I've only recently come out, but almost every interaction I've had with my fellow gay man seems charged with a lot of sexual energy. Nearly every gay guy I know, once he finds out I'm gay, wants to fuck. I had my first boyfriend a couple months ago and on the 2nd day he was trying to take my pants off. Why are so many gay men interested primarily in sex and getting off? I know there's plenty of straight guys who are like this, especially in college, but I feel the ratio of gay men like this is higher. I don't think of myself as extremely attractive. I'm Jewish and have all the stereotypical features of one, so I don't think it's me being hot. I just don't get why all gay men seem to just want to fuck. Have any of you noticed this too?
Its just your perspective. If you only notice the ones that want a quick fuck, your probably only dealing with the ones that hit on you, or at 18 only the ones that want a twink. There will be another set of guys where big muscly men 25-50 is prime target, you wont really see them till you fit that description. Then all other tpes of kinks, bears, chubbs etc. Depending on how fussy you are with age or body shape you should get out there and mix it up. Not just for them but for the different types of friends, contacts, experiences that leads to. And important to do your self a favour and try be the pursuer once in a while, which can be intimidating, but necessary to hone those social skills. You dont have to follow through. But getting to the point where you can just go up and talk to a hot guy in a supermarket and if nothing else just get a big smile, is a good feeling and builds your confidence You'll end up being surprised how many of them know you are before you say it out loud, ........as well some of them not strictly being gay (ie. Married with or without kids)
"all gay men seem to want to just fuck" is a little exaggerated. theyre just horny bastards. even for gay guys that like to take it slow, they like a little pa-pow pretty quickly and theres no denying that. idk if that can be applied for straight people too though. i think there are two reasons. one being that guys are just horny, and when one is put outside the normal "rules" from straight people of promiscuity of what men should do, changes. the second being that when someone celebrates their minorityness, they tend to lean towards that direction and this minority subject relates to sexuality, so i think when it becomes more normal, there'll be less promiscuity. if you dont like being overly flirted with, then just slow it down yourself or something. what do you not like about the promiscuity? are you looking for 'love' or do you just find it annoying?
Well, it's a guy thing, and I should hope you have the same interest. I know when I was a young man I was squirting all over the place. The reason gay men seem more promiscuous than str8 is because str8 men are reined in by women. Gay men meet like minded guys and get it on. Or at least that has been my experience. Well, I'm one of those old pervs who is into Twinks, some (like yourself) as young as my grandsons. (Lucky me - there are some Twink pervs who actually want to do a Daddy or even Grandaddy) I have come to the realization with my own desires, that youth is its own beauty. I see some of these cute boys and realize that they are going to be quite ugly by the time they're 40, but now with all the young features are quite attractive. I'm talking zits being attractive to me on a young man's face. So, you look as good as this 19-year-old? I don't see Michael Cera being that handsome at 40, but here I'd be all over him.
You're probably right. It's just the group that I'm in, and my perspective on it. I certainly don't hate being sexual. Though I'm not into the whole free love thing, as it relates to sex, I do support it and recognize that though I wouldn't do it, some people would. I do think to myself often, "Just do it and get it over with." Maybe I should. I'm 18 and haven't really done much of anything with anyone. I tell myself I should experiment, but it doesn't feel right. I want a relationship, not just sex. But maybe I should just get over that and just get laid. I understand that you want to celebrate your "ethnicity", but don't you want to celebrate your individuality? I don't want to just jump into sex with someone random, why should I? Because every other gay guy is? IDK, maybe I should and just get it over with. But yes, I am looking for love. I know an 18 year old who isn't just looking to fuck! Gasp! I understand it's probably not something feasible at this point in time, but I'd least like someone who would take things a little bit slower than the 1st guy I was with. You're one of those creepy, old men that hits on me every time I step foot in Wilton Manors? lol I understand. I used to only be into young, twinky looking guys, but as I've come out more and experienced more I've come to like more manly guys as well. As horrible as that makes women sound I have seen it happen, but guys must like it to some degree if they let the women castrate them so horribly lol. I have yet to meet one gay guy I really click with, just as a friend. They all watch Glee and have a fashion sense, and I don't. I never really had much in common with any gay man I've ever met.
Oh, you're in S. FL. Yeah, I'm that guy with the crushed biker hat (hiding my bald head) open leather vest (showing my full chest of white bear fur) and chaps (no pants - just briefs) And, a few gold chains. NOT!! No, I don't cruise the boys - I wait until they take an interest in me. Only happened about four times (two contacted me on social networks - Hmm like this one ). Actually, I like young men for the obvious reasons of their youth, which I can connect with surreptitiously, but I have gone with men closer to my age like a 62-year-old I met at Haulover Beach. Still, when I say "boy" it could be an 18-year-old or like my buddy Raul a 33-year-old. You're young - give yourself time before expecting to find a really close friend. Also, maybe look around different places. I hear we're everywhere. We're also very diverse - not all of us have a fashion sense (My daily wear is cut off shorts, T-shirt & flipflops) or keep up with the latest trends. Nor do we have to have things in common with other gay guys (except maybe other guys).
You may want to start organizing your thoughts on this. #1 It is perfectly normal for you want "a relationship" first. Being that you are 18, this is both hard to achieve and NOT a default. Default for being an 18 y.o. male is to want to have sex all the time. You do not have to conform to this stereotype but the half-way sex-crazed dude at your age are both a cultural and societal norm - not an exception. #2 Straight dudes are just as horny as anyone else. Evolution has made sex very "evolutionary" expensive for human females. Nine months of pregnancy plus years of child-rearing are huge expenses in evolutionary terms. The majority rule is that females want to be very selective when it comes to their partner selection. He has to be reliable, capable and a very good, long-term provider. Female desire for relationship first, many candle-light dinners and preferably expensive gifts are simply a thin societal cover up for a major part of the evolutionary hard-wiring in female humans. #3 Gay dudes are far more promiscious. For the same obvious reason that the dog licks his balls. He can. Unlike with their female counterparts, sex for males is extremely inexpensive in evolutionary terms. Typical sex act is usually a matter of several minutes of even couple of hours in which a male lays down his defenses in an otherwise possibly hostile environment. Once the deed is done, his batteries are being recharged quickly (unlike the monthly egg generation process with females), and the male is good and ready to "go again". Whereas females must be "picky and choosey", due to the enormous evolutionary cost involved, males have every reason not to be. Males have been hard-wired to spread their seed as far as and as wide as possible. The cost thereof being so ridiciously low. Being studs and hunks, heart-breakers, alpha males, etc. is a sheer societal cover up for being granted amazingly inexpensive joys of sex in evolutionary terms. #4 Rich guys can afford to shop more, especially if the prices are very, very low. It does not take a rocket scientist to connect the dots anymore. Sex among males only is the least expensive human form of sex there is. No expensive child-bearing & rearing coupled with a matter of renewed ability to procreate within hours or even minutes are very firm fundamentals of homosexual promiscuity. #5 So, you are kinda different here. Why is that? The most likely culprit is social conditioning. There is great short article on the matter at hand here: http://silverrrcloud.wordpress.com/2009/03/08/male-sexuality-and-its-enemies-part-one/ and here: http://silverrrcloud.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/male-sexuality-and-its-enemies-part-two/ #6 Should you just do it and get over with? Only you can make the decision on this one. So, you first educate yourself on the matter at hand and understand what the pros and cons are. You also want to understand the nature of the relatively hidden agenda behind the "relationship first" as opposed to "sex now". Once you have done your little background work, you'll be fine to go. Good Luck, KD
Girls are pretty much the same in the end, just you dont see much of it becuase they have to be a lot sneakier becuase the opposite sex is bigger, scarier, more physically threatening to them. The only real difference is directed at a small percentage of the hottest straight guys. Quarterback gets all the girls in high school, while most of the others struggle to get a girlfriend type thing. Doesnt change after high school, even though they are married with kids etc. So thats about perspective too, its only the way it looks to you because you never see the sneaky stuff. Girls get hornier than the guys as they get older. And importantly to you their gaydar (for most, not all) works a whole lot better than they ever let on.
what is individuality necessarily? and why would you want to jump into bed with someone random?? for the sake of sex and enjoyment without all the relationship nonsense of course. you shouldn't just get it over with, do what you want. and ethnicity? wtf? lol
Individuality as it applies to not being like every other gay guy and just fucking endlessly. I couldn't think of a better word than ethnicity. Minoritiness? You know what I mean. And I understand that you like jumping into bed as opposed to a relationship, but why is every single gay guy I meet purely interested in sex, or a relationship that revolves around sex and other superficial things. Interesting ideas. Thanks for the articles.
