Too picky?

Im starting to wonder if im too picky.. I havent had a girlfriend in about a year and a half. and for my age (18) i dont think thats normal? not that i care to be normal. i like being different. but anyways, its mainly because ive been in love with the same girl for the past 3 years until ive finally gotten over her and back on my feet around christmas. But being picky is part of it too.. Its hard for me to find a girl with everything i like. I mean first of all shes gotta be gorgeous, even though looks arent everything i dont think i could fall in love with someone i didnt absolutely adore. and someone who is sweet and understanding and all that.. idk. Its not that i cant get a girlfriend becuase im a pretty cute guy not to sound cocky or anything, but its just sooooo hard to find a girl i can like. I mean maybe i should just try things with someone i normally wouldnt? or just keep waiting? idk. I just really miss having someone there to cuddle with and all that. Im probably just being dumb and havent found the right person yet but id like to see what people have to say if anyone bothered to read all thisss.. so thanks

 

it doesn't sound like you're abnormal but it does sound like you're more mature than most people your age in that you would like to be with the right person and not just the first girl that comes your way. You should keep being picky, if you date someone just because you feel like you should, you're not only cheating yourself but you're also fucking over the other person and keeping them from being with someone who could really fall in love with them. Keep holding out and being picky, theres nothing wrong with that and when the right girl comes your way it will be well worth the wait!

 

dont listen to anyone who says "just wait and she'll come along"...thats total bullshit..you need to go out and find her before some jerk finds her..trust me on this one

did not read the whole first post though so ignore me if Im off topic

 

It's one or the other pal. You don't get both.

 

lol not all good looking girls are bitches

 

Thanks a lot dude, i really think this is true.. although i do believe you get payed off for waiting, i think that you have to go out and get her. maybe i should be more outgoing and put myself out more then.. like i already do but i mean like just wayyyy more like go up to girls and get numbers at the mall and stuff and try to meet her that way. Because i dont really like anyone from my school or that i have added on facebook.. except for the ones with dbag boyfriends lol

 

half are bitches..and the other half are already married

 

I see no sense in making a priori, abstract decisions. It's all going to depend on the actual women you meet. There are different kinds of relationships, and to me they are not mutually exclusive.

You could do some light cuddling with one girl; later meet another one for whom you fall head over heels for 3 years; or you may simply not meet anyone for a while, etc.

Edit: Myself, I like the idea of picking up chicks at the mall.

 

I think you have answered your own question my man. Sounds like you are bright, and a seemingly nice dude with good intentions and a nice taste in women (the good ones are always taken by some d bag boyfriend arent they??). I am very similar you in the sense I need to put myself out there more. I am the quintessential shy, quiet, nice guy finish last type.

But its that simple. just approach them more, think of them as one of your guy friends instead of that whole pussy pedastal thing ala 40 year old virgin and freak out bc your talking to a girl (easier said than done, no?)

I think its best to have a consistent personality towards everyone, no matter race, age, sex, etc. That way they know who they are getting after the first time. If you are trying to impress a girl on the first date or meeting or whatever, chances are you probably aren't being your true self.

Simply put, just be yourself, and take more iniative. smile a lot, give them compliments but not too many compliments to sound fake. and dont say your sorry for every little thing to show you are respectful and polite. You can show those via other methods : )

Do that, and you'll be fine : ) And remember, practice makes perfect. For everything. The more you get out and approach girls and force yourself in an uncomfortable situation, the better it will make you be at your craft.

 

yep.




don't be picky. only fat loud guys can get away with that. everyone else has to settle for some fat girl, or die a virgin.

 

As long as you have a set of criteria that a woman must meet in your head you'll never find her, she doesn't exist.
Forget the checklist in your head and just meet girls and accept them each as they are, that is the only way you will find someone that will work out long term. As long as you have a list in your head, nobody will ever fill all requirements, and if you do find a nice girl you will try to change her to fit that picture you have in mind and that is a sure fire way to kill a relationship.
Biggest mistake and fallacy in relationships, thinking someone will change or trying to change them. People are who they are and rarely change into who we think they should be.
When it comes to relationships and when you should "get a girlfriend", there is no normal.
Plus your 18, hell you just barely figured out how to use your dick, whats your rush to be in a relationship?

 

haha no rush, i just kinda miss havin a girlfriend ya know? like my ex was like my best friend in the world and like i miss having that in my life. but i think youre right about that checklist thing because me and my ex went together great but in the early stages i did try to change her.. like she wanted tattoos and her lip pierced and can you believe i said if she got a tattoo id break up with her? like i was such a dick back then lol. i think its happened to everybody though then you turn into a good guy and wish you were never an asshole..

although, chicks dig assholes to be honest. the nice guy never gets the girl. thats why i think im not really gonna look for a girl im just gonna go have a good time and by doing that i will meet her :2thumbsup:

 

thanks for the advice man. ill try that. its not really like im shy around girls and such, its more like, idk maybe im not like aggressive enough. like i need them to give me signs that theyre interested ya know? maybe i should just be like i said more outgoing about it and just go for what i want because i think chicks really like when guys do that.

and ive never really had problems picking up women in my life.. its just the RIGHT one.

 

^ word dude

my friends always tell me that i should stop being picky with the girls i hook up with, but i end up hooking up with girls that i really don't give a fuck about.

i'm like you, i don't want to pursue girls that don't interest me in more than one way.

i don't see it as being picky, but having confidence in yourself and looking for a down ass chick.

i haven't had an actual girlfriend in like 4 years dude, at times it's a bit frustrating but i also feel like i have a better grasp and understanding of who I am, moreso than most people my age. knowing and appreciating your self will attract others to you, and if you are true to your self then girls that you dig are gonna just appear in your life. or at least that's what i'm hoping - i've had moderate to fair success

 

exactly dude. if i try to settle for someone it never works out because i cant stay interested and its frustrating because i know ill never fall in love with the person

 

Only dumb chicks that aren't worth dating in the end.

I was always a big fan of just being friendly first, and sorta courting a female for a little while, getting to know her and deciding what kinda relationship you want.
I say, first find a girl that you could have as a friend - not a smoking buddy, not someone to go to parties with, but a legit ass friend - and then see where you wanna take things from there after getting to know her a bit.

It makes no sense the way people date and try to force shit, without even really knowing each other.

People wonder how I'm still in my first relationship after 4 years - cause I actually fucking picked my girlfriend, instead of just dating the first cute chick I saw, you jackasses.



(PS, I prolly would've been one of those jackasses if the first cute chick I saw was hot for me too =P)

 

probably because he just figured out how to use his dick...

 

Some people place way too much emphasis on being in a relationship as a condition of happiness that they make snap decisions based on a sense of desperation and never really get to figure out who they really are let alone what about someone else would make them happy.

Being "picky" will likely increase the odds that when you finally do find that someone that the relationship will last... even if it ultimately becomes a friendship and nothing more.

 

In the end, there's a 60% chance you're gonna fuck yourself over.

Divorce happens in 60% of marriages, marriages where "I've finally met that special someone I wanna spend the rest of my life with, he/she makes my heart soar like an eagle and rain jelly beans from the sky."

 

All his advice is good, but that is the absolute core of it. Learn to be yourself and comfortable with your opinions and choices (if you arent comfortable with them maybe analyse why). Just have a good time and be relaxed, make conversation with anyone and everyone, and remember you wont know if you are really attracted to someone till you actually have a conversation with them.

About the 60% fuck over thing- if you spent years happy is that negated because it didnt last forever? Do you retroactively take away the happiness you had? Of course not. Just find the person who is right for you (at that particular moment of your life) and share some happiness and (life) experiences.