Xanax, a gift from heaven, or curse from hell?

I'm starting this thread to discuss Xanax, and how people feel about it. I have severe ADD (for which I am perscribed Concerta 54mg's daily). I also have EXTREMELY bad anxiety, and deppression which varies from extreme, to almost non-existant. I am currently perscribed 2mgs of Xanax Xr daily formy anxiety and insomnia. I first tried Xanax about a year ago actually. A close friend and I were getting into recreationally using Rx drugs. In terms of Rx drugs, at that point I only had used (a lot) of oxycodone (5/500's), smaller doses of hydrocodone (5/500's) (also on a side note, we mainly snorted the hydro's, and I took like 30mgs once, which for those of you that dont know is pretty much th. BARE minimum recreational dose <<unpotentiated>>). aside from opiates, I had done ritilan and concerta a few times, and I (not my friend) had used the muscle relaxant clonazopam a few times. I think that's it for Rx drugs, and the only conventional drugs I had used at this point *(this is kind of shocking to me actually) were marijuana, and alcohol. I think my friend was starting to develope his addiction to valium at this point, but that could have been later in the year. Anyway, I always loved alcohol where my friend did not. I think it had something to do with the taste for him, but that never bothered me. In fact, one time after smoking, I was using mouthwash and actually FORGOT it was in my mouth, I went to my room and only realized I had it in my mouth when I tried to drink some water. For those of you who have used listerene before, you know how fucked up that is that I didn't feel the burn, especially at such a young age. Anyway, I loved (and still do love) weed, but I couldn't help but notice that I didn't like it near as much as some of my friends. I would get extremely paranoid sometimes, and smoking to this day makes me feel somewhat anxious. Back to the point tho. This kid me and my friend knew had a grandma who apparantly didn't use some of her perscriptions, or at least didn't notice any missing. Now I feel bad about doing this, ashamed in fact, but at the time I was all but suicidal, I didn't care. This kid, we'll call him Roy, would bring us oxycodone for barely anything. He probably gave us at least 100mgs total. One day Roy came up to my friend and I, and said, "I couldn't get any more oxy, but I found some alpra-, alprazo-"
"Alprazolam?!" my friend was quick to realize what it was. He took it and we walked into a bathroom to look at it. I had no idea what alprazolam was, I told him that I had never heard of it before. "Oh yes you have, this is fucking XANAX man!!" Of course I immediatly recognized THAT name. I had just been introduced to Eminem that year, and the Relapse album was all but my gosple. I listened to it constantly, and I identified with almost all of it. I've had aweful issues with my mom, I was currently abusing perscription drugs just to pull through. I felt like a maniac, and songs like "Insane", "Bagpipes from Baghdad", "Same Song and Dance", "Hello", and of course "My Darling" reflected the insanity that Imyself felt. I was suffering from horrible insomnia as well, which if any of you have experianced this, you know that the nights filled with half-sleep, and the identical days that highschool is infamous for turn your life into a warped, twisted reality. Everything blends together, and since you don't sleep, it's like one long day. Anyway, as soon as I heard the word "Xanax", I said,
"Fuck yeah, give me half." I ended up getting about 3.5mgs in .25mg tablets. I didn't have any classes with my friend until lunch, and then chemistry at the end of the day, so I decided to drop them periodically throughout the day. After taking just one right before first hour, I was already feeling amazing. It was like all my problems, all my cares and worries just dissappeared into a tranquil sea of calm. Everythig was alright. I kept takig them, about one every period, but at some point, I must have just eaten a bunch at once, because after lunch, the only class I remember was chemistry. This was the most powerful experiance with drugs that I had had at this point, and I knew that this was nowhere near the last time that I would take Xanax.

 

It can be both, taken as prescribed it can be a blessing. If you choose to abuse it, when you run out, which will happen at some point, you will go thru hell and then some. I hate to sound like some kind of asshole but JUST SAY NO!

 

I went on using it occasionally, whenever I could find it really. Just to clarify, I am not, and was never addicted to it, physically or mentally. I never took it every day, and even now only take it once or twice a week. I continued buying it for awhile, until one day, I asked a known "boof" at my schoo if he could get any, and he said, "Ive got all I need, I'm perscribed it." From then on, I decided that I needed to get this wonderful drug perscribedd myself. Around this time, I was caught smoking weed by my parents, and I explained that I only started because of my insomnia issues. I said that I needed help, and asked if I could see a psychiatrist. A week later, I was on lexapro. Of course, no doctor is going to perscribe a teenager Xanax, at least not right away. I definatly was leading him to give me that particular drug, but to be honest, I went through everything else, to no avail (everything either just didn't work, or gave me horrible side-effects, as severe as hallucinations). Exentually, I convinced my mom that I needed relief NOW, and couldn't keep waiting for stuff to start working. I started off on .25mgs of alprazolam in the morning, and the same at night. Obviously, this was nowhere near enough to satisfy my needs. As most of you know, Xanax is not meant for long term treatment, and I would save it up, and take a recreational dose (2mg+) once or twice a week, or if my anxiety or insomnia was especially bad. Eventually I managed to bump my dose to 2mg Xr a day, so I have plentiful ammounts now. I still only take it recreationally once or twice a week, iras needed, although when I take it once or twice a week recreationally, I find that I rarely need it beyond that. I actually think that occasional recreational dosages have done more than anything (save a few religious experiances on both mushrooms and LSD, I won't talk about that now tho). I've since experimented with Xanax quite extensivly, and like it the best with muscle relaxants, or opiates. I've also pushed my doses quite high, but prefer to take 8mgs uncrushed, which is the equivlent of 4mgs that lasts for 12 hours. Does anyone have any thoughts on my story? Anyone have any stories of their own? How it has either helped, or hurt you, or whatever. I'm just intrested in your thoughts and opinions on my story, and this drug.

*for those of you who noticed the astrisk in my first post, that's coming soon, I'm going to give you a list of all the drugs I've done SINCE then, and I might even start a new thread for that. Thank you all for your time, and much love.

 

I personally find it to be a net negative substance. As a person with severe mental illness (Bipolar, Schizoaffective, Anxiety Disorder), I was given benzos to help my crippling anxiety. Unfortunately, tolerance built up quick to the point where they were useless. I actually find the SNRI Effexor to be more effective than benzos. Unfortunately, to this day, I still have to take 1mg of Klonopin every day to ward off physical withdrawal!!

 

Damn bro, that's aweful. Personally, I really have never had any addictions. The closest thing I've had to an addiction, was when I bought a gram of jwh-018 after a nasty breakup. It was more cumpulsive re-dosing than an addiction, because I was high for a month and a half straight. I almost lost all my friends, even now we're nowhere near as closeas we used to be. In fact, I'm not really close to anybody which I'm realizing more and more. I dunno, something has to change, I need somebody, otherwise I'm terrified of what might happen. I doubt even Xanax can save me this time. I'm about to dose 4mgs tho I think. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood soon/:

 

Xanax is the only recreational drug I have ever been physically addicted to, and it only took 4 days to become physically addicted. On the fourth day, I ran out of xanax and was withdrawing so bad that I was hallucinating and having EXTREME anxiety. Not pleasant at all.

I hate xanax. Still.....I love it.

 

That sucks man, I feel for you. I've done most drugs out there, and I've only had problems with 2 of them. JWH-018 was one, I bought a gram of the pure chemical and was high literaly for a month straight. I've got a threadwoth the details about that up if you care to know more. That was more of a coping issue than a drug problem tho. I experianced some huge emotional trauma, and had 100mgs of something that could get me high with 10mgs. There was no reason to be sober, although I don't miss it at all. The only other drug I've had a problem with is DXM... I stole anywhere from 1 to 3 bottles of cough gels a day for a solid 2-3 weeks. From the same store. Then, when I decided to hit a diffrent store, I got arrested for trying to steal delsym. I coulda got out if I had the will, but I think part of me just gave up on it all. In terms of Xanax, I experianced emotional withdrawls once after the first time I took 8mgs uncrushed for a car ride home from Michigan. I was caught drinking there, so I was already in a bad mood, but when I was coming down, I felt like I wanted to kill myself. That's the only time this has happened, I've had no further problems with it.

 

i love xanax. i've been using it for ca 4 years now. on and off, not every month. sometimes i've had a 4-6-month breaks, then i've been tripping again for ca 1-2 months straight. i don't understand how you can develop an addiction on it (not that i think addiction even exists), i've always been able to stop immediately. not that i want to stop, but with college and work i sometimes need to be in a less foggy state of mind. the highest dose i've gone up to is 4mg though. my body weight is quite low too so already 4mg has quite an intense effect on me. but i think i wanna try that 8-9mg at some point. all in all--a great substance.

also---would love to read that thread about how you were high for a month straight. link?

 

:rofl:

Try taking 20-30mg of xanax everyday until you can't get anymore, then get back to me.

 

Yeah, my guess is that something like that would be pretty rough, if not fatal. Benzo's and alcohol are the only two substances that have a physical withdrawl that can kill you, as well as a horrible emotional withdrawl. Addiction definatly exists in both physical and emotional states, and is where you need more of a substance to avoid withdrawl symptoms.

I've taken like, 10mgs (maaaybe more?) crushed XR tabs, before, but I won't go past that without some kind of tolerance. When I normally take 8mgs, they are the XR (extended release) 1mg tablets. They act like regular bars when you crush or chew them (YUK!), but if you don't crush them, they are half the strength for 12 hours. So taking 8mgs uncrushed is like being on 4mgs allllll day. I wouldn't recomend just taking 8mgs ir (insant release) unless you've got a tolerance. Instead just take like, 1-2mgs every hour (or two actually) and that should be the equivilent.

I'll be back with a link for you, I was high on JWH-018 by the way, some people wouldn't call that a high, but you'll understand once you read it. Again, it's another brick of text, I'm sorry in advance about that.

 

Here's the link for you. It was not a good experiance at all, and it fucked my life up quite a bit. At least I learned something though haha. Also, ignore how whiney it gets in some parts, I was NOT having a good day yesterday and I felt a little bitchey lol.

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=419643&f=126

 

yes withdrawal effects definitely exist. tolerance exists. i never argued that there are no physiological effects upon quitting a drug. i meant the addiction that the DEA and media portray. that one doesn't exist.

30mg of xanax--lol. why would i need that much all at once.

i've done H for weeks on end and quit in a day. it was a bitch but it had to happen. i had no problem not doing it anymore. and i didn't quit because i ran out of money either. i'd just had my time with it and moved on. and some day i'll do it all over again

 

What do you mean by this? You say you know withdrawal exists, and I'm guessing you know compulsive abuse exists, so how can you not believe addiction exists? That's just retarded.

I don't NEED 30mg of xanax either, but that's never stopped me from taking 30mg or more at a time, because I had been psychologically addicted to xanax for a long time. I went through 120mg of xanax in 4 days and that alone got me physically addicted. I got 6mg from someone else so I could go to sleep on the fourth day, but that wasn't enough to get the withdrawal symptoms to subside. I was literally hallucinating, and not the good kind of hallucinations. I literally didn't know I was hallucinating. I was also having insane body tremors and I never made it to sleep that night. Luckily, that's the only time I've ever gotten physically addicted to xanax. I thought it would never happen, as much xanax as I've taken over the years, but it happened.

 

there horrible, they make you black out, enough said!! there stuipd..


peace.

 

sry i'm kinda lazy and not so articulate with words anyway to express exactly what i mean. other people are better at this than i am so here is one guy i completely agree with:

http://www.amazon.com/Myth-Addiction-John-Booth-Davies/dp/9057022370/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296856289&sr=1-1"]Amazon.com: Myth of Addiction: Second Edition (9789057022371): John Booth Davies: Books


and here's a page where you can read a few chapters for free:

http://www.druglibrary.org/special/davies/myth_of_addiction.htm

this isn't a religion that you can talk about believing or not believing. it's got nothing to do with that.

 

I just read some of that. I agree with some of it, but only concerning SOME drugs, like weed and other drugs that aren't physically addictive. True physical addiction, especially when combined with psychological addiction, can be a very powerful thing. Some people really do HAVE to have the drugs they're addicted to. Severe benzo addiction, for example, can actually cause lethal withdrawal symptoms. People can actually die from stopping cold-turkey.

 

I skimmed through a little bit of this, perhaps posting some excerpts that you find particularly notable may help me but you really don't think addiction exists ?

There is a short term withdrawal , this I know for sure, that usually leads to addictive use which we generally call moreish or compulsive drugs. Pretty much all drugs that are heavily concentrated on effecting dopamine pathways commonly cause this effect. (Crystal Meth, MDPV, Mephedrone, Cocaine)

I would say longer term addiction drugs exist too where you can abstain for awhile but it looms in the back of your mind. (Alcohol, Heroin, Ketamine, Xanax, Nicotine) are probably more like these type of drugs. A few of them can be both and there are many others not on the list.

I'm guessing that article makes some claims chalking up addiction to be largely influenced by 'societal' factors and shit but nothing societal about staying up on crystal meth for 3 days in a row and not eating.

 

Some people also just don't seem to get addicted to shit. I certianly do plenty of hard, addictive drugs, but the only times I've had serious drug issues is when Itake them as an escape... Make sense?

 

When i was younger i use to enjoy smoking, but now it gives me anxiety. I am wondering if xanax would help that? Anybody have a story along those lines? How is is when smoking?

 

Im in the same boat with smoking pot & suffering anxiety these days, firstly i feel that is due to lack of tolerance.... When you were younger did you smoke vast amounts of pot then have a break for a while? Caus yeah thats my story i had a long break from smoking weed then when i went back to it the first day of smoking gives me quite bad anxiety etc but i do find after a few days in a row of smoking that horrible anxiety feeling is no longer present.

The benzodiazepine class of drugs (xanax, valium etc) should stop that anxiety you do get while smoking pot but just remember it will knock you on your ass a lot harder when combining the two drugs, i recommend using something like valium more so than xanax as vals are a bit weaker and less sedating.


As for xanax being a gift or a curse that is all really in the hands of the user i suffer from anxiety and panic attacks so benzos work fantastic wonders for me but it is a very double edged blade as i do enjoy abusing them too. Personally i find xanax has far less of an abuse potential compared to weaker ones such as valium or temazapam which i can easily find my self eating like candy blacking out and doing stupid shit only to awake, repeat the same process & lose large chunks of time until my stash runs out. Xanax i can keep a few 2mg bricks laying around and use when need be or abuse as a 2mg brick takes me to where i want combined with a few glasses of alochol but i wont black out or have a craving to eat three or four.