me bitching about my brother and mysoginy

three woman in a house and one male.. my brother is one misogynistic sob to have come from a family like that. constantly he rants about how "woman need to learn their place" and about "how superior men clearly are" and im getting sick of it. the little bastard is only 16! the other day we got in an arguement about the most stupidest thing, and now my whole side of the face is puffy and blue with a purple thing under my eye, its disgusting how he treats women, he treats my mom like maid , my sister like a servent, and me like a bank. it's a sad mixture of c.a.s. (childrens aide society) , and a very leanient mother. cas says you cant dicipline a kid (pretty much) and this has led my mum to believe its all bad, so the lil fucker, does what he wants, gets what he wants, and on top of it all actually gets treated with respect. i feel trapped in this spiral of shit... no one can do anything except my mum but my mum doesn't see the problem, if i show her the problem, the lil psychopath turns the whole thing around to make it look like im stirring up shit. i can't talk to anyone outside the family because really what can they do? take him away lol, thats solves nothing, only hurts my mum for taking away "her baby". i really don't know what to do about this and lately ive been thinking about killing myself. i know it sounds like "oh nevrmind shes a lunatic" but really this is getting me depressed. it's like... why do i want to even get up in the morning? and i actually have no reason, humans in general are already viruses and cancers, but we already treat everything else like shit why do we have to treat eachother like shit? i just find small pockets of good things that keep me content enough until life happens. i know this should really be under the whiners section but this thing turned out different than i planned, when i first started typing it was going to just be a post about the physical advantage men have over women and their manipulation of that, but i ended up writing some personal stuff... thats not going to be so personal anymore, meh oh well. in conclusion, my brothers a dick, and it sucks to be me right now because i feel trapped in a shit-nay-doe.

 

Just kick your brother square in the balls. He'll wish he was a woman then.

 

I like this advice

 

i concur

 

Aside from OP's hot mess of disfunction mentioned above....

It's kind of hard to ignore the possibilty that some of his behavior may be due to the fact that he's a 16 year old dude living with 3 women. That alone is enough to drive anyone with a penis off the deep end. Doesn't excuse his bullshit in the least but it's probably a contributing factor.

Tell him to fuck off, give him some space and a bottle of lotion. Try not to air out all the female drama while he's in the room.

He'll be fine.

 

i dont like to hear the suicide shit.... ...with the cas you have to write everything down..every time he is a dick,make a note...show it to his worker after a month....why are you still there if it is so bad?

 

I'm sorry homegirl. I grew up in an abusive family, and had to leave home at 15.

I promise you, your brothers a coward who doesn't know how to be a man.

As I see it you have three options.

1: Educate him:

Grab a baton (any strong sturdy stick like object will do) and hit him in the balls with it, and again in the face. When he Curls up yell at him that he's a coward, and if he ever takes advantage of his mother, you, or his other sister again, you will end him.

Immediately call the police after you hit him, and tell them exactly what you've said in this thread. You'll have committed assault and he'll have committed domestic abuse/assault.

It doesn't matter what your mother says, this will get CAS involved.

2. Leave:

I left home at 15 because it was the only safe option for me. In you circumstances, you have another sister to look after, so maybe this isn't the best option for you.

3: Continue life as it is.

This is an option, but don't let it be. You don't have to be a victim, and if you stick up for yourself now, you won't be.

Theres probably a fourth option; Better than the one's I've presented you with. But I don't know what that is our the idiosyncrasies of Child protection laws in Canada.

But I do know your brothers a coward, and if you do follow through with #1, he won't simply fear you. He's young enough to learn from his cowardice, and perhaps become a better person because of it.

 

He's hitting women,

He won't be 'fine' with a little bit of stroking it.

 

You'll come to realise the scariest part of it all is working out why your mum not only puts up with it, but encourages it


In the here and now, in the short term, it might not make sense. But in the long term its a lot easier to control them if they are always too angry to think clearly.

You describe him as a little shit, say he treats you like a bank, so why do you give him money?..........because you are training him to be dependant on you, and he will continue to do so in the future, rather than growing a brain, being self reliant and riding off into the sunset

 

maybe you shouldn't talk back to your brother

 

I think the word you're looking for is misogyny.

But seriously I'd pick up the little prick by his neck with one hand and squeeze until he cried like a schoolgirl - oooopps :blush5: - sorry


hotwater

 

This has escalated to physical abuse, you need to call the police and have him charged with assault.

Siblings do bicker but they do not have the right to physically assault each other.

I am terribly sorry that you are dealing with that situation and that because your mother will not step up and be a parent and deal with him, you will need to.

NO one has the right to hit you. Do not allow anyone to do so.

Calling the police will make it clear to him and the others in your house that it is the last time that he does it as most bullies are cowards and arrest tends to level the field for a 16 year old.

 

Sorry that this is happening.

here are some resources you might want to check out

National Domestic Violence Hotline
24 hour hotline phone: 800.799.SAFE (800.799.7233)
www.thehotline.org


www.befrienders.org for a list of suicide hotlines

www.suicideforum.com for on-line discussion of suicide issues

As heat mentioned, you can call the police. some time in jail might be good for him

please don't do anything to hurt yourself!

if the stuff above doesn't work, please keep posting, we may be able to help

 

Heat's advice is that 4th option that's better than mine.

 

you're all right, but a big part of the problem is that i love him too, and i can't ruin his life by calling cops, with the money thing he just takes the money then tells me later... it's not like im loaning it to him, in all writing it all out helped more than anything but your comments also helped lot's. i know it sounds a bit retarded but im glad that there are people out there who can show some sort of emotion about this despite not actually knowing me. i love you all, thanks for hearing out my bitchy rant my brother might be moving out soon to go to alberta i just found out, so i just have to wait for summer .... i love you all so much

 

hey, I'm glad this helped

even if you don't want to call the cops, the domestic violence hotline could have some good info. I think it is all confidential.

 

find a chill spot in the mean thime, and just chill man, relax and shit, : )

 

So what you are saying here is "he hits me, but I love him, so it's ok."

Not calling the cops won't help him, because he is just going to beat up his future girlfriends. That sort of abuse isn't just a one-time thing.

 

^
must agree


If he punched you in the eye, doesn't seem like a one-time thing. Good chance that he'll do it to you again, and to future girl friends.

 

I agree,

Because you love him, his physical abuse isn't okay. Calling the police isn't just a matter of protecting yourself, or revenge, it's also hopefully an attempt to teach him an important lesson.

He's young and he can probably learn. If he doesn't learn now, than the cycle of abuse will likely to be repeated with the people in his future life.

Consider calling the police not only a means to protect yourself, but an act of love for your brother to try and let him learn of the consequences of his actions.

Maybe if he's a good person deep down, a night or two in jail will help him reflect on the way he treats the important people in his life.