Unforgivable

(no...not the funny youtube videos)

What is something that a friend, partner, or family member could do or say that is unforgivable?

In other words, even if you love the person, what are the things that they could do or say that you simply cannot stand for?


For me, I just feel that no matter how angry you are at the person, you should never say or do something to hurt them deliberately.

 

i do forgive, even when its somethin really bad.. but i never forget :/
i wont hold it against the person if i have forgave them, but it will still be there at the back of my mind..

i have a couple of things that i have forgave someone for, but when its family and you live with them. you kind of have to forgive them.. and move on, i dont hold grudges.

EDIT: and its way harder to stay mad at someone you hate.
If say, your boyfriend cheated on you with a random girl, you hate that girl, and will probably never ever like them, and wont forgive them, because why would you? shes not important in your life.

but its so different when its someone you love. things happen.

 

there is definitely a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, which it seems you do with family. i think family gets more wiggle room in general.

i guess what im getting at is more of the idea of someone doing something that you couldn't forget about, to the point you couldn't have them in your life anymore.

 

I live with my direct family (mother, borther and sister) and my aunts and grandma. And they're mean with us, they are constantly saying hurtful things and treating us like "inferior" people. But I still love them, I don't think they do that because they're bad, I think they're just lonely ... and a bit crazy . But they're my family, I just listen when they're talking shit and then walk away and forget what they said. It's actually quite sad, that's why I can't be mad at them.

 

shit..this is rough shit. i read the OP and then just stared off looking out my window into the woods for about 10 minutes thinking about a bunch of different trials and tribulations i have endured recently..

recently i forgave someone close to me for something, and i honestly felt so much better about it and them and myself..then very recently i found out they are the same person as before-deceitful and uncaring.. its so hard when things like this happen

 

I was accused of stealing from someone..it was false but she would never admit to that even though she should have known it...and I guess we never really reconciled

I didnt talk to her for 10 years..I said a few words to her in my head at the casket but I had already forgave her..reconciliation involves both people so I guess that would have been better but she was unwilling

 

thanks for the responses y'all.

what about your significant others? or ex-s.o.?

 

If my husband cheated I would probably not be able to let him touch me ever again, so even if I was able to forgive, it would be over.

Family...hmm. Molestation isn't forgivable. Stealing from me or hurting one of my kids. If anybody hit me, or tried anything sexually, I would never want to see them again.

 

just some stuff my brother did.. but as much as I blame him. I blame law enforcement for not properly doing their jobs, and running him through the county jail -ncic database-fingerprints ect, Instead of allowing him to use my name and not be detained indefinitely til they figured out his true identity.. And yet Im suppose to believe that terrorist will use my name, board aircraft and have their plans thwarted by the FBI.. its LULZ..

 

cheating

 

I can forgive cheating, even though it's a cowardly and selfish thing to do.

I think what I can't forgive is when people purposely hurt others for selfish reasons. People who cheat may not mean to be cruel, they are just unsure as to how to handle the situation they are in (say, in a marriage for 10 years and they no longer love their spouse; yet guilt keeps them from leaving).

However, when people seek joy from the suffering of others, that I cannot forgive. For instance, if someone cheated and immediately told their spouse just to have them get upset and have them become more needy and dependent on the cheater because of their authority over the relationship.

In both cases we're dealing with a cheater, but they are very different from each other. I would have to understand someone's motive to understand if I could forgive them.

 

I've had some really shitty things said to me that I forgave, because I say shitty things I don't mean when I'm overly upset, too. Depending on the circumstances, I probably could forgive cheating, too. I think I could forgive most things, short of abusing my kids. When I have babies nobody's gonna lay a hand on them without feeling mama's wrath. I also wouldn't tolerate being hit out of anger, either. I'll hit back and then pack my shit.

 

My brother's going through something with a girl he was seeing. It was his first real relationship and she was all tied up with her "insignificant other." With whom we were both friends with, me more-so than he was. They had a confrontation mostly because of this friend's jealousy over who knows what. He's very possessive and has been abusive to her, but still, she took him back and put him over priority of my brother, who treated her with nothing but respect and helped her out when we "thought" she needed/wanted help. In the end, she ended up not even breaking up with him... she just up and left. My bro got home from working (hard labor) after not seeing or talking to her for 5 days. Which, she said she went to her mom's, but no one knows what the truth really was. He got home from work, then all of a sudden she wanted him to pick her up from work, which is about 25 miles away, bring her back, pack up all her stuff and help her move to a friends house. Since then, he hasn't heard from her. Of course, there were things said back n forth and this n that, but as for their relationship (whatever type of relationship it was) there was no closure what-so-ever, leaving my brother stumbling in the dark wondering what happened. Not even knowing if it was his fault or hers... Nadda. Sometimes, keeping your mouth shut is the right thing to do... but when it comprimises other's feelings and there is no compassion for someone that helped you out so much and let you live in their house for 3 months and just disappear? I would think it's unforgiveable. If it was me, I'd be all "Forget that bytch... KICK ROX!" Crazy woman. I think they're both crazy and it was just a ploy of hers to spice up her sex life with her "insignificant other." But... who really knows?

 

Family and Neighbours can fight over the most stupid shit though

 

An ex tried to blackmail/manipulate me into either continuing to live with him or pay him over a thousand dollars that he believed I would owe him if I moved. I walked right out, never returned, except to grab my things and to tell him to take me to court if he truly believed I owed him anything. So far no court summons.

Physical/verbal/emotional abuse are also unforgivable.

I also have a hard time getting over false accusations as well. I can accept that people make mistakes, but they better admit that they were wrong if they hope any relationship to continue.

 

not having sex with me.

 

It is Unforgiveable, your mum seems to have sex with everyone else

 

who said she shot me down?

 

I kinda have low standards and tolerate a lot of variation in the range of human behaviors before I'll completely cut off relations with a person. Deliberately hurting a child would be top on my list. I'm sure more would come to mind . . .

 

I don't put up any kind of shit anymore.