People, friends, I'm in very serious trouble.

First of all, I know this is not the correct sub-forum to write a post like this, but I know you guys best since I post almost exclusively here.

Second, the night before last I snorted 9 Ritalin ER pills after using the handy-dandy pill crusher, and when I started getting tired, already with a compromised set of judgment skills, I bombed 276mg of M1: Then something very weird happened, when it hit, I started talking gibberish, thankfully in the presence of trusted company who doesn't judge, but weirder still, the M1 lasted all of 1 hr. & 15 min. & I can barely recall a single detail of the experience. This has never happened before (& I've done the methylphenidate/M1 combo before, even staggered).

Well, here's the deal. I've kept this to myself to keep psychologically intact up until now.

A few weeks ago, I found out a pain specialist I went to see wrote a damning report on me, not stating I was a drug seeker, but lying about virtually everything & affirming that I was basically a-ok. About a week later, I had an MRI done on my cervical, thoracic, & lumbar which turned up somewhat inconclusive results (it showed some damage from my car accident, but not much, which points to my chronic pain being a nerve thing which an MRI wouldn't pick up). These two together, the report & the MRI, forced my doc's hand to cut me off from my morphine, Soma, & Dilaudid. I'm only coherent now because a friend gave me a fentanyl patch (75ug/hr) & three 10mg Vicodins (as opposed to 1/2 hr. ago when I shitting my guts out and shivering in a warm room while shaking like a leaf, typical withdrawal).

The truth is, I have very serious chronic pain & have been both cut off & refused treatment where I live. Shit, if the town wasn't so small I'd just spend a fortune on a new heroin habit, but I can't.

Before I go on, I want to apologize if the post wrote yesterday made no sense, broke rules, or meandered as that was written during the comedown from the M1.

I know the cause of the weird M1 reaction is tied to my withdrawal somehow, obviously I can't prove it, but no other factor seems to play into it nor make sense.

Well here's the deal. I'm off to a bigger city today to check into an ER & see if they'll check me in & treat me & hopefully give me referrals. I have low expectations where that's concerned.

I'm in real trouble, I've been heavily medicated on big pharma's dope given to me by doctors for seven years & now suddenly cut off in a remote part of the US.

I don't know what to do. I am out of sensible options & want to live through this but WILL NOT check into a rehab, been there, done that, they take away all my drugs, which makes my problems worse, & then I'm contending with benzodiazapine withdrawal plus opiate withdrawal, and I have legit anxiety issues & pain issues.

How shall I word this, if a little birdie knows of a little birdie that knows of an online pharmacy that sells Oxy's, Vic's, & Soma without the need for any prescription, I would not be averse to any suggestions. I hope that that wording works around the forum's rules & that if it does not, that at the very least people can turn a blind eye to it &/or let it pass out of sheer mercy.

I might die. These are facts. Withdrawal can kill, especially when the hypertension gets out of control. I don't want that.

Wish me luck & though I'm not religious, hell, pray for me if need be that I survive this & get back on track with the meds I desperately need.

You doubtfully will hear from me for a time if I get admitted to the hospital, & especially if the withdrawal takes my life. So this may be my last post (sorry if that sounds melodramatic, but it's simply the truth).

Anyway, I'm hoping for the best & just maybe will get the help I need. If not, that's life & it sometimes sucks.

The moral of my story is to never, ever get into a car with a drunk driver at the wheel. It ruined my fucking life until I finally got the proper medical treatment for my PTSD & chronic pain.

With all sincerity, I hope that I'm back on the forums with tales of my crazy forays in no time & back on track with the right meds for my condition.

Much love to you all,

cosmoknot

 

I hope the ER will help you out cosmoknot. That sounds pretty fucking scary...

 

Good luck finding some way to get what you need, man. We hope to see you back online soon

 

ER is not your best option. You're likely to get better help from a big-time pain clinic run by a neurologist - check major medical centers and uni hospitals. Also worthwhile to ask previous doctor for referral for 2nd opinion. You probably need to be somewhere like the SF Bay area, Seattle, Boston, and so on. Realistically, an ongoing supply of strong opioids isn't a likely outcome no matter where you go. And if the problem is nerve pain, then the drugs you've mentioned aren't going to do the job alone anyway (need carbamazepine or related meds). Serious trouble indeed. I wish you well, as I'm sure almost everyone else here does.

 

good luck man!

 

Rough times.. good luck and good vibes to you... hope everything works out for the best very soon..

 

maybe you should just clean up... i willing to bet right now 95% of the pain you are dealing with is withdrawal related.. like another said.. the PK's aren't gonna help with your pain if its nerve related.. your pain is only a scape goat for your pill addiction...

sympathy for an addict is like sympathy towards a child that cries because it can't have something.. grow up

 

Good news! Opiate withdrawals can't kill you. Benzos and alcohol can, but for opiates you're just going to be in hell for a couple of weeks and then you'll be good.

 

Purchase Kratom if its that serious and no other options are available.

Good luck!

 

you may want to try acupuncture for both the pain and the withdrawl

 

Its going to be tough getting meds from a pain doc with just a messed up spine in the MRI. Something like 75% of backs look messed up with an MRI. Unless you have some major damage, an inclusive MRI doesn't mean much. If you are young (under 30), you will have an even harder time finding a doc.

Docs are cutting patients everyday for pretty much no reason. They are being pressured by the state and DEA. My uncle is a PM doc, and he constantly gets 'suggested guides' about prescribing meds from the DEA.

Your best bet is go around until you find a croaker. Once you find a croaker, be prepared to lose him at any point since he will probably get busted. This just happened to a doc down the street from me

Their are online pharms that sale oxy and hydro, but they are highly expensive. Something like 300 for 30 vic 10s. Most of them are scams anyway. There are a good number of online pharms that will sale Soma, Xanax, kpin, valium, ambien, steroids that are legit and decently priced.

Maybe you should consider suboxone



Im not sure what M1 is??

 

no sympathy from me

the abusers are the ones who cause so much trouble for the people who actually need the stuff

and stay the fuck out of my ER ...that place is for emergencies and people who need help..its not a place for you to go beg for more shit to snort

 

Yeah, can't say I have sympathy for you because you ran out of drugs. Being an addict sucks in itself but running out sucks more. Wait two weeks til you're through the withdrawals. I'm willing to bet most of the pain goes away. If not then I would go seek help.

 

"Medical marijuana? First lets start you off on the medical chunky monkey ice cream with Dorito chips..." teehee :hat:

 

People.....we don't know all the facts. cosmoknot may have legitimate problems with pain and anxiety, with or without withdrawals. Sometimes, when that's the case, you have no control over tolerance, which can easily lead to addiction, even when taking meds as prescribed. All you guys are doing right now is talking shit without knowing all of the facts, so shut the fuck up.

 

yep...people with legit medical problems snort their ritalin

they also "bomb" their M1 for the "experience"

 

He's mainly taling about opiate and benzodiazepine withdrawals. Re-read, homeslice.

 

no thanks..i wasted enough time reading it the first time

(I may hold a biased opinion due to my own experiences)

 

my chronic back pain makes me a bitch sometimes

 

Perhaps It Does, But To Your Credit, Your Are In Essence, A %100 Truthful Bitch...:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.