Advice that rings true.....But not soon enough

I am starting this thread because I live with a lot of regret from my youth. I would like to offer advise to others so they may not end up with these bad feelings. There seems to be a terrible cycle within humanity from the time we hit puberty into becoming an adult. We think our parents are square and that they don't know what it's like being us. We would say the classic line "you don't know what it's like to be me" or "things were different when you were a kid". Although this may be some what true it is fundamentally not. They had to deal with the same issues that all people do at this age such as fitting in, self-esteem, authority, etc. When we hear their advise it goes in one ear and out the other. Often they offer analogies of situations that are hard to understand at the time. My father had a lot of these little sayings. My favorite being "A fool can learn from his mistakes, but a wise man can learn from a fool". This means that you can learn from others mistakes and don't have to make them yourself. But the broader meaning would be "Without a knowledge of the past, we would have no knowledge at all. ... One that fails to learn from history is doomed to repeat it". Later in life you look back at these little sayings and punch lines realizing that they make perfect sense. This is where the regret comes in. You may say "why was I so dumb? why didn't I listen?". The answer is simple, we did not value their opinions and thoughts. My fathers saying above tells the whole story. Your parents are our history, they are our fools, they have made mistakes in life and you can learn a lot from them if you ask. An underlying factor to this problem is the illusion of fairness. Kids will often say "it's not fair". I will tell you that there is no such thing. Fair is a word made up by humans to give them comfort. This universe/earth is not fair, never has been and never will be. So get over it.

Anyway I hope that this may help some young people listen to their parents words more carefully. If you feel like posting some of your parents little sayings I would love to hear them. They are often enlightening. Thanks for reading.

 

Thanks for this post!

As an adult, I still butt heads with my father quite a bit. He is sexist, he is racist, and he struggles with addiction. But the "unfairness" of life as a child helped me to grow into what I am today. And I respect him to the utmost for that.

I thank my father for every mistake he has ever made, because I know that I will try my hardest to never repeat them. I love my dad.

My favorite saying from my pops: "You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't." It will always be one of the truest things I have ever heard.

 

Some of the best advice I ever got was from one of my professors in college.

We were on the topic of iPods and he said that instead of listening to music you should listen to lectures and audio books.

I've learned so much because of this advice and all I do is listen to my iPod during my walk to and from work. (about forty minutes per day)

Seriously, this can make a huge difference in your life.

 

I enjoyed this read. Thank you.

 

What you wrote is great advice. The sad thing is most younger people probably will look at it the same way they look at parental advice.

My 2 oldest daughters would agree with you 100%, my third is to the point she might agree, but my youngest daughter is entering her dark years and so with being thru this 3 times already I'll be patient and help where I can and wait for her on the other side, which should be about 3 years from now.

 

Good post:2thumbsup:

Whenever I try to convey the same sentiment as quoted above here in the forums, I get accused of trying to play "the age card" and receive all the "you don't get it" rhetoric from some HF members.
Thank goodness someone else is here to say "yeah, the been there, done that" statement is often true and accurate.
Strangely, I really don't get it from my kids, often they will listen to my ramblings and actually learn from them.

 

I think a persons overall self competence comes through in the examples we present to the world. Some people are almost uniformly regarded as competent and are listened to more closely.

I do not think the discontent of youth is the natural environ of the youthful spirit, but rather a symptom of indigestion from a diet of sour grapes. The obvious hypocrisy between what parents say and the competence actually demonstrated.