lorazepam, as the last thing I need is to become addicted to those.

Sorry about this being so long, but I feel like I needed to mention why I am quitting just for personal sake and to get something off my chest. About 4 weeks ago, me and two friends went on one of those lovely, do-as-much-as-you-can binges. We sniffed too many MS contins and Roxis to count. The next day me and one of my friends got sick, turns out that other friend was sick that day. I was fine after a few days, my best friend however ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and on a freaking respirator and nearly died. I went in and saw him and it almost brought me to tears even though I'm a grown man. He said he was going to quit, and I promised him I would too, and be there with him the whole way. And so I have. God damn, I'm nearly crying right now just thinking about losing anyone else so close to me again (Ive lost two friends in the last two years, one to a heroin addiction, one to an OC addiction). I'm going to do this, no matter how hard it will be.

Thanks for your guys' support, I appreciate it immensely. I will continue to come here and give my support to anyone who wants it, and hopefully get more support from you guys. Once again, I wish you all the best and hope we can all be the drug-free success stories we know we can all be!

 

Eggo,
Thanks for the update and I feel the need to say that everyone who comes face to face with what Ill refer to as THEIR ROCK BOTTOM BELL, finds out that this is as real as it gets. What I mean by THIER ROCK BOTTOM BELL is this. You know how you have, shit how we all have made the statement, ok I'm gonna quit. You stop using, but it never lasts. You go throught the Quit, Withdraw use again Circle. Some have done this more than others. Then out of nowhere, a situation arises where your Rock-Bottom Bell gets rung. Its different for everyone, meaning my rock bottom is completely different than yours. Fortuantely, You are the only one who can hear your Bell. When it rings, your thought processes are as clear as they have ever been. How you think about quitting has never been so clear before. That moment is when you actually decide to quit FOR YOU, not for someone else. It is one reason and one reason only to quit. That reason, while it looks different for everybody, really is exactly like everyone elses in the fact that you arrived at some place you never, ever want to visit again. You sound ike you arrived there with your buddy and of course, you never want to go there again. This is your best chance for success. You've been through the hard physical part, all thats left is the Mental part. There are no easy ways to overcome the mental withdrawals. It takes time, how much, for you, who knows.
I wish you the best of luck. There are several of us, in various stages of quitting. Some of us have relasped and some are still growing strong. One thing we all have in coomon is we all have some good suppport here so if you find yourself needing to vent, talk or whatever, come on back here and we will hear you out. Go get em Bro!

 

Bottlefed said a mouthful - and it's all true. Hope you've reached your bottom. I've been dry for 2 weeks - but I already gotten panicky a couple of times. I hope my time is at hand.
Congrats and good luck man. I wish we all had a place to go and share without all the superfluous all around us here on HF - that would be nice.
Hang in there man.

 

Eggo,
It gets better man. Your at day 7-8 now so your about over the hump. Your taking the right meds so it can be as easy as possible. You actually sound like your doing pretty good with all things considered. You went jogging and I find that remarkable! If you can continue exercising if you can it'll get you better faster. Start taking some vitamins also, start healing that body. I still don't sleep like I want but I feel great and in not that much far ahead of you so just no it gets better soon.

Congrates and keep up the good job bro.