I live at a residential treatment program and there's this guy who used to be mean to me. He's been a bit nicer recently, though. I've had two separate dreams where I ask him why he's mean and he suddenly softens up and says he's attracted to me. In real life he would act like I was really unattractive. I don't really believe that he likes me though because there seems to be other girls he likes. Anyway, he lives in the other side of the duplex next door. I had a weird dream about him last night. It was actually a dream within a dream. I sort of new I was dreaming, but dreams within dreams confuse me because I wake up and then I think that I'm really awake but I'm still dreaming. So I think I knew I was dreaming and I was watching a movie in the dream and I remember either thinking or saying out loud that I had seen this movie before. I don't remember what was happening in the movie but it had a negative dirty sexual feeling to it that was unpleasant, a feeling I'm familiar with that's present in some of my bad dreams. I've had quite a few sexual dreams recently but they haven't been negative. I was worried that this dream was going to turn into a nightmare. I didn't want to watch the movie. At the same time, there was this vivid, intense feeling like I was having sex with someone. Then I woke up from the dream within the dream, and I was lying in bed and there was a guy raping me. I've never been raped in real life. He ran away when I woke up, and I think it was supposed to be the guy next door. I was shocked but I didn't feel upset at all or anything negative. But I knew this was the kind of thing you're supposed to tell someone about, so I went to get the phone that they leave out at night in case there's an emergency, and I was going to call my parents, although in real life it's not a regular phone and you can only call certain approved numbers and I wouldn't have been able to call my parents from it. Then I realized that my ears were stuffed with tissues, like the guy had done that so that I wouldn't hear anything. Then I woke up. This dream sticks out to me and strikes me as odd. The thing about it was that it wasn't a nightmare or bad dream or anything. I was raped but I didn't feel violated at all. I don't know if this is important for interpreting the dream or if this is just an indication of a personality trait. Because in real life I'm not really that emotionally affected by sex and maybe I wouldn't be that upset if I was raped. I don't know though because I've never been raped. But I think I would be shaken up if this happened in real life but I wasn't in the dream. I was more surprised that he was attracted to me. It also might not even been about that one guy, because I was thinking about a different guy all of yesterday.
