Well always thought addiction sucked, sobriety is worse. Been on probation 3 months and clean the whole time. I have no motivation, everything is boring, loss of appetite, people piss me off. Im thinking ima wait till my next piss test then get loaded. Though i was told if i fail one im going to jail, and i have to do at least 1000mg of morphine to get off, wonder how long a dose like that will take to get out of my system. Basically, fuck sobriety and fuck NA
Maybe you can find some safer alternatives. One's that don't have you constantly thinking about it non-stop. How are they testing you?
Lab at the PO office and i assume EMIT at home. 2 office visits a month 2 randoms a montth, im on 'close' supervision
VOP centers suck man, my younger brother has been on level 3 for like almost a year and has been there 3 times. Its best to just suck it up and get it over with. And you would really rather be addicted to something and have WDs than be free from that shit man?
Once you tangle with lady opiate it will consume your thoughts/actions/lifestyle forever.... Stay clean for a bit to get the heat off you and think about getting on methadone/subs...... It will give your mind what it needs so you can function and have a normal life as much as possible.
zephyr, what kind of piss test do you get? is it the instant test where you put a few drops of piss into the thing and it will show one or two line; or the more offical test where they seal it and send it to a lab for a real urinalysis?
I get lab test gc/ms and instant test EMIT. I was addicted for 6 years, have 3 months clean now. Never had to worry about running out as ive always, and still do, have an enormous supply. I was told sobriety will change your thought process and make you feel better, i just feel more depressed and think more criminally. The only positive thing is not being high having sex and not being able to cum for anything
haahaha being able to nut is always good. i found that its been quite the reverse for me. I've been clean for months now, and decided to do some roxies two nights ago, and found it just didnt give me the kick it used to. I find marijuana and advanced mathematics much more addicting and pleasurable now, I can spend days on end now just burying myself in the riemann zeta-function, the study of it has been a fountain of pleasure of the likes I've never encountered before, its never-ending wonders becoming my life's source of joy. in a way I just switched one addiction for another lol. But even weed, i find it more pleasurable than pills now. pills are fun, but they're just not the same. weed brings me a joy that pills no longer do.
I can agree with your first statement but the second part is questionable (based off my experiences). Methadone is known to have terrible consequences and suboxone is a bitch to come off of. At least when you're coming off dope you know what to expect. Suboxone is a headfuck
It's a serious life problem if you can't function soberly, especially if you're willing to risk jail to get high. If you think sobiety sucks now, try it in a 8x8 cell.
I know exactly what your saying! ive experienced the same myself, i recently did pills again for the first time in 8 or 9 months, and it wasnt the same wow as it had been before. i enjoy smoking weed much more.
