Hi everyone, sorry if this turns out long but bear with me if you can................ My H and I got married in secret when I was 22 and he was 21-no one knows and its almost 6 years later! we have a child who is 5 in a few months. I found out in 2009 that my H started an affair with a 17 yr old in 2008. In my home, in my bed. I was distraught and feel like only recently-I am beginning to recover, although I still cry about it now and then. I ended up on antidepressants and saw 3 counsellors because of the pain of it. I was "harassed" by the little whore in a bad way -which I still need to get her back for. Anyway present day-and me and H try again with the marriage, it went ok for a while but old habits crept back in, and I felt unappreciated by him, so he has moved out to his mums. My friend took me to a dance class her friend started and met the teachers friend who I was attracted to for some reason, and I get the feeling he is attracted to me! anyway decided to go back the next week (obviously!) and the friend is taking the beginners class-later found out that he called my friend TWICE to see if I was coming with her! Anyway, we went out to an event a little while ago-just the two of us because my friend didnt show up, and we had a great time! He ended up kissing me-just pecks on the lips a couple of times, but that could have been because he was drunk, because there has been no mention of it since. We also went out to a club not too long ago-just the two of us-and yet again had a great time! I told my H about the kiss about a week after it happened and he was like "did I kiss him back?" and "did I want him to kiss me?" I said I dont know and he was like "well its nothing to worry about then" What the hell?! Is that a normal reaction to have as a 26 year old guy?! He said it so calmly and went to sleep! I feel like I dont mean anything to him, im not really worth holding onto. His actions alone tell me this anyway But at the same time-at this moment in time, I feel good, I feel happy! Because I have hobbies I love now and im meeting new people all the time! and im excited about life again-I just thought it would be with him. And now this guy.......I have such a big crush on him, I feel giddy, butterflies and everything-and I like it! I just want to be friends though-as much as I am very very attracted to him. I will never trust a guy again-and he is VERY popular with the ladies. I just enjoy him The problem im having though is this-should I avoid him while im still married? as the more i spend time with him, the more I like being around him. Even when im with my H, I find that im thinking about this guy with a grin on my face. I dont want to be that person, I dont want to end up like my H. What do you guys think, he likes me? or not? would you steer clear for the time being???? Thanks
I would steer clear of YOU, but I don't know who you should steer clear of. You seem suprised that people who you have relationships in secret with just might have.... secret relationships.
OK, so your husband has moved back out because you are noticing he hasn't changed but you are still together? I highly suggest cutting the cord on that guy. Do what makes you happy. If you say things like "I feel like I dont mean anything to him, im not really worth holding onto." then he probably doesn't care as much about you as you do him...
Neither help or advice have to be friendly. I tried to help in the way you need, not the way you want. But having re-read some of your post (the parts I COULD read) I've changed my mind. You've already decided you'll "never trust a guy again". Well shit babe, you're a lost cause. Stop wasting people's time.
All of it was in english so I dont know how you found difficulty in reading it, but anyway...................whatever, div
---------------------Hon, You're a train wreck, and I think you know this to be true. Pee or get off the pot with your marriage..if it's going -0- where MOVE ON!.......Take self esteem and parenting classes put your focus on building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself thus becoming capable of showing your child how to have healthy relationships as well! This (in my opinion) is your #1 priority. peace and blessings to you and your child.:sunny:
Sorry things aren't working out for you and your husband, but I noticed something and I feel thing urge to express my view on it... You say the girl your husband was having an affair with was harassing you, and that you "need to get her back for" it. Well, to put it bluntly... NO. You don't NEED to get her back for it. You WANT to get her back for it. And I repeat; you do NOT need to get her back for anything she's done to you. Why? because doing so would lower yourself to her level. I strongly suggest you deal with this calmly, maturely, and in a civil manner. Other than that, I'm sort of with RooRShack on this. Sorry... All the best.
Ok im confused... so u married in secret? and 6 years down the line no one knows ur married? hmm that seems rather odd to me. but i guess thats not the issue. for one, if ur married hun, no kissing other men, no matter how bad ur marriage is or wather ur husband cheated or not, ur the better person, if u feel ur marraige is going no where, then end it. start a fresh
