For guys and girls - a question. Women - did any of you have a strong aversion to anal but then came to like it or not mind it? What I am specifically interested in is what thoughts, ideas, etc are the things that turned you on about it? Men - Had a women that was totally not into anal but became interested in it over time? What changed or how did it happen? The reason I ask is with my current girlfriend she is a total freak in bed with the exception of one particular area - anal. I happen to like anal sex a lot - the taboo, naughtiness, etc... She really is not turned on by it at all which is making it difficult for multiple reasons. Like a lot of women she has one experience with anal - from when she was younger (19) and she is now 32. The guy she did it with she said had an average or slightly below average sized dick. Like most first time anal stories - she hated it and he obviously didn't take enough time to stretch her out and hurt her. I have a slightly above average dick and am somewhat thick - women love it for vaginal sex but it's always made anal sex difficult with every woman I've tried it with. Oh also, she's like 5'5" and about 115 lbs - she's like a size 0-4 dress size so she has a petite frame. She's totally open to trying and will let me work up to it - but it's been incredibly difficult so far. She is also sort of a clean freak when it comes to hygiene - like if she took a dump 3 hours ago and hasn't showered yet she won't even let me touch her asshole. She's also a bit less submissive than any of the girlfriend's I've had before and I think crossing the boundary of letting a guy fuck her in the ass again after her first horrible experience is a bit of a mental block. The farthest we've gotten is about 1/3 of my dick inside her ass and barely moving back and forth. I'm like 7.5 inches erect. We smoke weed and drink regularly and she is open to using other drugs to facilitate this if it would help - ecstasy in particular. I have never taken E and am not sure if this would be wise or not so need advice on that as well. Basically - what ways can I warm up this woman to anal? She's a total freak with almost all other fetishes - bondage, exhibitionism, etc.. but just not anal. In short I need a better game plan than I have been using. Also - please note - I am not willing to use underhanded tactics to get a sexual thrill. I need advice, primarily from the ladies, on how they came to like anal if they didn't originally.
The only piece of advice I can give is be sure to get her super in the mood beforehand. Maybe if you go down on her and keep it up until she's squirming it feels so good, then SLOWLY try a finger or two. Keep at it for a week or so and then see where she stands on the subject. Good luck!
Barefoot's right... gotta be in the mood... I used to hate anal, but after a few more experiences with different people I realized that some people just don't know how to fuck a butt right and that it can actually be very pleasurable. Keep it real slow in the beginning, making sure the entry is as comfortable as possible. Like bare said above me, use a finger or two at first... very gently. After awhile, she'll be begging for more. E is great for sex. Don't be afraid of it. Me and my partner also use Foxy, Moxy, and Amphetamines on occasion just to spice up sex from time to time.
My only concern with E was that maybe it would make things that should hurt feel good - is that wrong? I didn't want her to get her wires mixed up and when I should be going slower she's asking me to go deeper and faster - only to hurt her horribly...
Well you can only go so deep, right? =D The E will only make things feel better... Just go slow in the beginning to get her used to it and then before you know it you'll be pounding away!
Don't get me wrong guys I've had anal a bunch of times with different women - what I am asking for is how to get her into it more mentally.
Are you playing with her ass before you try to penetrate her? My wife isnt an anal lover but if I work her right she gladly let me in there. I usually massage her, rub her cheeks a lot, kiss them, lick her ass and basically slow work my way in there as she gets more and more relaxed. She (and her asshole) has to be relaxed in order for it to work, if she is tense or hesitant then it just wont work IMO. Try E, that willl probably relax her a lot, just not too much if she's never done it before. Edit: Needless to say a good quality lube is important, dont go easy on it, use as much or more than is needed the first few times.
I think you need to SLOW THINGS DOWN! If you want her to do anal, you have to make anal sex about her not about you putting your dick in her ass, it's about exposing her to a new and (often more intense) different kind of pleasure. Put her first before your self and it will pay off 10 fold, trust me on this. You don't even need to penetrate her ass with your penis at first. When you do oral sex make sure that you orally stimulate her clit and anus; I have found this to work time and time again to help women to "discover" that anal stimulation can be pleasurable. The tongue is soft, warm, and non-threatening. This will help them relax for when you start to use fingers and possibly a small butt plug, and finally your penis. You're a big guy, you need to get the idea out of her head that you have to "stretch" her ass. What you need to do is warm up and RELAX her ass. And the best way to relax her is to get her as aroused as possible. Only start to use fingers in her ass after you have given her sufficient clitoral, vaginal and anal stimulation, it's better that you make her cum if possible as well. Next, make sure your nails are cut and FILED, those sharp edges from a fresh cut nail can do some serious damage! Make sure and tell her to slightly bear down like she is trying to pass gas, this might sound gross or even contradictory, but when she does this it will help to dilate and open her ass to insert your finger, use this technique when you attempt to penetrate with your penis when she's ready. Start by working your small finger in there SLOWLY while you stimulate her clit and vagina, it drives most girls NUTS if you make them cum this way. After the little finger then go to the next biggest finger, then two, and then three. You have to get her pretty relaxed because you said you're thick, so I recommend trying anal after she can handle 3 fingers in her ass comfortably. You can also use a butt plug set if you have the dough, and work your way up from smallest to largest. It's cool because you can have vaginal sex while they are in and the plug will help to dilate her anus to prepare her for anal sex. And of course you need to use a good lube. I recommend something water based or silicone. But if you use silicone lube, you CANNOT use silicone toys as it will damage the toy. Remember SLOW DOWN! Use some aroma therapy candles that help ease stress and promote relaxation, give her a back rub. We keep a lot of tension in our asses, the more you get her to relax, the better off you are; ya dig. :afro:
i'm gonna have to agree with triple ace here, great advice. i've had anal with a dozen or so girls and 7 of them had never done it before me (or hated their experiences with it before), and of those 7, 6 ended up loving it after they had done it with me a few times. #1 rule- get her to relax (i recommend making out with her as soon as you get just the head in) #2 rule- easy on the entry!
My advice for what it is worth, "stay off the pot and fucken E", what a dumd fucking idea that is, anal is not about how much pot or E you take and then slamming in her arse, it's about the pleasure of two people experimenting and exploring each other sexually and waking up in the morning and remembering the whole experience. E is for fuckwits!
Some good advice - but honestly - the only idea I didn't have already was the aroma candles and that's a stretch. I'm not so much asking for technique guys - I know technique. I'm asking for what goes on inside the woman's mind that makes her aroused by the thought of anal. And I'm probably not going to get very valuable answers on that from men...
