Ok I need help w/ a situation...My husband and I hve been married for 13 yrs! We seperated almost 2 yrs ago for 10 mnths then got bk together.. it has been good BUT one night while we were still sep. I told hm tht I liked girl on girl porn as well as couples(we hardly ever watched porn when we were together)..well of course he liked tht idea and asked had I ever been w/ a woman..I said no and he told me he thinks I need to experience it at least once and OF COURSE he wants to be there!! For awhile he would pick on me about it..like if he saw me lookin at a grl etc...well it got to the point I was almost embaressed for ever sayin anythng!! Then he quit teasin me BUT last night he brought it up again..It started as a joke of course then grew into a deeper discussion..He wanted to know if I wanted to go to a titty bar and wanted to know if I would like a lap dance etc...Well its NOT like tht and I tried explaining it to him that I don't look at women like that I hve jst had my moments when I was curious...Then of course he says he wants to be there and all tht and he thinks I should!! By the time I got off the phone tho I was so frustrated and aggravated I dnt even know how I feel about EVER tellin him!! He has not been a faithful partner n the past (wether it be on the internet phone or in person!!)and all the trust is not there anymore...I dnt know sometimes I feel like me telling hm gave him an excuse to try and talk me into doin all the thngs he wants to do like goin to the titty bars and lookin at other naked women!!! Now I'm soo confused about the situation I dnt know what to do!!! ANY ADVICE???
if you really don't want to do it, then don't and tell him you wish you'd never even mentioned it... why did you get back with him if all trust has gone? tbh it doesn't sound like the kind of marriage that will last from what you have written already.... sorry
Well thats jst the thng I'm not sure I do and not sure I don't and I DID tell him I wished I'd never told him...As far as getting back together...I do love him and NOBODYS perfect out there...He's a good Dad and when we're good we're GREAT!! Like I said since we've been bk together things have been really good!! as for the trust thing I think that will take time...we both have trust issues(both for completely different reasons!!!)but still we've been together a long time and I truly believe this is where I am supposed to be...I know I hear myself sayin it and think I MUST BE NUTS!! But we have 3 good reasons to fight thru all this and TRY everything before throwin n the towel...
You're with a guy you don't trust who cheats and is now trying to pressure you into a three-way which you don't really seem that interested in. Women like you cause me to lose respect for the female population.
:iagree: Sounds to me like you will have trust issues with this man for as long as you both shall live. Amen
There'd be some clarity if you told him what you told us, wouldn't there? I mean you make sense for the most part
Let me get this straight . I gather from the info. you provided , you have 3 children with this man ? He cheats , and you're on and off again ? Yet strangely you're on here asking if you should enter into a 3 way . Excuse me , not to be a dick or anything . But I feel you have bigger problems in your life that NEED immediate attention . Like for starters providing a stable home for your children . You had children with this man , for good or bad he is their father . Your only goal in life at this point should be to raise happy , well adjusted children . You NEED to stand up to him and tell him either " you're going to get your proverbial shit together , and be a responsible husband and father . Or you need to go , for my and the kids sake " . In short it's time to grow the fuck up for both of you, and stop putting HIS selfish needs and desires , before your children's and your home . If you don't trust him , you probably never will and for good reason I'm sure . However you seem to love him and for the sake of your children , owe it to them to try and make it work with him , so that he can remain in their life . As for the 3 way , who gives a fuck , do it, don't , whatever . I'm just saying i think you have to put your house in order . If you don't already trust him , how is adding another person to his sex life going to help that ? If it was just you and he , then it would be fine . However it's not , and once you have children they should ALWAYS come first . It's time to get your priorities straight .
Im not here trying to gain YOUR respect!! I came here trying to gt some outside input on my situation which a few have tastefully done! harsh words sometimes need to be said to get the point across but not disrespect!! There is more to this life than just SELF and I was jst asking for advice so if you have none don't post!!
you told him and he is STILL pestering you? you still love him? sounds like you need to find some self respect... fuck what others think for sure, but what about you? i'm not having a go, i'm feeling for you... i had three small children that i had to bring up on my own... so glad i did... besides all that, maybe he needs to hear it again... or maybe you could say something like... "look love, i said it without thinking... i may, i may not, but if you keep pestering me about it, it will never happen for sure!" what i can also add is that if you do do it, please not for him, but for you... don't say anything, other than insisting he doesnt pester you about it again, until you are sure what it is that YOU want... not him... just a suggestion...
Bella , It was never my intention to offend or disrespect you in any way . I did and for that I'm sorry .I'm sorry that came out kind of harsh . It was never my intention . Please accept my sincere apology . As a guy sometimes things come out to blunt and judgmental. All I was trying to say was . There is a lot at stake in your marriage . If there is trust issues and unresolved stress from past issues . Then be very careful adding any new outside stresses on it . You have managed to make it work for 13 years and that's wonderful ! It showed in your post that you love him , and you can make it work . I give you credit for sticking in there and trying to make it work , and for wanting to please him . Again I'm sorry I offended you . Sometimes outside perspectives are good , for differing opinions . And to bring clarity to a situation . I hope you choose what's best for your family . And I wish you , he and your children all the best .
First to you papa wolf....what i said earlier WAS NOT directed at you!! I appreciate BOTH your post on here...I have actually read that first one several times today...like I said sometimes harsh words hve to be said in order to get it thru the other persons head!!(not everytime BUT sometimes) You are right I do love him and I'm not perfect by no means... I just wanted to clear the air and let you know I wasn't talkin to you...I DO appreciate your input and yes it does help to get outside input sometimes... THAT SAID....lillallyloukins...I just wanted to ty...what you said makes perfectly good since too and I believe I will take tht advice you gave me!! UNTIL I know!!!
3 good reasons?! Your children just want you to be happy. They want what's best for you, them and the situation. They need honestly and stability. You don't need to keep trying for their sake, children are stronger and far more clued on than you think. Anyway; just tell him to stop it. Have a real good heart to heart and tell him you're not interested. What you have is just curiosity, a little fantasy. It doesn't mean you want to act it out. Tell him you don't appreciate his pressure and his constant pecking at the subject is making you sad and uncomfortable. But honest and open and mean it when you tell him it just isn't going to happen.
