Hello all. Frist off I would like to say I'm so happy I found your site. I'm a straight open minded woman. I have a question tho and any help will be appreciated. First I will tell you why I am asking this. I met a wonderful guy at work. I was attracted to him and he seemed to be attracted to me too. People at work kept telling me they thought he was gay. He is a little effeminate. I asked him if he was and he denied it, I also asked him if he was bi and again he denied it. We started going out. Everytime we were togather we would make out but it never went any farther than that. He would always have an excuse to not have sex. I thought that was weird because he is a young guy. Periodically I would ask him if he was gay and he'd still deny it. We have known each other for two years and been seeing each other off and on. Within the last 6months it seemed to be getting more serious. But again no sex. So suffice it to say my feelings were getting hurt and it was messing with my head. I saw on his "fb" that lately he has been adding alot of gay males, who have no connections to any of his friends. He has a very close minded family and I know it would be hard for him to come out. We have become very good friends. I accepted the fact that he and I wont ever be more then friends. I was very mad at him for lying to me. I am very open, I love everyone no matter who they are. I have showed him that I accept everyone. Ok, lol sorry for the long story, heres my question. How do I tell him I know he is gay? I want him to feel safe that I wont reject him or turn him away for who he is. I know he's hurting. I can see it in his eyes . I asked him again last night, I told him I would love him no matter what he does with his life. Why does he keep lying to me? What should I do? It's hurting me to see him hurt. I want to show him I support him and that I will be there by his side when and if he decides to come out. Help..I feel more confused than I think he is.
Then just let him decide when he's ready, you already told him you know he's gay by asking many a times.
thank you.. i guess i can do that. Its just annoying that he wont come out and tell me I feel like he cant trust me. Idk
There are men that refuse to accept this fact because of being forced to come out. So they even deny it to themselves until the urge hits, then they satisfy their urge and go back into the secret safety of denial.Even if he trust you, the fear he would feel is paralyzing.I would say, just be his best friend and he will let you know, but you will probably need to accept a subtle answer because he will probably always need his privacy on the matter.
Well, thats what happens when we're living in a world where people feel they have no choice but to enter relationships with members of the opposite sex when they aren't attracted to them, just to be considered "normal" and to be accepted by society. If gay guys were not so scared of being themselves, they wouldnt feel the need to go out with women purely to cover up their true sexuality. Society is much more to blame than the gay men who aren't strong enough to stand up to the ignorance and bigotry.
How are you going to do that if you dont know what gay is? Whats that? Dont be ridiculous, of course you know what Gay is? Really, even though no one else has worked out yet why they are born that way, or even if they are born that way. He hasnt ravished you because why? He thinks your bits are disgusting? Or he's simply not interested? Or he's not interested enough and doesnt want to start something he's going to do badly at? or maybe for him boys bits are just a lot more fun - you dont really have any idea of that. If this was a girl you were talking about, and she wanted to be your lover but you just wanted BFF. That could be one of either: That being her lover you find icky, or just simply that being her lover doesnt get you terribly excited, or that you'd be bad at it....or that you really value or need BFF more Awwww, like a little puppy dog You love it. If you think this hurts, wait till you have a son, a relationship with a little dude that is by default non sexual. That hurt, that anguish as you wait and stress at his first day of kindergarten, wondering how he went, feeling the pain of being separated from him for so long. You finally go to pick him up, see his little face, he beams at you, gives you a hug, your heart melts.....that hurt doesnt stop though and later on that night you lock yourself in the bathroom, turn up the radio and have a good cry Why do you keep lying to yourself? Why was was it that you kept at it when everyone else around you knew he was gay? Which really wasnt the case you knew all along deep down inside Forget about what it makes him, what does it make you? I know girls like you, more often than not you look back and there was one little dude somewhere in the mix when you were little that he reminds you of, back before you knew what horny was, when it was just giggling, maybe a sweet kiss on the cheek, when all the other little boys were too rough. Whether it was a brother, or a cousin or a family friend, you know who it is, even if you cant quite remember him Or maybe not, maybe its just that you always wanted a little brother growing up, cos you saw that with one of your other friends and thought that was adorable Or maybe you simply just do really long for a son....... or a daughter but life plans dont allow for that at the moment Or maybe its the other way around, maybe you want to delay that, by sticking with a guy thats not going to get you pregnant Or maybe you are just a hopeless romantic and in the end that hurt is hotter than anything to do with rubbing belly buttons together Lastly: Maybe gay has nothing to do with it. I'm sure you'll come across one straight guy, if you havent already that doesnt want to do the nasty, cos he knows theres a fair chance you'll end up throwing things at each other and never seeing each other again. Keeping it innocent means a better chance of still knowing each other in 30,40 years
