Jealous because of an UFO!!! :(

Hello everyone,

finally, I landed here... sigh. (btw: Sorry, my English is not very good.)

I need your advise:
My boy-friend and me - we are a couple now for two and a half year. We got to know each other on the internet. I thought he is the perfect man for me. He is so kind and sweet...

Correction: He WAS kind and sweet.

Some months ago he bought one of those flying UFO-things. And when he did this, everything changed. I know this might sound funny, but I mean it!

When he is not off to work, day and night, he is occupied with that terrible thing. I really hate it.

I talked to him and he said that he is sorry and he wanted to lower the time with that UFO-thing. But one or two weeks later, he went back to the old habit.

I don´t know what to do anymore. We even have much less sex than before. If this thing is not in reach, everything is fine...

Can you help me? Shall I finish? Pleeeaasse, I need an advise!

 

if you grow tentacles he will become interested in you again

or antennae - where exactly is he going?

 

I can only speculate, but it's probably something he views as a "hobby". Or maybe it's just a phase... But let's just say for now it's a hobby. Us boys love hobbies, and we can lose track of time really easily when we're having fun with our hobbies. Is it a toy UFO you're talking about? If so, I personally think considering to end a relationship over something trivial as a flying toy seems a bit unrealistic. After all, it's only been "some months"(however long that is) since he bought this thing. It's still pretty new to him.

It just might be a phase, though. In that case, you just wait it out. Eventually he'll grow out of the toy UFO... That is, until he finds something else to play with, lol. Remember, boys will be boys. We need new toys from time to time. But I think that's what makes us kinda cute, lol.

Either way, be patient with him. Talk to him about it. But don't just forbid him to play with the UFO. Actually, I can see myself really getting into a toy like that myself, it sounds like fun! lol xD Hey, a brilliant idea! You join him and you guys can both play with the UFO! How about it?

All the best.

 

Thanks for your quick answers.

Well, I would never play with this ugly thing. But, yes, it is a hobby. But first of all, he paid like 8.000 $ for this "toy" - and now he is spending all the time with it.

How long do you think should I wait? The relationship is not acceptable this way for me...

I mean, I would accept it, if it was only like 2 hours per day - but it is much, much more...

Ok, it´s his hobby, I know. But we have less sex. And that´s the point where it goes way to far...

Thank you!

I don´t even know what exactly it is. I think it is to huge and to expensive to be a toy UFO. I just googled the name and found this. I think it is something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viRQhw6AgZE

 

^that thing is crazy.

I know how you feel. I dated a guy a few years ago that was obsessed with computers. He would spend all day at his job working on computers and then come home and do 5 more hours of computer programming just for fun. I used to strip down naked and prance around to try to get his attention and he wouldn't even look up from his computer.

We eventually broke up for many different reasons, but one of the biggest reasons was because he bored the shit out of me with his little computer hobby.

I'm not going to advise you to do the same thing, but I think you should keep in mind that if your boyfriends obsession is making you unhappy in your relationship, you will more than likely find happiness just being alone or with someone else.

 

Thank you for your advise.... I wish I could die right now...

 

It doesn't matter if its over a toy, a hobby, a job or aliens from another planet.... If you aren't happy with the way things are, talk to him (which you said you already did). If you can't work it out (which its seems you can't), you are best to move on.

Staying and trying to change him, will only lead you to hating each other. All you can do is make sure you are communicating with him in an honest and open manner, if he doesn't wish to respond to that, it is his choice.

However, after saying all that, I will point something else out that tells me you should break up with him.

He is obviously interested in this ufo... especially if it cost 8 grand... And you don't have enough interest in what he is interested in to even find out what it is called?

Your relationship is already over.

 

You're welcome.

Ok, so you're basically saying you feel as though you're not getting enough sex? I mean, I agree sex is a very important aspect of many relationships but... How about shared fun times expressed in non-sexual ways? First and foremost, you might want to actually try to understand why he likes this UFO so much. Avoid being negative about it, because he's just going to resent the fact that you resent the UFO. Acknowledge the impressive features of this machine.

You might also try to come up with new ways to entertain him. Remember you guys have been dating for more than two years now. With some couples, things start to get old after a couple of years. I don't really know how serious you are about this relationship, but if you are really serious and want to stay with him, you might try to be creative and find something you both could enjoy together. I don't mean just sex, though. Sex, when only one party wants it, isn't making love. Something else to keep in mind.

By the way, I watched the video, that's no ordinary radio-controlled toy UFO... Well, scratch that, it is not a toy, period. That thing your boyfriend has is a HIGH QUALITY, un-manned flight drone. o.o You can also hook a camera to it and take pictures from the sky. With something like this, one is sure to spend LOTS of time on it. I sure would, lol.

Anyway, like I said it's still new to him, and chances are he's probably still in the learning process of how to operate this equipment. I don't really know how long it will take, but I'm sure he'll eventually start spending less time on it.....err, I think. xD

If you take some time and be patient, try to understand where he's coming from, while he does the same for you...and if you are still unhappy with him, then there's a chance you guys aren't meant to be. I do hope it all works out, though.

 

i have this really cool new flying machine that i just spent two months' salary on, and my damn girlfriend keeps flashing this damn mystery hole between her legs and acting like i should care about that more than my new flying machine.

 

you should find your own hobby OP. Like collecting Ar15 rifles.. there are a couple online dealers you can get one for under $500.00.. then shoot that stupid privacy invasion toy..

 

He should dump you for the UFO, you don't seem very nice.

 

QFE

If my S.O. dropped 8k on ANYTHING, I'd expect him to be using it all the damn time.


This is a mountain/molehill situation. While you may feel emotionally one way, it's time for the head to kick in to see how rational the emotion is, in the grand scale of the relationship.

Give his hobby a try, like Alt said. Make an effort on your part to try and be interested and perhaps he'll try harder on his time management.


[edit] Ok, that is seriously one sick drone. Now *I'm* jealous! le sigh....I need richer friends.

 

If I had that thing I wouldn't be interested in sex either... at least not for a few minutes.

 

If it was my man, he'd be finding a way to have the UFO involved in the sex!

....those camera's would get some great angles....

 

..

 

Wait! Are you saying this is NOT a toy? I mean, look at it: It´s definitely a toy, isn´t it? I mean this guy in the video is "playing" with it like with a joystick, doesn´t he? I am a little bit confused no - honestly. This definetly looks like a small bullshit-toy to me!

 

It looks like something the government uses to employ top secret spying tactics, to me.

maybe your boyfriend is a SPY

 

"This definetly looks like a small bullshit-toy to me! "

Ok, so I guess you trying to be interested in his hobby isn't going to happen. Doesn't sound like you want a compromise, either. Alt had some great things to say, and you only respond to the one little part.

At this point, it doesn't sound like you don't want to fix a relationship, you want to win an argument.

 

For me, if you make more money with it then you spend on it, it isn't a toy or a hobby.

If it just costs money to buy and you play with it, its a toy...

If it keeps costing money over the long term, its a hobby...

 

Yup, this definitely confirms that he should dump you and find a less mean woman.