Wow hate airing out dirty laundry but I'm not really sure where else to go with this. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years now. For the first 3 years we had the most amazing sex life. We experimented, we were open minded, and just had fun. This last year things have been bad. It seems like she has no desire at all. She still snuggles up to me, tells me she loves me, and that she wants to be with me, but when i make a pass at her it's like i've committed a crime. She gets angry when i grope at her at all, and I just don't know what to do. I've tried getting romantic, rose petals all over the room, full body massages, champaign, the whole 9 yards. It just seems like nothing gets her going anymore. I feel like the biggest effing loser on the planet. So ladies, help a guy out here. I love her to death but i'm starting to feel like i'm missing something.
Honestly, I'm thinking since you've attempted to be understanding etc. Ask her straight out if she's still into you sexually. Saying she loves you and not being interested in being sexual with you doesn't mesh. It's only fair of her to fess up what her deal is. In my opinion that would be the loving thing to do!
Yeah that's pretty much where i'm at now. It's almost to the point where i feel like i'm getting punished or something.
Sorry to impose..Do you think she'd see someone else w/o breaking it off with you first? Do you think she's capable of keeping a painful secret like that? - questions can be rhetorical if you'd prefer.
Believe me i've asked. Other than being one of those paranoid dudes that follows her around i don't know what else to do.
Maybe it's time to let her know the relationship isn't working for you right now, let her know camly, so she knows your serious and taking some time away from each other to rethink. Best wishes for you both.
yeah I agree with Xlear...you might have to break it off...if she isn't into it, sexually, then she isn't as committed to it as you are and you don't deserve that
That sucks, it sounds like you're a good guy. It sounds like shes just lost sexual attraction to you. Thats happened to me before; after being with someone for so long the chemistry goes away and it turns into a platonic love. If thats the case, the only thing you can really do is cut your losses and walk away. It could be something else thats not related to you at all. Maybe shes suffering from depression and that has made her lose interest in sex. If thats the case, she needs to be open to you about how she is feeling and try to get help. If she can't do that, then she's not being fair to you.
You just have to talk to her, tell her in a straight forward manner that something seems off and that you're not happy with the current situation. Something will give.
Not wanting to make you more paranoid but I have known many dudes that described your same situation and I have been there once myself. Chicks that cheat sometimes have difficulty being intimate with the man they are cheating on. She may not be but don't think for one second that you don't have the right to look into. You have invested a few years of your life with her and now she is being strange. You have tried bringing it up and gotten nowhere. If you have to do a bit of investigating to make sure you are not getting chumped by her it doesn't make you a stalker or a creep. Cheating happens all the time and finding out that you have been spending your time and money on a cheater sucks. Besides if she suspected that you were cheating she would totally look into it. Oprah and womens magazines have been telling men that we don't listen, pay attention or understand women for decades but the opposite is also true. You have feelings and needs and an ego as well and you deserve her consideration and respect so long as she chooses to be in a relationship with you. Best of luck.
