Whatever Happened to Socializing?

Hi People,

Does anyone else feel this way? No one seems to have the time or energy to get together and socialize anymore? I remember the good old days when there was always something exciting to look forward to. Do any of you actually get together with other people to let's say, have dinnner, have a few laughs, enjoy life, share a few tokes? I wish I knew a few people like that today. I used to. I'm 53 years young and still want to have fun. It really has become such a Facebook society. There's one person that I grew up with, a childhood friend. The only way she'll contact me, and that's if she contacts me, is on Facebook. Whatever happened to picking up the phone and saying to someone, "how are you doing?" It seems like nobody gives a shit about anyone else anymore. Another thing that I'm sick and tired of is people saying that they will do things and they don't. It's better not to depend on anyone. I look at people's faces when I am out walking, and some people just look so miserable, and it's like, you can just feel the vibe. Once in a while you will get a smile from someone. I know all of us are different, and a lot of it is how you perceive the world and your environment. It really does show on people's faces.

Sometimes I dream that life could be good again. I also want to see rainbows everyday. I want to believe that there is hope, and that maybe somehow if enough people really cared, we could turn things around. But we never seem to learn from past experience, and we just keep making the same mistakes over and over. Anyway, enough of my rant. I try to be positive and appreciate each day, but sometimes it's hard. And I know that I am not alone in the fact that I've lost people that were very dear to me. It's hard being alone and going for days without speaking to anyone. I'm glad I found this forum, it's a great place. I hope I make some new friends.

Peace,
Jas

 

Wow me too !

I agree with everything you said !

We are from the older generations that remember the time before computers , cell phones , texting and video games. We were more social . The older days were the better days .

Today everyone lives in their own world . We are becoming more isolated , angry , depressed and fearful . I truly believe it's because of modern technology . It keeps us alone and isolated in our homes . Even if we live with other people in the home we are isolated .

Well I'm new here too , cause I don't like tech. to much . It's a very neat site . I find I'm already spending to much time reading here though .

So consider me one of your first friends here !

 

I call it social retardation through modern technology. Granted I'm kind of a misanthrope. I have things that I do besides my day job that keeps me social. I intern in a recording studio which leads to interesting conversations around the Waterpipe. I used to play in bands I'll probably be doing that again as well playing music with people definitely boosts the social thing plus there is the whole being forced to be in a bar situation to help socialize.

But for the most part I think part of the reason that people don't socialize much anymore is that if we have jobs we spend most of our days socializing with people we don't really want to which makes the whole thing an absolute chore. Then when we get home we want to choose who we socialize with or we want to totally not socialize for a change.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

I'm 46 and I think it started when people moved away from family...I've got family in Florida, LA, NY and PA... How do you get to them all, when everyone works and is absorbed by their own life? Facebook is so easy to trade pictures and have a quick chat...It's cheap.

A slower more family oriented life would be nice. Who needs all these tv channels and the internet is great..eg...this site, but if you don't monitor your tme you can get carried away.

 

Not everyone in the younger generations are isolated due to technology overload. Granted, i see many people my age who are too busy melting their faces into their cell phones to look up and have an actual conversation, but my group of friends and I rarely use the phone or computer as a means of communication. Half of us don't even have cell phones so we've all gotten into the habit of stopping by each others houses when we need to talk to someone. We have sunday dinners, we get together for holidays.

I realize that we're a bit of a rarity compared to other people in our age group.

 

this^

 

Experienced This Firsthand Recently, I Was Walking Up The Main Street When I

Ran Into An Old Friend I Hadn't Seen For Umpteen Years, So After We Exchanged

The Usual Greetings He Said We Must Catch Up For A Chat ARE YOU ON

ANY OF THE SOCIAL SITES..?, I Replied I Wasn't And Received A Rather Puzzled Look.

Just Then His Phone Beeped And He Started To Talk, And Signaled To Me

As He Walked Off "Catch You Later" GLEN....

The Really Sad Part Of This Story Is We Were Standing Outside One Of The Nicest's

Coffee Shops In Town....

I Must Admit I Felt A Bit "Empty Inside" As I Walked On....



Cheers Glen.

 

Sorry to hear that.
But, please don't sign up for one now. ;D

 

Technology helps people who are anti-social get accustomed to socializing by practicing on an electronic less-personal medium.

 

That's true in theory, but I've yet to see a case where this is true in reality

 

I've come across a lot of people on this forum that say they have really severe social anxiety and from what I can tell, socializing on here doesn't seem to be helping any of them get over their social anxiety in real life.

I find that when I spend too much time online in a particular day I feel like I'm in a daze and have trouble making conversation with people in person when I finally get off the computer.

I think too much internet socializing hinders and not helps in-person socializing. I actually just finished reading an interesting article about how technology is basically making pansies out of all of us. The article phrased it much more eloquently than that lol, but that was the basic point of it. It talked about how 15 to 20 years ago a person had to suck it up and force themselves to engage in face time that might be really difficult...like breaking up with someone, asking someone on a date, confronting someone about certain issues..those are a few examples. Whereas now all a person has to do is shoot off a quick email or text somebody. There's no difficulty in doing that, but having to do difficult things face to face can build character.

 

Glen,

It could be that your friend assumed that everyone is on a social site, and that by saying you weren't, that was your way of giving him the brush-off. Or it could be that he wanted to be in touch with you, but at arm's length.

In any case, maybe if you see him again you could give him your email address or phone #

 

I've never socialised, and I haven't had internet access for very long. So technology wasn't stopping me from socialising, as I never socialised before. For several reasons, including severe nervous anxiety, reluctance to form personal relationships, and debilitating self consciousness, Ive always gone out of my way to not interact with people. If it wasnt for the internet, I wouldnt interact with people at all, so I think it is helping me.

Im in a very unique situation though, and I think for ordinary people, it is sad that technology is preventing proper social interaction that would be taking place otherwise.

 

I don't think the problem of alienation is exclusively, or even primarily, a product of technology.

I think the main problem is that the worst kind of people end up having the most influence.

There was a study of baboon social groups that identified two different kinds of social groups. One was very hierarchical, with baboons at the top abusing the baboons below them in social rank. This was passed on, until the lowest ranking adult baboons would abuse the baby baboons. There were some "nice" baboons in the group that would groom each other, but they were marginal in the society.

In the other baboon social group, baboons would groom each other often and there was much less violence. The baboons were found to have much lower levels of stress as well as arteriosclerosis. When baboons from other groups would join the peaceful group, they would be shunned if they abused the other baboons. The abusive baboons then learned to behave themselves.

So I think that human social groups are not that different. The problem is that the assholes have taken over. If someone is a total asshole, but they have a lot of wealth and power, they are admired. People who could be swayed in either direction follow the bad example. Vulnerable groups are victimized. Good people all too often end up on the margins of society.

In order to have a positive social group, good people need to have enough influence to keep bad people at bay.

 

I know how you feel! I feel the same way. I try to call people and everyones always busy and selfish. People rather be alone then take the time and energy to hang out. It really sucks. Technology is taking our souls away

 

Exactly, Reddish. With the technology that we have today, you don't even have to leave the house. Everyone seems to keep in touch by Facebook, which to me is a bunch of bullshit. That's just an excuse to avoid actually physically getting together with other people. I remember in the old days, there was always something cool happening or about to happen. My phone was always ringing. Now I'm lucky if I get one phone call a week. I don't mean to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself. But man, it would be nice to actually talk to somebody who is actually interested in something other than themselves. I know that we're all self-involved and self-absorbed to a certain extent... that's human nature. But people today seem to thrive on drama all the time. And I personally hate drama, I think we make things more complicated than they actually are. And if you notice, when you do speak to certain people, it's always about them and what they're going through, and most of the time it's negative. I only want to talk about positive things... way too much ugly in your face these days. I guess I'm an idiot, I would love it if we could all get along and live in peace.

Smile!!
Jas

 

That is so true Jasafras. I guess it must be the new norm if everyones complaining about the same things. But everything you're saying is exactly what I see too. I don't know what to do I only hope to meet people like me sometime... I don't know what the future is going to be like if technology just gets bigger and more pervasive