Problem, any help/opinions welcome =)

Well basically my problem is that my girlfriend and I seem to be in different place's, she wants to party a lot and go out and I don't. I'm 19 and she's 17.


She's most definitely more extrovert than I am. The real thing that bugs me is that she tells me about these guys she meets and how they're pervy. For example she went to a party and loads of guys where hitting on her and whatnot which is normal, she's attractive and I know girls like the attention, I have no problem with that. It's just that at this party her friend gave her a love bite (she's female) and she gave her one back being pretty drunk (she's not bi) then this guy 'John' said he'd never had one so her and her friend gave him one each, I’m not sure what to think about that.


John was hitting on my girlfriend hard saying she has to best bum he's ever seen and he wants to fuck her and that I'm lucky to be her boyfriend and that'd he'd be there if we split up. I really just didn't need to know that, but not only that she said she would meet up with him as long as he knows she isn't going to cheat.


Thing is she's partly to blame, but when I bring it up I don't want to make her feel bad for it but she was even letting guys touch her bum, she said she didn't encourage it but it doesn't exactly sound like she stopped it (i wasn't at the party) and I feel like she just doesn't care or isn't serious about our relationship.


My question is, can a girl act this way and still be serious about the relationship but just have a different view on commitment. I mean she even added him on facebook. I'm just not sure whether this is previous trust issues from my last relationship spilling over into this one or whether this girl is just not to be trusted. We've only been going out for a three mouths and a bit and this is the first time she's really done anything like this. She says she'd never cheat and she won't even dance with guys in a sexual way (like grinding and such). Also she's going to another party tomorrow, knowing that she won't see me for another week because of it, of course that's fine because she should have time for herself but we usually see each other twice or once a week. She says I miss you, but I just don't feel like she means it.


What do you guys think, opinions would be greatly appreciated =)

 

Dude, she's still a kid. She loves the attention. Whether or not she "slips" and lets another guy bang her, who knows.

 

Yeah doesnt seem that u 2 are on the same page at all.. and that whole love bite bit sounds a little sketchy to me. Best of luck tho

 

If you want the honest answer from something who has been there.. I personally think it's sounding like trouble. I am sorry to say it like this but it seems like the others have already said it and you two just aren't on the same page I know you don't want to hurt her but its just not right.. I mean it may work for certain couples but most of those that I know are in open relationships haha.

It takes two to tango and she was wrong to even give this dude a chance to intensely flirt with her in that manner. If you are willing to actually hear those things and go along with them without stepping in for herself then it seems like she wants the attention and from my past experiences it won't stop there. It sounds like she has some growing up to do (i mean god she is only 17 haha) and even though i can't make guarantees that anything will happen, most at that age will just crave the attention more and more until you are left behind heart broken.

 

she sounds like an insecure high school girl. don't marry her or anything, but you can still have some fun with her while it lasts.

 

Well, you guys are probably right. She was supposed to meet me in the city after the party but she's saying she wants to 'hang out' with her friend for an hour before i come up there. This will be at some ridiculous time in the morning. i told her its contradictory to what she's said before, and i'm not going to sit around waiting for you to phone me. She's only 17 i know, but i thought girls matured faster - only reason i started a relationship in the first place is because i thought i could trust her after being in an unhealthy relationship herself for nearly a year, i thought she'd understand what it a serious relationship is. This is no longer fun for me, I'm seriously considering just breaking up with her and saving any long term hassle.

Thanks for the advice guys, greatly appreciated. Sorry for the rants

 

Juste enjoy the ride as long as it last!
True that girls mostly are faster mature, but it also can be other wau around.

And to be honest you're also still pretty young to have a very serious relationship.
If you would stay together till the age of lets say 80, you would see the same face for another 61 years!!! So juste chill a bit and enjoy of being young! Because onces you are commited to one woman it's really hard work to keep the flame alive for years and years!

 

Yeah, but to be honest dude, i really do care about her. I'm just a bit butt hurt about it, and i know I'm young too, but i guess I'm a romantic at heart.

Your point has made me feel better though, thanks =) sometimes it's hard to keep perspective on things when emotions are involved.

 

Get used to it.

 

Well Im happy that you're feeling better! And yes also get used to it.....Most people have their hearts broken many many times and on the other hand it always hurts over and over again. But thats also a part of life and love

 

Yeah, its just after my last relationship (got cheated on by a close friend) you tend to find it hard to forget, i guess i want something, a security i guess that can't be obtained just anywhere, I've placed to much emotions into something that isn't all that serious. Thanks for the honesty =), i think with a new look on things i should be able to adapt, i mean its only a few mouths after all!

 

Im happy you got some new vision to overcome this

 

physically. girls mature faster physically. as in they grow boobs before guys grow chest hair.

mentally and emotionally, i would say that girls mature slower if there's any difference at all..

 

i gotta say it... as a man you cant find security in women. if you try, you'll lose yourself.
secutity is somthing you need to bring to the relationship, not take from it. you'll never find a women who can respect you if you need her in this way.

 

Hey, man; you don't wanna be playing Raging Bull down the road, do ya?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_4lXncUTk4&feature=related"]YouTube - You Fuck My Wife

 

I think you've misinterpreted what i mean when i say security. Its a feeling I'm talking about; when you have a bond with someone that dispels any doubts you may have had in previous relationships and i guess i momentarily thought we might have that, but I've accepted that we don't at least not yet.

 

I will chime in, as I was in a very similar situation a few months ago (I have since ended it)

I was a few years older than my ex (me 25, her 21) and she wanted to go out partying all the time like any normal college student. I graduated the previous year and for lack of a better term, grew out of that party stage. Over time, it just got more and more disconnected between us.

To be honest, it doesn't sound like its going to work. But what do I know? If you do care about her and want it to work, maybe she can change. maybe you can change.

But you have to ask and answer some questions yourelf, because I am not in your mind can cannot feel what you feel obviously.

Sounds like she is just like every other bar girl who loves attention. thats generalizing and judging the hell out of her, but most girls these days just want to go out to the bar with their friends and kiss eachother because they saw some dumbass slut on reality TV do it.

Anyways, I would ask yourself: is it worth it? is she worth it? making you feel out of your comfort zone by partying so much, and just not having the best chemistry together? I would imagine you could find a girl who suits your needs a little better.

As far as her flaunting her stuff in front of guys, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Just tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you would appreciate it if she didn't flirt so much. She should understand.

At the end of the day, its all a part of this crazy thing called life. Everybody goes through relationships, and every person is different. Just do what you know is right in your heart.

 

Thanks for your perspective dude, sorry to hear about it not working out.

As for chemistry, on a one on one basis we have a great chemistry she's like a best friend, i guess the negative mind frame i was in made it seem a bit one sided. I definitely don't see her as just another girl at the bar, but i know we differ in terms of our desire to socialize. Whether this will be the demise of the relationship i don't know, and i don't really care right now, I'm just going to take a more relaxed approach on things. Thanks again bro.

 

Your girlfriend sounds like a young dumb girl who's about to embark on her "slutty years" Sorry but just the fact that you are with her means you're probably quite stupid yourself.

 

eh, most girls that age act like mentally disabled sluts. if a guy his age wants pussy, he pretty much has to put up with it.