My ex boyfriend is now going out with this really disgusting guy. Yes, my ex bf was horrible and hurt me in every way possible, but he's still just this really confused, abused person underneath, and I don't want him to get hurt. That being said, it pleases me that my ex bf looks horrible these days and has gained weight, and a part of me thinks that my ex is getting just what he deserves b/c this guy is hitting on other people and is really gross in general...just like my ex was in our relationship, but I don't want to see the abuse of him get out of hand. Hmmm... meh. When a relationship ends, it's normal to still have feelings for someone, but is this the case with an abusive relationship? Should I still try to reach out to my ex bf to get him into therapy? What would you do in this situation?
depends on factors i don't know. more than likely, i would move on and let him do whatever he's going to do on his own. i don't know enough about your situation to completely endorse that advice though.
Yup. Typically, even more so. It's his life, but if by reach out to get him into therapy you mean, "Hey, you should really look into therapy" - I guess... That doesn't matter. But it doesn't sound like you are over this guy, and therefore I feel that you should avoid contact and involvement in his life.
no, there is nothing wrong with caring but i don't see how you could help this ex of yours without risking further mental injury to yourself... just bcos you care, doesn't mean you have to do something about it for him... that's his job.... your job is to care about you... if you get involved, there will likely be drama and that won't do you any good at all... you need to let go and move on from this guy...
Don't get youself involved in a way you don't feel comfortable with, or in a way that hinders your ability to move on. Unless you do truly hate him, it's not wrong to care about a person, regardless of their previous relationship status with you, and it's not wrong to help him out of it. Just don't get sucked in while doing so.
Thanks everyone. I think that I'm going to wait and see. If things appear to be out of his control, I'm definitely going to try to step in, but otherwise, yeah, it still affects me too much to get involved. See, he'll always be the first guy I was ever with, and so it's not like he'll ever really be nothing to me. Which sucks because he can be so cruel. Oh well.
respect your decision... just be careful that you don't get accustomed to "victim" mentality... wish you all the best...
