What inspiers a cheater to cheat?

Im just curious on why a person that is with someone they really like would cheat on them? What motivates a cheater i guess is my question? Why do they enjoy fucking with peoples heads? What do you guys think?

 

Quite a few guys are simply hard-wired to spread their genes as far and wide as they can. It is a fact a life.

Other dudes feel that they cannot be owned by anyone and that their sexual drive is theirs to enjoy as they find fit.

There is nothing wrong with either of these two groups. You only need to be man enough and openly state that you leave monogamy to those who subscribe to it and that you are not one of them. If your partner accepts that, cool. If not, you move on and find someone who shares your take on this.

KD

 

May I Be Permitted To Quote A Wise Old Saying I Feel Is Appropiate Here..............

......"The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence"..



Cheers Glen.

 

From what I read, guys are actually more likely to cheat as a spur of the moment thing. When there is an opportunity.
Women are more likely to plan it out.
I've also read that women are most likely to cheat to 'make sure their with the right guy'

 

Yeah, monogamy is a cultural construct and goes against human nature. The urges are there and some men and women just act on them.

It's only "cheating" when you lie about it to your mate, otherwise it is just natural.

 

i don't agree with that. monogamy is natural too, it doesn't run against human nature. marriage is the social construct, not monogamy. (there are plenty of examples of animals mating for life as well, and they don't have the cumulative environment of centuries of cultural hierarchy to mess with their nature). different people are just different. it is when a person who acts monogamously and a person who doesn't get together that the problems may start to arise. the key is to talk and figure it out together. whether and why someone cheats runs a whole gamut of possible reasons. sometimes it's pure lust. sometimes the person is unsatisfied with the relationship. other times it's something altogether different. it could be anything and everything. there is no one right answer to your question. if you have experience with a specific person cheating, then you should ask him why he did it.

 

Hi,

Your answer just may be soothing myself,but could you tell me-
What if people who cheat to whom,they love them too,but still cheat them.
What could be "psychology" behind this act?

 

Totally agreed. Monogomy is not unnatural, just as polygamy isnt. Many people are genuinely hurt and heartbroken when their partner cheats. This would not happen if monogomy was unnatural. Someone's pain when a partner cheats is not a social construct, therefore, monogomy cannot be either. Monogomy being the status quo, and the accepted norm IS the social construct, not monogomy itself. And I think this in itself is the problem. Many people who are really not made for monogomy get involved in monogomous relationships because that is what is seen in our culture as acceptable and "right". Whereas polygamy is seen as perverse and wrong by many people. So some people for whom monogomy isnt appropriate try to stay with one partner to fit in with the norms of society.

But, in almost all cases where someone cheats, its because the cheater is in someway not being fulfilled by their partner, so they seek it elsewhere. There is no excuse for cheating in my opinion. If you have a problem with your partner/relationship, you should open up about it, or end it. Cheating is not something that I would find acceptable under any circumstances. If you're not happy with your partner, end it before finding someone else.

 

well, for one, that depends a little on whether it's a once or twice kind of thing or something that happens regularly. like it was already said, not all people are monogamous by nature. they might want to be, they might try to be and live like that, but if that's not who they are it means suppressing themselves and at one point that is gonna catch up with them one way or another. then, it might be that they get something out of it that they can't get from their partner. if it's a once or twice kind of thing, it might just be the sexual lust taking over in a certain moment under certain circumstances. I'm sure at least most of us know what those moments feel like. I'm not an expert on this. I still think it's not that easy to apply a fixed number of clear reasons to why people cheat on their loved ones. it's a complex function of their identity, life, immediate environment, people they meet, and other variables. and in the end it all still might be perfectly compatible with them loving their partner.

also: make up sex is fucking amazing

 

Thanks,so you mean "cheating" is someone's nature?
And you cannot change it.
Should we let it go as it or search for the right person, like minded,even though it hurts a lot?

 

"cheating" isn't someone's nature, but the desire to be with more than one person is. Some people prefer to have one partner, other's like to have a handful.

I think you can change it, but that would involve brainwashing

Are you asking from personal experience, vegetariana?

and yes, you should find someone more like-minded. If you are the kind of person who loves one person and you fall for someone who does not, then yes, it will hurt: which is why it is best to just let it go and move on. They can't become what you want them to be.

 

i don't mean cheating per se. monogamy is not in everybody's nature, no.
and whether you should let him go or try to work it out---it depends, if it's a guy who constantly falls in love with other people, then it's probably painful whether you stick with him or not. if he regularly seeks just sex from other people, then it's for you to decide whether you can live with that. or he might just be a once-or-twice kind of guy, and again, you gotta figure it out if you can forgive him for that.

 

Humans are just another kind of animal. Lions mate up to 60 times in any given day with different partners during mating season. It is a basic instinct, the desire to spread one's genes to as many others as possible. This being said, there are monogamous relationships within a lot of other species. Penguins, for example, mate for life. They find that one other penguin they will be with forever, and "cheating" is not part of their nature.

As for motivation behind cheating? It is my opinion that if someone is going to cheat on someone else, it is because they just aren't interested enough in their current partner. In this case, it's probably time to move on anyway, rather than hurt someone.

 

a few standard reasons

1. excitement
2. revenge
3. intoxication
4. peer pressure

I have cheated, for the second reason. She shouldn't have got with one of my best friends after I got beaten up by some skin heads, though.