Reality sets in- 23 y/o virgin in a week (not by choice)

Hi. I know there are multiple posts about people over 21 being virgins and such, but I wanted to just ask some questions.

Background: I turn 23 in a week and am a virgin to any sort of sex. The furthest I have progressed is making out with a girl. And that only happened once. Unlike many older virgins, I am not religious. I am also not ugly- my photo is in the image basket. I have self-confidence as well. I have a college degree in Mathematics, but I am not nerdy in the traditional sense, although you have to be a bit nerdy to like math enough to get a degree in it.

I am unemployed at the moment, having recently left a graduate program for a number of reasons. I live on my own, in a modest apartment. I am not fat, but I am a tad overweight and don't really care. I don't know why I have not ever hit it off with any girls. I have tried at least 20 times to pursue girls that I liked, and all 20 times (except that one make out girl) ended in being rejected, never in a mean manner, though. I can't think of any reasons why my numbers are so low. On the outside and just knowing me casually, I am a normal person who is actually pretty smart, funny, and knows some cool hobbies.

On the inside, however, I do deal with many problems, some severe. However, I am being treated for all of them, successfully at the time. I also use drugs a good deal- light opioids and Adderall- however I keep the use private and only my closest friends know. I don't act like a speed freak or anything, either. Most people say I am extremely nice and easy to talk to and confide in.

I would ideally like to find a girlfriend before I have sex with her, but in this day, that might not be that easy.

Are girls genuinely put off by older virgins?
For those who were older, what things helped you get a girl/boyfriend?
Will I have no luck, seeing as a lot of older virgins are in it for religious reasons and I am a total atheist?
What obvious pitfalls could I have been making that I have not noticed?

Thanks.

 

Share your drugs

 

Haha. Funny enough, that is essentially how the one make-out session of my life was precipitated.

 

Yes most girls are put off by older virgins, so I hope you weren't using that as a pick up line.

Being 20/20 on rejections is kind of odd, no matter who you are. Maybe it's something to do with the way you present yourself, or how you talk to them, or the type of places you try to meet women? I don't know man, you must be doing something very wrong to not get even 1 hit out of 20.

BTW, start working out.

 

I don't know what it is that I do wrong. Most of the girls have been friends, not too close, though. I'll simply suggest a date activity and make it known I think they are attractive and friendly. I don't see how that is incorrect.

I have cold-approached about 5 girls, which ended with rejection. Sometimes they were crushes in school, etc.

I don't think I look for girls in the wrong places. I go after girls that are in school with me (when I was a student). I also go after girls who are in my extended friend circle, you know, friends of friends. Its not like I am hanging out at a bar all night every night trying to pick up women.

As for working out, my condition makes that much harder than it sounds. I'd rather not go into the details. Before I had to be treated for my condition, I did work out, and never got any girls then. And that was like when I was a freshman in college!

I find it discouraging that girls actually find virginity a turn off. Why? Its not like I am too dumb to train sexually haha.

 

Do these girls even know you're a virgin?

 

you say you have 'self confidence,' but you've only hit on 20 girls throughout your entire life..............................................

 

Get a renter

 

i don't know. older virgins not by choice are usually either hideous or "too nice."

1) i don't know, it seems that way though.
2) i didn't get a girlfriend, but i lost my virginity rather late and i was helped by having a bisexual roommate who never paid his share of the rent and who was dating an underage guy whose slutty older sister had to chaperon. also, laser malt liquor helped (forced maybe) me to hit on her.
3) i have no clue if you'll have luck or not. i don't think religion really means all that much here, but you could always pretend to be religious if you think it will help.
4) i don't know. do you pick your nose in public?

 

Because they probably don't want to go through the effort of being your first time and trying to train you on how to have sex while you learn the ropes. Big hassle. Women your age just want good sex, not a student. So yeah never tell a girl your interested in that you are a virgin.

 

"On the inside, however, I do deal with many problems, some severe."


What does ^^^ that mean? Elaborate.

 

one thing that i would recommend, as a woman, is that you do not proposition women within your friends circle or at school. there is a small window of time in which you are either put on the "friend ladder" or the "fuck ladder". be mysterious, be sexy, and don't wait too long to approach her.

 

Well, first of all it's good to read that you like yourself and that you have self confidence. You define who you are One's sexual repertoire doesn't define who they are, despite what popular media will have you believe.

Yes, you're a little bit older compared to today's standards, but again, these standards are largely influenced by the media and here's the thing, the media isn't real. It doesn't matter at what point in life you accomplish things. All that matters in life period is that you're happy and you like yourself.

That being said I have a suggestion that I think might work for you. You wrote, "Its not like I am hanging out at a bar all night every night trying to pick up women." I think you should try doing that. Let's say you meet a girl you really like, you want to treat her well, both personally and sexually. You'd like to at least "know the ropes".

Try hanging out a bars for a little while and see if you can hook-up with some drunk slutty chicks. Seriously, there's women who do this three times a week or more, getting drunk and going home with strangers seems to be a sport for them. Get laid a few times, work out the kinks, then try to meet a nice girl. Good luck either way

 

And if you do the drunk slutty chick thing try not to get attached to them. Statistically speaking it's much easier for you to get a slut into the sack so it's more likely that's who you'll end up having sex with the first time - the downfall of this is that you get attached easily to people the first few times you have sex with different people and YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS WITH THE EASY SLUT.

I warned you, and it still won't matter cause it's super hard to control - like a force of nature.

 

I should mention the flip side of the easy slut route; there are women out there who will not care that you're a virgin, I'm sure there are many. Not all women are as superficial as you might think. I'm sure there are plenty good women who would be more than willing to teach you how to please a woman.

Also, if you are that concerned you could always date someone a bit younger, 19 and older, who may be on the same level or who might have a little experience. A lot of girls that age like older guys.

Also, if you do get into a situation where you could potentially have sex and you don't want to tell the lass that you're a virgin, just get the both of you drunk. That way if the sex is crummy, she'll just think it's because you're drunk, and that's if she even remembers. Just make sure she's drunker than you are.

 

the good side to this is, if she's just a random bar chick he's likely to not even see her again.

hard to get attached to someone you only spend 6 hours with in your life.

this is why god created roofies.

 

6 hours?! You're doing it wrong. It should only take 2 hours.

 

I definitely agree here. I don't think I would be put off by your virginity. I am also not put off by the fact that you were a math major (I am a math major too right now).

Don't worry, and don't lose hope. It will happen for you so long as you keep trying. You sound like a nice guy who has confidence but is not overly cocky (although this is only going off what I know from your post of course).

 

Youre doomed op

 

well i'm really not doing it at all... never picked up a bar chick.

when i need to pick a random number, i almost always go with 6.