I would like to have a honest opinion about this story. Preferably from men.

OK, first I beg you not to judge me, or the situation... I just want an answer strictly to what I ask. If I would explain my actions it would take a week. And I did have my reasons to do what I did, just I don't want to reveal them. Thank you.

I have a bf. for 5 years now. Two months ago I started chatting with a guy from university. He started telling me what he would do to me if I was there and that he loved my ass. I told him from the beginning that our "relationship" is going to be strictly physical. He invited me to his place several times but I refused, with the reason that my bf would become suspicious if I suddenly left. After 2 weeks I went to visit him and we touched, we kissed but nothing more. We continued chatting and after few days he said he wanted some time to clear things out with his ex. I said 'fine' and did not contact him at all. Few days later he asks me on-line if I am upset because I didn't even look at him when we met (We see each other almost everyday at school). I answered no but I told him I was upset on the fact that I am mentally haunted by him. He came right away to me, blocked me in an elevator and said he just wants to hug me. I refused. He asked me why I was looking at his lips while talking to him. I said it's a thing of mine, to look at people's lips when talking. He suddenly left. Next day we chatted and I told him that he should not think I have a crush on him or something, and that he haunts me in the sexual way. We continued chatting. He invited me at his place. I refused. Many times. Few days later I sent him a message telling he should meet me in 5 min. in the toilet. I blew jobbed him for 40 seconds than I took off. I left him there. We continued chatting and next day he tells me to come at school because he wants to have some nice time together. I put on some sluttish underwear and I went.He took me to a small depot room in the basement, he fingered me, he licked, and I sucked. Nothing more. We continued to chat. Two days later he invited me at his place and I went. I told him I want him to erase the logs of our chatting and that I want to end what we were doing because my bf doesn't deserve this but that I hope we could be friends. He got a bit angry, he tried to erase as I asked but it turned out that the only way of doing it was to erase everything so I said "fine, leave it". Than he fingered me until I came and tried to go further but I refused and left. The next day I noticed he deleted me from his friends list. I wrote him a nice message saying that I do not follow the grounds of his behaviour since there has been settled a rule from the very beginning of the 'relationship' that its only going to be physical, so there was no reason to get upset and I promised never to bother him because it is clear that he no longer wants to speak with me. He replied in a line that he did what I wanted him to do. I never replied. Than we didn't speak for 1 week and I left in holidays for another 2 weeks when we didn't speak at all. The second day I returned from holiday, he asked if I was still angry on him, we chatted a bit and than I went to his place, where we finally had a wild time with everything included. Everything. After that he said that I was wonderful, that he wants me again but I refused.He complimented me continuously about my "performance" Than he asked when can he see me again and I said 'we'll see'.
Ok... whew! Now the question:
There have been 4 days since then and he didn't give one sign. Do you think he is playing games, or that he got what he wanted and now he is just going on with his life? I am asking because obviously, it hasn't been just physical for me.

 

Without commenting on your cheating, you sound like an enormous emotional hassle.
He probably got what he wanted and doesn't feel like dealing with your on again off again "I refuse" routine anymore.

 

What he said.

If you claim its just physical, then you just ring him up when you have a spare afternoon, no games


Sounds like your the one more emotionally involved

 

Just fuck him and get it over with!

 

Sounds like she already did.
If I was this bitch's boyfriend I'd feel compelled to berate the shit out of you and then dump you on your ass.

neodude's got it right - you're more emotionally involved and you are fuckin around with this dude, totally using him as your toy. if i was that guy too, i'd get a little pissed and just not talk to you, unless of course you actually said upfront that you wanted to suck my dick again.


skeez

 

Only he knows. Hard for me to say, since I have always avoided putting myself in the position of a beggar for sex or in hot and cold affairs.

I like the boundaries of each of my relationships to be crystal clear, friend or foe.

 

Way too much drama for something that is just hooking up

 

the most desperate guy in the world wouldn't put up with all your ridiculous fucking games. this guy must have been the most desperate guy in the world for taking it as long as he did.

oh yeah, your boyfriend must be even more desperate.

 

The name of the game is Paragraphs & Prepositions. :sunny:

 

Errr, so the boyfriend is more desperate than the most desperate guy in the world? LOL

 

you're behaving like the skakiest of skanks

 

Ditto to everybody's answers. Drama, drama, drama.

 

You're a child and a moron.

 

Well guys, thank you very much for answering, even though you gave some nasty comments , I appreciate.
To expand a bit my case, this is the very first time I am cheating my bf, up until 2 months ago, I have not cheated him not even with my mind! I got really attracted by this guy because he is very intelligent and we had some very interesting discussions from which I learned a lot and he has proved to be a deep thinker. He has told me about his dark sides, well, probably some of his dark sides. He is not a hunk, not even close, he is not tall, he is not handsome. But his face is nasty! He has such deep eyes that could freeze the one he looks. Maybe its just in my mind about his looks, but if you see him on the street you would think he s just another freak rocker.
For the ones saying that he is desperate, what if it is not desperation, and he may have accepted my on and off behaviour because he somehow had more than just the 'horizontal desire'
And to remind you about the question I asked: Do you think he is playing a game right now by not giving any sign, like playing hard to get? Or its just that he got what he wanted and I am history ? I am insisting on the question because I'd like to get an answer to this and not to be judged.

 

x

 

i don't think he is playing any games.

you're acting like a skank, and he takes you up on the offer. when you start making him feel like he's in a relationship with you or that he has to do something to get your diseased cooter, he doesn't want anything from you.

you are trying to twist him around your finger, but all you have going for you are your DSLs.

seriously, what are you trying to ask us? it's pretty obvious that he enjoys your 'company' and you are making it more complicated than it already is.

you should tell your boyfriend you've been cheating on him, too. that's extremely low and no matter how ugly/fascinating this dude is, it doesn't justify any of your actions.


close your fuckin legs

 

Simicara, I am going to be as honest as possible. I don't think he is the one playing games, YOU are the one playing games. Your last parting comment "We'll see" is proof of that. You are teasing him. From what I can determine right now, you have a toxic relationship with him. You wanted it to be all physical and nothing more, you both got physical. You wanted no strings attached, and I see plenty of strings.

Now what you need to do is to forget about this guy, go to your bf and, if he has been faithful to you, determine never to do it again unless you break with with your bf first. If he's been good to you, he does not deserve a gf who gives 40 second BJ's to another guy in a toilet.

 

More likely he doesnt want to bother with any games

Just got what he wanted and took off? They dont take off if the sex is good. Getting blown for 40 seconds then you taking off and leaving him hanging doesnt sound like good sex.

If it is just sexual, then when you have a spare couple hours, you just ring him or text him, lets shag. Simple


And dont listen to the angry ones, there the half wondering where their partner is for 3 hours on a Saturday Afternoon

 

Again, many thanks for wasting your time on this story. I am having a horrible time right now because this is probably going to have enormous impact on my mind and my behaviour towards my bf. One of the probably very less good influences this guy or 'relationship' has had upon me is that since I started to talk with him, I unchained myself from the psychical dependence I had for my bf. (an example would be that I was so tied to him that I would refuse to go out with my friends in order to stay home and do nothing, and that was not an isolate case, it was every weekend, excluding the ones when HE got out with his friends and leave me alone.) So after meeting this guy, I feel released from this addiction I used to have for my bf. I feel more independent, more attractive. You will probably advise me to go and talk to my bf, and you probably wonder why am I talking about me going out with MY friends and he with his and so on. Well, this is one of the rules he has 'suggested'. And I do not even consider talking to him and telling that I want him to change. It is useless.
On the other hand I feel like an object. I know, I have behaved like an object you'll say! The bad part is that I don't regret what I did... and I am obsessed of this guy! I am thinking over and over if I should call him and have a talk, at least find out what is on his mind or if this would be just lame and that if I want to keep the little, close to non-existent respect he might have for me, I should just leave it the way it is and if he has some sort of concern about me, he will get in touch.

 

Simicara, to quote what you said in your initial post:

..I told him from the beginning that our "relationship" is going to be strictly physical..

Now your last post you say:

..I should just leave it the way it is and if he has some sort of concern about me, he will get in touch..

He might be sensing that what started out as just an offer for sex has moved to a more emotional attachment, and he bolted.