greetings from the other side of the wall

Hello to all of you,
My friends call me lamplighter or LL and you may too. I have browsed thru the site a few times but never joined because I didn't feel I could be a good contributing member. But times have changed and I now have and need to become part of something larger that I can see and feel as a good thing.
I'm a middle aged hippie who started his journey into into hippiedom in the mid 80's. I was thrown out of the house at 14 due to health issues that my parents mistook for drug problems and found myself staying under a bridge along an interstate, it was a few days before I met what was to be my first experience with hippies and needless to say the "bus came by and I got on" and found myself on the way to Syracuse NY to see the grateful dead. Those moments forever changed my life and the way I would see the world around me to this day forward. I traveled extensively until 2000 when some of my friends decided I really needed to settle for a while. Which has been a both a blessing and a curse, I am surrounded by beautiful people and excellent friends but most of whom only have an inkling of what I have done in my life and why; and most of my time is spent answering their questions seeing how I feel about certain behaviors, and in general being some kind of teacher on the what not to do's and the how to's. These are all great things for me and very flattering but I'm left feeling very lonely in a crowded place with very few... if anyone to bounce my questions and ideas off of, I have no one to help me understand and move forward with where my life must go. While the friends I have are the truest of true and wouldn't do a thing to harm me I almost feel as a prisoner in my own home. I seem to find the meaning of "spent a little time on the mountain and spent a little time on the hill, and I've seen things that you wouldn't understand, but I guess in time you will" as a trap that has stopped me from moving forward in the life I had truly dreamed of having. Its getting harder and harder to look into those empty eyes when I share my feelings and thoughts with others who can only say man thats so deep I wish I could understand more."
By joining this community I hope to find others more understanding who have been down this road before me so I too can gain some new knowledge and wisdom. I hope to see you here and build some new friendships that can at least help me deal with confusions of ego and the here and now. Thanks for having me.
Love, Peace, and Happiness,
Lamplighter

 

Welcome. I just joined today. I won't give you my whole life story but i will tell you that my ventures into hippydom was inspired just over a month ago and i hope this site and the likes of you will help me in my journey

 

Hi! Welcome! Enjoy forums!

 

High

 

hard times only make us stronger.. very nice to meet you

 

Be welcome lamplighter, thank you for coming

Enjoy the journey, it's all about growing

 

Welcome to the site bud

 

Thank you all for the welcomes. I have really been enjoying the site. Sure I will see you around.
Peace out,
LL