I feel very shaken up

One of my boyfriend's best friends from childhood was in the military stationed in Germany and he was just found murdered on the base. Or I guess the military is deciding whether it was suicide or murder.... I knew him really well too and I just can't believe it...

 

oh Im so sorry to hear that. I wish I could offer more words, but that's just so horribly random that I am blank.

 

that is awful...i am sorry to hear that..

 

Oh wow. That's horrible.

 

I am sorry to hear that. It is tragic that it happened.

 

Sorry to be a downer.... whenever I have terrible news I just feel like I have to talk about it. Anyway, thank you for your kind words.

 

is this the one that tried to kill your boyfriend once?

 

:grouphug:

 

Actually it is... so not to sound mean, but I can kind of see how he might end up murdered some day. Although he felt really bad about what happened, he WAS kind of crazy. But I really didn't want it to end this way... I was really hoping he would get help and get his emotions under control.

 

Awwww... hugs are nice. As are cute cats, like your sig

 

Sorry to hear you're upset. I don't really know what else to say.


If he was that emotionally unstable, perhaps it was suicide.

 

the army should have a special unit for people who are thinking about suicide...help them as much as possible of course but for the ones who are dead set on carrying it out they should be offered special missions in exchange for their families getting bonus pay or something...weird thought I know


or maybe they already do that

 

It definitely could have been suicide, he had attempted suicide several times in the past. But I guess he had also been fighting with some of the other soldiers and there was some talk of them beating him up before... I could see it being a possibility for either situation.

 

I'm so sorry. It's really hard to lose a friend, my thoughts are definitely with you and your boyfriend.

 

When I was in basic training three guys slashed their wrists although just one actually cut straight across his wrist which opened up both veins and arteries

The other two just wanted out so they cut their wrists parallel to the vein and were promptly discharged.

They don’t tell you that in the recruiting office


Hotwater

 

It's their job to put the best face on the military life, which is expected.

The U.S. military is becoming painfully aware of this issue of emotional problems and suicide/murder with the troops in the last five years or so. If you look at the data, you'll see that for U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan suicides are disproportionately high with reserve and national guard members. It may have something to do with people in those particular groups having not expected to be deployed overseas in combat positions for as lengthy durations as they have and the stress that goes along with it.

Often times it's awareness and the perceptiveness of a friend that can prevent these things. I saw a CBS news clip of a U.S. troop in Afghanistan that noticed that a fellow troop was distressed and probably suicidal. He did something that disabled the gun of his buddy. His buddy tried to use the gun on himself the next day and it didn't work. The suicidal troop thanked his friend for disabling the gun.

It's times like those where there isn't the luxury of referring the problem to someone else down the road like a psychologist. It comes down to a family member or a friend being perceptive enough to notice the problem and take immediate action on it. Once someone has gathered the means to do it, the situation is critical. Calling 911 is appropriate when someone is suicidal and has already gathered the means to commit it.

.

 

This friend was in the National Guard and we were all really worried about it to be honest because of how emotionally unstable he was. My boyfriend feels really guilty and like he should have been able to help him. I feel so sorry for his wife, she is in the military as well and they were stationed in the same place.

 

I've known a number of people personally who were distraught and ended their lives in what I would call 'accidental suicides' for lack of a better term. They are a more subtle form of suicide.

Some people with suicidal tendencies may intentionally put themselves in hazardous situations such as drinking and driving dangerously in the hopes of dying in an accident or picking fights with people with the intention of being killed by someone. Others lose interest in life and caring about themselves and succumb to health-related issues. Those kinds of deaths usually get declared as accidental, homicide, or natural when they were in fact subtle suicides but there is no easy way of substantiating it.

If those types would be taken into account as suicides, the suicide rate would probably be significantly higher than the data suggest.

.

 

I’d love to know how many people each year deliberately place themselves in harms way to end their lives through “suicide by circumstance”


Hotwater

 

My brother used to try to kill himself by 'accident'. He would do things like go up to a mountaintop during a lightning storm and hope that he would get electrocuted. Things like that... luckily he has stopped doing that.