Ok, I've come to realization that I'm gay...

But, I'm in a small southern town with no openly gay people or anyone I could really talk to it about and I want to start to explore my sexual feelings. I just wonder what you guys think I should do to try to get involved. I would like it to be something I could slowing work into, being that I'm a virgin. I'm not sure if I should make a posting on CL telling this or if I should try to go to nearest gay bar or something else. I wouldn't mind a relationship (in fact I'd probably prefer it) and don't (at the moment) really want to jump into random hook-ups just to experience sex (as much as would like experience it), I'd at least like to know someone on a more personal level before I think I'd even feel comfortable with it. Then again, I'm just so new to accepting that these feelings are real; I was in denial for a long time and sex is a bit of sensitive subject with me (This is only time I've ever tried to reach out for advice). I'm a few hours north of Atlanta (which I understand is supposedly a very gay friendly city) and about 50 minutes from Athens if anyone finds that helpful for the advice. Any information that you need to know about me to help I willing to provide (with obvious exceptions: personal information that could be abused).

I even feel weird typing about this, it not easy for me to do (Though I'm confident that that will change as time goes on.) I've accepted my sexuality, but without experience: How much do I really know about the true blue situations? I just know the very basic fact of my sexuality without much past that, but just so tired of loneliness, and only fantasy.

Thanks for reading and sorry if any of the writing is obtuse. Any advice or even anecdotes from people if they were ever in this same situation would be so nice.
Thanks in advance for any and all advice.

 

There is no reason for you to jump into the cold water, unless you really want to do so.

True, you can get quite some sex by hitting a gay bar/club/spa or by posting on the Craig's. It works for so many other dudes, why wouldn't it work for you?

Getting into a relationship may be a bit of a long process and you may be lacking the experience and knowledge to enter those uncharted territories just as well.

But you can go to any of the dating portals and try to meet up with a dude before you get going with him. Actually, this is a smart way about doing your best to make it a good experience. Meet at a public place, check the chemistry and make sure that he understands that you are looking for a say, buddy to fool around with. You are not talking a very serious monogamous commitment here but you want to know the dude, find him attractive, and worth your while.

Sure, this is a selective process and it will take some time to get there. But it usually works.

KD

 

Thanks, this qoute helped me out too.

 

Most importantly, you have to find a way to move to the big city, you need to seek out other like you. Stay where you are and its going to drive you crazy

 

Well I ceased to be a virgin at 18 with a girl, but always was a bit interested in guys and a year later answered an ad in a Hip newpaper and after a few letters ( no email then!) went and spent the weekend at his flat - he was early 20s; a nice West African guy with a big cock who took my anal virginity - but slowly and gently.

I don't think you need a gay bar - you may end up with an agressive guy wanting a quickie. Better to make an ad and, as said above, meet up somewhere public first - you always have the right to change your mind or back out.

Not being in the states I can't suggest the best places to put an ad but others will be able to.

I wish you a happy experience,

Simon

 

Thank you so much, This gives me a great idea of how I should start out. I feel like i can make a plan of action now.I just can't tell you how thankful I am for this, I really was at a loss at how I should begin. Now, I'm looking forward to things, as opposed to feeling so stuck. I think you're right about starting a long-term relationship when I'm so new being maybe too much for me atm, and testing the waters through a slower, more deliberate feeling out process sounds like a perfect way to do things. :2thumbsup:

Most importantly, you have to find a way to move to the big city, you need to seek out others like you. Stay where you are and its going to drive you crazy

So true,I'm trying to keep my sanity right now. You guys have helped so much, just even talking (or typing) about this to some other people is amazingly stress reliving and I think having these feeling pent up so much is been the one thing holding me back. Just to talk to good accepting people makes me feel so much more comfortable and confident with it everything.
:love:

It may be weird, but I feel like the whole world starting to open up to me.

 

Speaking of dating portals, which place is recommended or you've had good results with?
Thanks again

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6v1IXUqtk0&feature=related"]YouTube - Daffyd from "Little Britain" Season 1

:biker:

 

9mins 25 seconds Of Laughter Here.........THANKS...:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

good thing they have the english translated to english in the subtitles or Id have not understood

 

Some portals like gaydar and gayromeo are pretty global. No harm being there. Some portals are pretty regional, statewide, or even rock in specific towns and cities only.

The truth is that "it pays off to advertise", especially, if posting a profile is anyway free. There quite something to gain and little to lose.

Google around your area and you'll be probably surprised to see that there is more than you have expected.

---

Moving to a major metro area is a given for every gay dude who wants to live his, well, gay life. Yet, just like for everything else in life, you need a few resources before you embark on that one. I am talking money, job, flat, at least few people you know who may be willing to help, etc.

KD

 

I hoped people could read that.
That's why I posted that version.

 

Thanks again. It's cool as hell you helping me out like this. (I know it's just a post, but it means a lot to me)
I'll see if I can find anybody in the surrounding areas that might be interested in something somewhat casual.
I'm hoping to move towards Atlanta at some point in the next year after I save up the money. I have to get a few other things lined up though before I can make the move. After making this thread and gleaning some information I have many things to mull over so I get this right.
Better late than never I guess. (and still better than even later, I would hate to come to terms with this later than I have already)

Oh, And I wish our town had that blacksmith's brother. It's a shame they don't come standard in small towns.
BTW, that clip was funnier than any show currently on in America. I guess i just like British humor (or humour) better than most (not all) American-styled humor.
Does anyone really think "Two and a half men" is funny? And does anyone else see the homosexual undertones(It could just be me, wouldn't be the first time)