Need advice for this...

She might be frigid. And him...

 

RooRshack, I see what you're saying and I totally agree with you (btw, I am indeed 21, and this is my first relationship. Ever). I do think of him sexually on occasion and fantasize, though I admit not often. I did not mean to answer how american girls are taught (I'm Canadian, but I get it), and that is not all that attracted me to him. The physical attraction is there for sure

 

...I see. My apologies if I'm wrong, but is french your first language? (I just think it might imply more problems if it is, due to word choice)

If you want to do something with him, go do it.... What's the worst that can happen? I would think the worst is that you DON'T do it, and thus never fulfill your fantasy....

 

No, I'm sorry for my poor choice of words, but my first language is english. My thoughts were going about a million miles around my head XD Thank you for the advice and I've gotten closer to him. haven't kissed him yet, but we're getting closer now.

 

Bodies touch, minds join.

 

I say lack of trust, not lack of trust in him but a lack of trust that sexual activity is okay, that it wont cause any unforeseen troubles. I would say there is something in your description of the situation that is causing you fear.

 

I seem to be the only one who doesn't find this weird. Some people take time.

That's a stupid thing to say.

 

yep. the term for them is "just a friend."

 

Mmmm Hmmmm.


Well, when the penny does drop. She'll go through a period where she'll automatically takes it personally, maybe throw things at him, scream that she never wants to see him again.

She's 21, they've known each other for years, thus been in the friends zone for a while, dating four months havent even kissed yet. She says 'We' are not ready for sex, not 'I' am not ready for sex.

21 and somewhat terrified of sex, I'm guessing either petite, fragile and very girly, finds all guys scary or there are other issues in there that will never be said out loud.

But she'll come to realise that she needed that stepping stone, to go from just friends with guys to whoever the first real boyfriend is. And that without this guy she may have ended up 30 and still flinching if a guy kisses her on the hand, never having been kissed. And she'll come to realise that this guy knew all this all along

 

This is more convincing to me than anything.

 

So he's some sort of gay knight in shining armor?

 

Well, not exactly, but he does obviously have a lot of control.

Which is mostly likely is from one of two ways, either A) not interested in girls or B) just not interested full stop. They are rare but there are some straight guys that arent really interested in sex even at 21.


But it doesnt really matter, the anxiety is the main issue, once she's overcomes that, if he is a (B) she's probably going to dump him for one that is interested


But she shouldnt really stress, its really a no loser situation, she moves on to the real boyfriend, this guy moves on to the next dainty little thing

 

Considerably more convincing than your gaydar statement.

Well OP, if you don't agree with this post, ya better get to gropin', ehh? :mickey:

 

RooRshack- You're right! Gropin' time Thanks
Vanilla Gorilla - I am not petite, fragile or very girly, nor do I find all guys scary, and I said 'we' were not ready for sex because we've talked about it. I mean I'm not ready and he said he wasn't. Sorry, just thought I'd clear that up for you
Okay, it looks like I'm going to have to plant one on him. Souns like this is the only way to relieve some anxiety I have about this situation, plus he deserves it. Thanks again to everyone whose expressed their opinion, and I'll let you know how it went

 

Well, keep us updated

 

Maybe deep down you are actually gay but don't know it yet.

 

Thanks everyone for continuing to reply Well I decided that it's not fair to him to be waiting for me as I mull over something simple as a kiss, so we both decided that it's much better that we stay friends. I actually like it better this way and I'm sure he's much happier too. MayQueen~420~ I was mulling over that too, so maybe I'm curious? Hmmm. So difficult X_X

 

i still say that's all you ever were.

good luck with this.

 

Thank you very much

 

It's good that he respects your boundaries.