Who am I Am I alive Where am I Why am I here? Trying hard to find A meaning to life One day it will come to me Soon but not now One day I will know Who I am As I awake I will die I will try to find This bleak destiny of my life I'd rather not be here But there There where the birds sing And the rivers flow No one to bother me I can lay my head down I'll be one with myself And forever know
While it is well written, i can't help but feel like it's a bit cliched and tell-y. Instead of just telling us about your search and struggles, show them. Give more detail. Let the reader know what this "search" entails for you personally. It's a good start though, keep working at it!
Most stories are cliche; it's how well it's written that hides that fact. I think showing it is definitely the easiest way to add more spice - but more witty writing could also work. I use this Emily Dickinson poem as an example: I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there's a pair of us — don't tell! They'd banish us, you know. How dreary to be somebody! How public, like a frog To tell your name the livelong day To an admiring bog!
