*Original post by sunberry and buttons as 26 ways to get a GF- modified for amusement purposes! 1. When he asks how his penis looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep him on him toes, and guys love that. 2. Never grab his penis. This can be interpreted as a sign of interest. If he grabs your hand to place it there for you, squeeze his penis really hard until he cries (this will impress him by showing him what a strong woman you are). 3. Once a month, sneak up on him from behind and knock him in the nads. Guys are like dogs; they love to be roughed up. 4. Call him in the middle of the night to ask if he's sleeping. If he is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show him you care. 5. When he’s aggravated about something, suggest to him that it might be a complete failure. This will pave the way for personal improvement, and every guy needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when he's sleeping, steal all his small things and to pawn later, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies. 7. If you're talking to another guy, make sure he's looking. When he is, stare into his eyes, mouth the words "FUCK you" and grab the other guy’s penis. Guys love competition. 8. Tell him you're going out to dinner. Drive for miles so he thinks it's going to be really special. Then take him to a burning tire yard. When he starts to question you, tell him you were just kidding and now you're really going to dinner; then drive home. Once he’s showing signs of concern , lean over and whisper very quietly into his ear "...because I can." 9. Introduce him to your friends as "some dude. Guys love special nicknames. 10. Caress his hair. Caress it HARD. 11. Cool him down when he's hot...and not by jerking him off because then you might get sticky. Rather, look him in the eye and say "if you don't stop *****ing about your erection right now, you're going to be *****ing about a black eye." The best way to cool him off is with fear. 12. When you’re together at a party. Once you’re there, Wait for him to become distracted (they always find a way to).Then leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at him the whole way home for dissing you all night. 13. Make him laugh. A good way to do this is if he has a prize object. Keep the object as your own. I always find stuff like that funny ...why shouldn't guys? 14. Let him fall asleep on you. When he's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in his ear. Repeat until he goes home and then you can do more important things (like call someone else). 15. Pass gas often. I hear guys like ladies that do that. 16. If you care for him, never ever tell him. This will only give him self-confidence, then you can never turn him into the desireable object he deep down desires to be. 17. Every time you're in his house, steal one of his shoes, socks or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, he'll go crazy. 18. While out to dinner. Right when he's about to order, interrupt and say "no, he's not hungry." Make him watch you eat. Guys love a lady who speaks for him. 19. Look him in the eyes and smile. Then punch him in the face. Guys love a spontaneous lady. 20. Give him one of your thongs, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about). 21. When it's raining, keep asking him if he's pissing again. He'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to him and just scream at him to stop pissing so much. Guys like a tough Woman. 22. Titty twisters for him and plenty of them. 23. If you're listening to music, and he asks to hear it, tell him no. This way he'll think you're mysterious. 24. Remember his birthday, but don't get him anything. Teach him that material objects aren’t important. The only thing that's important is that he keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present he can ever get. 25. When he gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell him you love it. Then, next time you know he's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Guys actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny. 26. Tell him you’ll call him at a certain time of the day. This way he'll anticipate your call. Make sure to tell him when you call that you're going to tell him kinky and dirt things he needs to know; Now he'll be really excited. Don't call. ----Thanx for playing, please come again.
So funny!!! My fave: 3. Once a month, sneak up on him from behind and knock him in the nads. Guys are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
tee he he.....Glad it gave you a chuckle! ( Although I am not a fan of inflicting anyone with personal injury, it's all out of fun!)
LOL #4's the best...because it happens... 4. Call him in the middle of the night to ask if he's sleeping. If he is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show him you care.
lawnboy3 that was my second favorite! I am still LOL, and it is hours later. Such a great thread, LOLOL.
Yup...only downfall is that we live together, so some of these don't apply to us...like calling him 4-5 times a night. Instead, I just wake up and nudge him in the ribs a few times
Xlear, the op, s&b is a she. I think it was intended to be bitterly sarcastic. I'm assuming that she had some bad experiences that were reflected in the post.
....Just my kind of sense of humor! greatly appreciated her clever post, just as I hope this one is taken as a compliment! My apologies for my ASSumption I'm usually much less presumptuous. Cheers
