friends with benefits .. confused :/

sighh.. okay welll for the past 3 months ive been in a FWB type of relationship. it all started out as all fun and games , but of course ive started developing feelings for the guy . but like sometimes i feel like i really do like him and sometimes i am really in it just for fun . im just really confused with myself lol. i deff know that the guy doesnt want me to catch feelings and that he's made it obvious that he doesnt like me like that .. i think. i mean sometimes it seems like he actually does, and i think thats why i start feeling like im falling for him , but whenever he reminds me or does something that makes me know that he doesnt then its like ehh im just trying to have fun blah blah blah. like there's even been a couple of times where he's told me that he wants to take a break from sex or doesnt want to do it anymore.. but we always end up doing it anyways -____- but today we finally talked things out , at first he told me he didnt want to have sex with me anymore and i kinda got upset. idk why i did , i guess cause i like the feeling of it , being connected with someone. he noticed that i was upset and asked me why and i didnt have the nerve to actually tell him . but he got it out of mee , and kept asking me if i like him .. do i have feelings for him .. yada yada and i swore to him that i dont like him and that i couldnt see us being together . i mean part of its truee .. i dont like him but i do have feelings for him , just in a different way . if that makes sense? i care for him alot as a friend and the sex is just something we do that makes me happy lol but idk why i get these different feelings for him. . like am i just kidding myself and i really do like him but dont want to admit it or i really dont like him but i like our friendship more and the sex is just extra ? i know this is a little confusing and you guys cant really tell me what im feeling lol i just want to know peoples opinions and maybe itll help mee

 

i want taco bell

 

I'm sorry, but I would rather read posts with paragraphs.

 

You should know in your heart if you really like him. As for guys. They're a mixed bunch. Sounds like he likes the perks of a relationship (making love, friendship etc.) without the responsivbility or commitment....

 

it is possible to be sexually attracted to someone you don't actually like.

i can't give better advice without to ability to read your post.

 

maybe you need to play the field and figure out what you like

 

Your post looks like you are really confused with a lot going through your head. Maybe you need to be able to deal with the possibility of loss, i.e. there is always a possibility that you will not get the pleasure you get. Maybe you need to have an alternative plan in place so that you can just enjoy the moment and make the most of what you have, with the idea that anything could happen.

 

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PS - damnit, I had no clue that was going to come out so neat.

 

duck hahahahaa

it did not come out neat on mine, it starts out really messy looking like paragraphs then at the end it got neat:::: so i am not sure if you mean 'yeah brother that is neato!!!' or organized neat, but yeah; at first i thought it was an actual response which added extra seconds to the loling. and the only wayit comes out neat on mine is if i magnify de screen like 5 times...

coming from what i have read from the title and the first sentence,you probably should not have developed these feelingsfin

 

On mine it's stacked perfectly like a really repetitive list.

Thanks for the reassurance though

 

I've been in a FWB with the same girl for a couple of years now, and we both have been able to seperate the friendship/sex from developing into anything more serious that that.

It's the hardest thing to do in any FWB. Sex almost always leads to the development of feelings for that person, and when it does, then it doesn't remain a FWB anymore. Then it becomes much more confusing and complicated.

I know nothing about your FWB except from what you've written, but it appears that you went from an agreement of non-commital sex to being confused and somewhat on the fence now.

It seems pretty clear that you have developed at least some feelings for him that can't allow your current arrangement to keep working. On the other hand, he seems to have done a much better job then you have of compartmentalizing just what it is you two are about...a couple trusting friends who like to use each other for satisfaction and gratification.

I'm betting that there are things that he's noticing about you during sex that has him beginning to back away from you. He's sensing a change in you, and it probably has to do with him feeling you're becoming tooattached in the wrong kinda way. And, since he's your friend first and foremost, he probably doesn't want to see you getting hurt by this.

The answers to your problem should be clear inside of yourself. Only you know what's truly going on and only you know what you're truly feeling inside. Ask yourself this question; Can you walk away from having sex with him and not miss it so much that you feel completely empty and hurt inside?

It's an FWB, not an exclusive relationship. If you're having trouble accepting that then it's time to walk away now. Better to experience a little bit of pain now then a lot of hurt down the road.

Good luck.

 

You start seein' patterns in that shit and shit.

 

the FWB fact trumps all else....just enjoy it while it lasts


this is like complaining about winning too much cash in a lottery

 

Being in this kind of relationship sucks you dry. Trust me. I've been in this kind of relationship before. He gave me false promises like we will be "officially" together once he has sorted his life and once he's ready. I just woke up one day and decided that enough is enough. My advice, talk to him and if he doesn't give you a straight answer, it's better to leave now before you fall madly in love with him.