So...since i was 10 I've watched a lot of porn. A lot a lot. Like multiple times a day every day. Obviously, that's a generalization but it's mostly true. A while back I was having sexual identity issues, I though porn might help me sort that out. It's probably had the opposite effect. Sometimes I'm in to straight/gay/S & M/taboo./MMF/FF/Bondage whatever. You name it, i've seen it. Sometimes I get grossed out, sometimes I'm just bored. I haven't had too much in the way of a personal life. My main access to sexuality is with porn. I typed out a whole life history but I deleted it because it was, A-self indulgent and B-probably divulged too much detail. Anyway, I was in love with a girl, and I wanted to have sex with her badly. Certain times with her were the most I've ever been aroused. The situation was fucked up though. We've only kissed 2-3 times. All last semester she'd come over and we'd watch movies together. We'd often start out cuddling but before long I'd be feeling her all over and kissing her body. She wouldn't kiss me back, and her vagina was usually off limits, but she'd usually get drunk enough to let herself enjoy it for a while. She'd either get guilty or upset so I'd stop (there was a love quadrangle) But I always wanted her. That being said, the one time she gave me head I really didn't enjoy it as much as I though I would. I don't know if this was because I had unreasonable expectations, I was completely wasted, or I knew she wasn't going to let me have sex with her, and she'd probably get upset. All were true, but I still wasn't as hard as I should've been, and I started thinking I was gay again. I was turned on enough to feel blue-balled though, and when I beat myself off I fingered her vigorously. Maybe I'm straight. So back to reality. I've already come-out as totally confused to basically all my friends and family. I'm not afraid of social rejection, I live in the most liberal place on earth. Sexual identity issues are completely an-inward matter. Every once and a while I get the good sense to not worry so much about it. Then the anxiety comes back (this fact makes me think I'm gay). I would very much like to have a personal life. I would very much like to be attracted to someone in real-life and feel sure of it. I think my penis should be a good judge. The trouble is I rarely get erections in the course of daily life. Part of the problem is the stimulant-heavy medication i take every day. Although I think about sex constantly, sex with men, sex with women, comparing the two, it's mostly just stress-inducing. This is mirrored in my porn viewing. In short, porn is not a fulfilling sexual endeavor. It just confuses me more and probably tires me out. So, I was wondering if anyone has tips for quitting. I'm not going to buy any religious arguments or even heteronormative ones, so I thought maybe someone here could help me. A mild smoker and probably a mild alcoholic, but mostly I'm addicted to porn and masturbation. It gets to be joyless, I can't take that anymore. Can anyone help?
have you ever had a wet dream? do you want one? =P If you don't masturbate for a while you will get a stronger erection and possible a nice dream after a while. I'm in the same boat as you, it's very difficult for me to avoid arousing imagery and masturbation. In the back of my mind, the whole thing might just be a non-issue....but I do know sometimes it feels nice to be horny and 'unsatisfied'. And a sexy dream would be sooooo gooood XD I'm not very good at holding out, but one way of doing it is to breath deeply. When you see something or think of something hot, just breath and clear your mind. There are various yoga/tantric techniques about controlling sexual energy too but I haven't really tried them very seriously as of yet. All the best, hope it goes well, but don't stress too much dude....
Hmm, i cant really give good advice, I'm terrible at quitting/cutting back on nearly everything.. Maybe try to do other things your enjoy. ex. if you like to take nice walks, or go see a funny movie, Find other things on your computer to interest you, If you like video games play them.. Just try, to find something else to take up your free time, and eventually over time, you may find that the craving, and voice calling to you, gets tuned out more and more, until it's almost a whisper! I wish you luck! -ambie
I hope this helps, but for me I was totally gay and really into porn. I coulnt stop watching it. I say I was gay but for me it was more of a fetish. I was very much attracted to women. But I couldnt stop watching it. Because after Awhile I figured if I kept up with this kind of action i would probably never reproduce or see any of my dreams fulfilled. So I said okay...I'll watch straight porn and over time it worked. Soon I started to see the beauty in me and other men. Then my values and beliefs started to kick in. and finally I said enough is enough. After litreally watching my friedns struggle with porn and seeing how their lives were going I made a consious decion to finda real b/f or g/f that I could interact with in the real world rather than on screen. Be good to your self
You have a big problem which started years ago and has became a hard one. For a great problem that has gone far from your reach, a great solution that's beyond human resources. But, if you reject the supernatural help of God there's notingh left for you that could be really effective and long lasting. Human advice might sound good for a moment, but it's based in your own willpower which soon fails. On the opposite, He doesn't fail. You might want to think about it...there is good help there.
Yeah...I'm an atheistic Jew. Not that I don't appreciate the psychology (AA seems to work after all). But No.
