I hate my best friends boyfriend!!!

Ok so I've been best friends with this girl for almost 13 years. She has honestly never had the greatest taste in guys but I haven't been so successful myself untill recently so I can't judge that too much but this new one That she's been with for 3 months gets on my nerves like no other. He doesn't work at all, expects her to buy him all that he needs and wants and doesn't treat her the way she should be. He thinks he's smarter and better than anyone when all he's accomplished in life is making pizzas. We can't be ourselves around him and he makes me uncomfortable. Today for the first time in 13 years told her no do not come over when she says she was since she mentioned he'd be with her. I felt horrible, made so many excuses why but it's really bothering me. I want to say something to her but I'm scared she'll get upset. I'm not the type to really hold back unless it will really hurt someone I love so I'm wondering if I should just shut up and not say anything yet. I can't keep avoiding this or being around him forever tho. She's bound to catch on real soon.. So I dunno, if anyone has been through this and has advice that would be amazing!
Have a great day! Blessed Be!

 

If you feel uncomfortable to be around him tell him.

I wouldn’t hesitate for a second and if he doesn’t stay away knock a few of his teeth out and see if he doesn’t get the message.

I know it’s a bit different because you’re a girl but you can’t very well hang around with someone you despise


Hotwater

 

I'd say she has to learn her lesson on her own. Tell her that you can't stand being around him and that you're sorry and you'd never let a guy between you two, but you'd rather hang out with her solo as opposed to having him there.

 

I know but for her I do.. I love this girl. So as much as I'd love to knock his teeth out I'm not sure that's going to help much, might make me feel better but pretty sure hitting her boyfriend would result in losing her friendship.. He doesn't creep me out that's not what I meant by uncomfortable, I just mean he makes me uncomfortable because I can't be myself and I feel like he judges everything so I just don't say much and when I do he pretty much just acts like I'm retarded. Cuz he thinks he's just so great lol

 

^^^Yes. Tell her it's nothing against her, you really value her friendship, but you just can't handle being around this guy. Tell her you'd love to see her when he's not around. If she asks why you can't stand him, tell her. Be as kind as you can, don't rant or raise your voice, but be honest.

If it ends up hurting your friendship, then maybe the friendship needed to be tested... You said you can't be yourselves around the boyfriend - can you be yourself with your "best friend?" If not, then how good is that friendship? This is a growth experience - try to keep that in mind. Growth requires conflict and stretching, and sometimes learning how and when to draw the line.

 

I completely agree here. I almost lost a great friend because of a guy I was dating...but she kept her mouth shut about him and just let it be-but she did tell me she didn't want him around when we hung out.

I feel that really true friendships do need tests from time to time. I'm very lucky to have 3 amazingly awesome best friends, but there have been plenty of tests on those friendships because of people we dated that the others hated.

 

yeah, telling her that you don't want to be around him sounds good.

if you don't like the way he treats her, then you can talk to her about that too, but don't be surprised if she gets pissed off

you don't have to harp about how he sucks.
she can decide for herself whether or not she wants to be with him or not

 

Thanks guys.. I did talk to her alittle last night, that went really well it helped that she was complaining about him and thinking about moving out so maybe it's just a matter of time and he'll be gone. I'm just glad she knows my feelings now. Yes I can completely be myself with her, she knows me better than anyone. So she means alot to me. Thanks again guys! Hopefully soon I can post a happy thread about her breaking up with him lol

 

it doesn't matter if you like him, it matters if she does. don't get involved.

 

I agree but I just don't want to be around him... I'd rather her not be with him but yea that's up to her.. She knows my feelings now though so it's cool that's really all I was worried about.

 

You could tell her that you don’t like him and then like avoid her until its over. U might not talk to her for a while especially if she like loves him but after it’s over she will come back. I feel that’s ur best bet take a break from her until she comes to her senses. This can backfire though she may marry him and have his kids and then it will be years before u speek again and u will ask her why and she will say its cause u hate her husband. If u love ur friend put up with her bf.

 

I partially agree with dark sugar. I do think if this lasts and she knows you hate her boyfriend it could lead to you possibly losing your best friend. If you're going to put up with him, he should attempt it as well. However I think you should tell her how his actions make you uncomfortable. If he loves her he should respect you as her close friend and shape up and stop acting like a jerk. Even if nothing changes, you should still be able to see her without his company. If it gets to the point he won't let her see friends by herself then it's definitely an unhealthy relationship and she will learn it the hard way eventually. Good luck.

 

AHAHAHAHAHA BOOP SHITS FUCKIN Awesome ^

 

I am sort of in a similar position. I can't stand my friend's boyfriend either. Like your friend..she has made bad choices in men in the past but i don't ever say anything unless he hurts her. Then you have the right as a friend. If she's happy...let her be happy and find out for herself he's a dick...you will still have a friend....no worries about causing friction if you say nothing.

 

lol thanks :2thumbsup:

 

Why does everyone do the boop thing?