Just lost my virginity, and I could use some advice.

It didn't go so well. I lost it to my girlfriend, not just some random girl, but I was still so nervous I had trouble keeping it up. Is that normal? That has literally never happened to me before, usually I get a boner when the wind changes, but I had a ton of trouble tonight. And one of the problems was that it didn't feel nearly as good as I thought it would. Obviously since this is the only girl I've had sex with, I have nothing to compare it to, but it was like I could barely feel anything. Although when she gave me head, it was actually the same way, so does anyone know if my nervousness could have caused this? I know for a fact that my dick isn't partially numb or anything like that, because I can honestly say that just masturbating felt better than the sex we had. And I don't think the problem is her vagina, she's 20 and has only slept with one other guy. But for whatever reason, when she gave me head and when we had sex, one of the reasons it was hard to keep it up was because it just didn't feel like much. Or maybe it was just because I had so many expectations, and it was pretty disappointing, I really don't know. Eventually I did manage to keep it up, and I managed to cum, but it wasn't exactly a romantic night.

If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated. She kept telling me it was okay, but I could tell she was disappointed, and it broke my heart. But at least I managed to make her cum by giving her head.

 

Any possibility you are masturbating too much? I mean, sometimes when you get very used to being touched (not only sexually, but with other things too) it just doesn't feel quite as exciting. Maybe take a little break if possible or set limits for yourself on how much you can do it. Then your dick will be begging for some loving and a lady will do just the trick. Just remember, you're hand and your dick have been well acquainted all your life, and especially since puberty. You have learned exactly what makes it feel best. This girl is not nearly as acquainted with math body parts as you are. Keep trying. Don't be afraid to give suggestions. Maybe not like "hey sweety, member what we did last night, well you need to step up your game" but more along the lines of "oh that feels good, keep doing that" or just guiding her body to do what feels good. I suppose this will take some experimenting, which could be fun

 

I agree that it could be from too much lone stimulation.

But it coulda just been nerves

 

Depending on how you felt about the entire situation it could just have been your body dealing with a very emotional and stressful situation. Even if you are unaware, stressors manifest themselves in many ways. The more you think about it, the harder it is to keep up.

As for not feeling as good as you expected it too. Maybe you are expecting to much, maybe you need to focus less on your cock and more on the entire amazing energy of sex, or maybe you gay, who knows.

 

Anybody who describes their first time as "Magical" is full of shit. It sounds like 2 highly inexperienced people going at it so it doesn't necessarily sound like anything is wrong.

So blowjobs and sex don't feel like jerking off. Surprise, surprise, surprise. I didn't shoot my load the first time either. That is standard. You've probably spent the last 10 years or so getting used to one kid of stimulation i.e. your hand and then you had 2 new types of stimulation and weren't used to it. You probably aren't jerking off too much you are just an inexperienced lover dealing with an inexperienced lover. It will get better.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Mine was magical cause of who it was with, how well we handled our trouble and whatnot; but it was definitely the worst sex I've ever had =P

 

What he said ^^^

My first time was crap, my girlfriend got off and I didn't. I didn't feel much either, could've been the condom, I don't know.

Also yea, too much masturbation can cause one to become accustomed to a certain stimulation, it can even cause your dick to become numb from time to time, which makes it difficult to get or maintain an erection. Maybe cool the self love for a little while.

 

This is all normal--sounds like nerves to me. It may take a few tries before you both get into the sync of things.

 

Thanks so much guys, I feel a ton better . That jerking off thing is really interesting, now that I think about it it makes a lot of sense (especially since a lot of times I jerk off multiple times a day, I actually have a pretty high sex drive). I think I'll cool it for a week or so, then start practicing as much as possible with her.

Thanks again everyone!

 

Have you looked around for it?

 

I think he said his girlfriend took it. At least he knows where to find it.

 

My first time was the most magical 3 seconds I've ever had!! Don't fret--just practice doing a lot of foreplay before you get to the nitty gritties.

 

Nerves are a hell of a thing bud. The more you're with her the more comfortable you'll be in that situation. Don't fret.

 

she know u were a virgin? if she does, then she should be really cool with u takin it one step at a time. she might even get into the idea of her bein the one to get u better at it.

 

Haha, this sounded just like me. Thought it was written by me. First time, didn't get it up when I wanted to, actually got it up for a while but the girl was paranoid, then after to go again, i couldn't get it up and that night i went home, i tried to masturbate and couldn't get it up, thought something was seriously wrong with me.

Well, times have changed. I do get soft easily but can get it up now but not so fast all the time, some might take longer than some. I gotta thank my girl though, never put any burden on me with it and didn't express any sort of anger or disappointment. Her only worry was that she thought she wasn't a turn on for me, told her it wasn't that.

Yeah, in conclusion, nerves and niaveness is ah helluva thing.

 

Yeah the first time is never as you'd expect it.

Don't read too much into it...its always awkward, things usually stop working, and it never feels as good as you'd expect it to.

Keep at it and it'll start to feel a lot better

 

I posted this about a month ago, and if anyone cares, your advice helped a lot. Things are a lot better now, I don't have trouble getting an erection and it's starting to feel better and better each time. Now I just need to work on lasting longer than 3 minutes and I'll be good :tongue:

 

I'm still working on that one myself.

Cheers, bro, and thanks for the update

 

U never did it before what did u expect to be like peter north right out of the gate? Now that u know what it’s like what it’s all about u will do better next time. U should do it again in the next few days.

 

Kegals work wonders, and finding a good condom.