Is it wrong for me to offer advice?

I have been learning about buddhist philosphy for a few years, and I have started practicing mindfullness meditation for a few weeks. I felt the results from the meditation almost instantly. A week later, I felt I was in touch with a part of me that I had lost for a long time.

I have always been one to give advice, and nowadays, when people come to me I have found myself to be almost ''preaching'' meditation and explaining that although it is hard work, it can be a solution to most ''psychological'' problems. The concept of ego dissolution just makes perfect sense to me, and I feel like I want to share it.

After doing so a few times however, I remind myself that I am just starting to walk that path. Although I am almost sure that I am going in the right direction, sometimes I feel weird preaching it as it hasn't been ''proven'' to me yet.

Is it bad what I am doing? Should I be keeping this to myself? is this bad Karma?

 

Whenever you tell/show someone something that they do not know about then you are teaching. Just telling them about your experience is teaching them about something they do not know. Nothing is wrong with this.

You do need to take responsibility for what you are saying though. If one of these people begins meditation and unlocks repressed memories or the experiences are too much for them they may blame you for teaching them. This is your responsibility.

I've been learning about Buddhism for about three years and recently began formal training in the Soto Zen school. I have been asked by my dharma adviser to refrain from speaking about my training. When people ask me questions about general Buddhist beliefs I tell them about it and if I do not have an answer for them I try to refer them to a source were they can find the information. If they ask me about my training, even my mother, I tell them that I am not willing to talk about it at this point.

That is how I deal with these situations.

 

nobody likes people that preach as if they have all the answers.

do you have all the answers?
then why would you preach?

 

If you couch your beliefs as such, as your beliefs and nothing more, I see no harm in sharing them with those who show an interest.

 

Your question can only arise from a state of dreamlike reflection, not from fullness of mind or mindfulness.

 

If it has played on your mind enough to post it here, perhaps not do it. Advice is only to confirm what you already know. You know you are uncomfortable sharing your own advice on meditation, so for now keep it under wraps, see where it takes you.

 

What he said.

I have one or two questions rather than a comment.

What IS Mindfulness meditation? i.e., what is it you are being mindful of? and, is it a particular IT or many it's?

How can you be "in touch with a part of YOU that had been lost" and share a "concept of EGO dissolution"? You can't have both. Either there is no you, or there is no ego dissolution.

HTML:

 

Shivaya,

everything offered in life is an opinion. the hearer has the right and the responsibility to winnow out the useful, and throw away the useless. the teller has the right and responsibility to give the best statement that they are NOW able to give. that is 'in this moment'. the next moment may see growth in both parties. what appears now to be useful will perhaps then appear insane or of no worth. what is now useless may be like the shoes thrown away yesterday....when one is barefoot, and must cross a pile of broken glass to get to something else.

if you feel like speaking, and can deal with the consequences of such, then do. the consequences of such comprise a long list...some may not like you; some may think you are nuts. others may think you wise-and this may mean your own ego trip becomes more complicated. in extreme cases, you may have physical consequences...someone may beat you, or sue you. i do not believe...no one has convinced me...that the next moment is visible to any of us. what i say now may be useful...or useless to you or anyone who reads it. i do not trouble myself over the next moment in most instances. the story of the two monks who carried the noblewoman across the river comes to mind.

the extreme option on the other end of the 'speak' line is...silence. there are consequences to this, also.

you get to pick. you have the right and responsibility to pick what you think is best for your circumstance. no one else does....nor should they. the place where 'you are' is yours. every step is a lesson, although some lessons just feel like pain or joy.

when we speak, there is a reason. in reviewing this, i find my reason is 'to help'. perhaps this happens to you. when i think of 'why do i want to help?', i realize that i know there is nothing to help....there is no help for anything. the thought 'the world is the way it is; there is nothing wrong or right with it.' occurs to me. therefore, perhaps i have not spoken at all. there is much yet to learn for me.

 

Thanks alot guys - lots of interesting stuff.

Some of you seem to think I am ''preaching'' and pretending I am some sort of enlightened guru, but it's really not the case. Every time I talk about it I explain that I am new to this but that maybe they should look in to this for themselves.

Jeabou: ''Advice is only to confirm what you already know''. This is very very true. But on the other hand, if I feel like I found something and have started on a path that may bring me to a whole new level of consciousness and understanding, it would be selfish of me not to share it with my fellow man.

On that note, I guess I'll just choose the middle path here.

Thanks guys!

 

I think those that are truly enlightened are reluctant to offer advice because they know it will only really help if those in need of advice come to the answers by themselves and not through someone else telling them the answers. The Truth isn't easy, it's a path that must be embarked upon completely alone and completely by one's own choice.

 

I know of no reason the truth should be difficult, or "not easy".

I also know I have never been alone, I have always chosen with a guide.

We may benefit from the experience of others. There are signposts of common experience.

The teachings of Buddha are just such an example.

Giving is demonstration of having.
We teach to learn as we learn to teach.

 

What do you mean, not difficult? If it was not difficult, people would not go into temples and retreats, sometimes paying lots of money. Buddha almost starved himself to death trying to find enlightenment. Look at the Christian monks and ascetics. Many people aren't looking for truth, simply because it's too hard, and instead cover themselves with comforts.

 

And so you should, but you will need to get past your doubt in it, otherwise you may share some misguided advice. Maybe instead of offering it up as advice, just share your personal story and hope that the receiver takes what they need from it.

 

If something were easy, everyone would do it.


Something my mother always told me growing up.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with passing on opinion
(its what Free speech is all about)
Advice is I feel, expanding on what has been experienced by the individual
Taking it is - a matter of conscience, and living with the consequences
< Peace + Love - Protest + Protect - Save the Planet >
eace:

 

What is so, is so, regardless of what is done or what is not done. Admittedly the appreciation of that fact may be in short supply. There is however, no degree of difficulty in being. Temptation is simply the desire to have illusions be real.

He then abandoned that effort as being too extreme.

People go to retreats and pay money with the hope or expectation of receiving some benefit, not because peace is "difficult" to obtain.

Many people perceive their process as being difficult but it need not be. It appears difficult to the degree that one feels it is incumbent on themselves to give up things that they would prefer to keep. We could quiet that ailment right down with the realization that possession is, whether prized or demonic.
From that perspective it may be easy to see that it is better to be free than possessed and therefore, it does not represent a sacrifice to be made to give up the entanglements of possession.

It can only be difficult to the extent that we refuse to accept healing or solution for ourselves.

It is simply rare that one values truth above relative comfort. To learn a new skill takes one out of their comfort zone. It is only at the very beginning where it appears difficult and this is simply the friction of altering inertial movement. At first when learning to tie shoestrings we are not immediately successful and we fumble through a few trials before our muscles learn the appropriate tensions to apply. Success is relative to investment. Our investment need not be overwhelming. It is enough to be consistent, as in time, there are no idle thoughts.

 

The number one rule about advice - any advice - is not to give any unless asked for it. Unsolicited advice is usually perceived by the recipient as pushing, and people will resist a push. You run the risk of turning people off what you are offering.

If asked, by all means share what you have learned. What you have learned is how meditation affects you. You don't know anything about how it will affect them.

Some people have repressed memories or even undiagnosed mental illnesses or instability that meditation can unlock, devastating their lives. It is a risk you take when you teach, and not until you are a certified teacher of meditation are you really competent to judge whether or not that is likely. So, beware of telling people that it will help them. It might or it might not.

 

"When knowledge is desired,a teacher will appear". I like this from Castenada. I'm going to assume that from neophyte to master(?) in any life changing endeaver ,there are differant levels of knowledge which can be shared with those who ask and at the same time ,those who teach will also be asking for knowledge on a differant level. You will teach and you will learn. Seems like a natural progression to me.

 

I don't think it's wrong, no.

 

There is a symbolic version of human growth represented by a ladder, each rung representing that level. In order to pass from level to level you must do so on the shoulders of a brother. They must occupy the level that you go beyond. If you share with someone all that you know, that opens room in your own mind to learn anew.

So a teachers goal is not to be needed, to transmit the information successfully to the student.

We never proceed alone, we always choose with a guide.