have you been through nasty breakup?

my breakup reason was, my ex choosed making his family happy in a wrong way.

he married this vietnamese girl for making his family happy. It sounds bit confusing but his family coming from very old fashioned asian culture. His parents asked him to marry this girl who is his parents' best childhood buddy's daughter.
he agreed to it in order to do their favor and make them happy. (the time he made this stupid decision, he was brokenheart thinking that would never been in love ever again himself). but his family mislead him that this would be just for greencard marriage for getting her better life , this was actually planned for the real marriage. now his wife moved in the states under his parents roof and working for them.

and he fell in love with me. I found out he had sex with this girl . knowing that just killing me. top of that his family hates me so much because they think im controlling him, Im the one evil thing to ruined this marriage. I couldnt stand all this ****ed up situation.

I always made him decision. basically I had to force him to make decision for our love. he decided to file for divorce. his dad disowned him over this thing.

two nights ago. calls from them. they would accept his divorce but they want him to help this girl out staying in the states. and he said okay.
his excuse for this time was that he wants me to get accepted by his family in the future. If he didnt agree with that , his family would hate me forever.
I resent all this the reason why i want them to divorce was to send her back her country(vietnam).
How i can accept the fact this girl staying with his family who had sex with my man, be loved by his family.
this girl was threating him that if he doesnt get her greencard , she will contest him as an abuser (this is the only way she can stay in the states w/o marriage process ) and this girl knows his family is herside, she sent happy picture with his family while he got disowned by his dad.
I resent that all these , heis sill going to listen to his family and help this girl out. I am so exhausted. all i can see from him as a man who cannot stand up for himself.

so i had to end this thing. now he is emailing me that he wouldnt help this girl to stay in the states.. but... I am not happy with this either....because this breakup leads him to change his mind not himself. thats all i can think this way.


I dont know how i feel about this breakup right now ,. I loved this man so much that i was willing to give up everything for him. strangly ,... i feel more like numb...

Im wondering If you guys ever been in nasty drama or breakup...?

 

If you love this guy, then be with him. Sure, his upbringing made him very family-orientated, but he was willing to change for you. You say that it was just his mind, not him, but that IS him. He making a sacrifice for you, don't be foolish into thinking that that isn't who he is, because it is.

If she tries to charge him with assault, he can fight it, and you'll be there to help him. Fight that should it come to that. Also, try not to be so bitter. Yes, they slept together, but they were married. It was a different time, now he wants to be with you.

 

Well, you have to also remember there's a cultural difference here. It's not necessarily that he doesn't want to stand up for himself, but that it's very difficult for him to. It isn't necessarily his fault, nor is it the fault of his parents'. It's just a cultural thing, and unfortunately you'd most likely find yourself having to work around it if you decided to stay with him. But if the love you feel toward him is strong enough, then you know what to do.

Remember, you're not the only one suffering, I'm quite sure this has been very difficult for him to deal with, too. As for the other girl... Well, she's just being his wife. She came all the way from Vietnam to USA to marry your guy, most likely not even knowing he was already taken. She's not about to simply forget about this marriage, it's a life in Vietnam versus life in USA where she may have more potential. Be patient, remain intelligent, and above all, be courteous and respectful of their culture.

I understand it's a tough situation, and I wish you all the best.

 

He loves you. Wants to be with you and he's divorcing his wife for you.

However you have to remember that whatever the reasin for their marriage, she was his wife. He married her and quite frankly he owes it to her not to be an absolute prick and not to fuck her over.

Don't break up with him because he's going to help his wife settle down. You've been through too much already to call it quits for something with so little meaning. He should never have told you about having had sex with her since if I were in your shoes that'd be the last thing I'd want to hear. But she's his wife. Those who are married have sex, it's perfectly fine. I also think you wouldn't be so in love with him if you weren't jealous but it is something you need to be reasonable about.

You also need to remember that his wife has done nothing wrong. It's bitter and sad that she's threatening to play the abuse card but she's probably telling tales and she wouldn't get away with it anyway. She moved her whole life and her home to marry a man who doesn't love her and is seeing someone else. That's a pretty terrible situation to be in.

I was with my ex for 6 years and we broke up because he's having an arranged marriage. His family were never going to agree to us being together and chose a girl who was a friend's daughter. We broke up and it's over. I'd have done anything for him too. I know how it feels to be in your situation. It hurts. But you've been through too much to throw it all away.

 

Everybody has lived some massed break-up but everything that happens in our lives just make us stronger ... SO move on !