So I am reading this cool Buddhist book that I came from some cool Tibetan Buddhists in Australia. Well, it says that you can be a cool, holy meditator sort for thousands of lives and one moment of anger destroys all the good karma from you good efforts. It says you have no right to be angry no matter what, that frustration counts as anger too, that it is all your fault...this makes me sad I mean I try not to be an angry bitch and all but there are times I think I have a right to be angry or irritated or frustrated even if it is just enough to stick up for myself. I don't like yelling or confrontations or anything. I feel bad for even being a little disagreeable.But am I evil for getting ticked? Is the goal of Buddhism to be like Mr. Spock and have no emotions at all, or very few? Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is sure hard with things going the way they are. My bro/roomie's doctor cut all of his meds out(because of a new policy at the clinic we go to)anxiety, and pain meds are gone so living with him can be VERY frustrating and depression making. This book says that is bad too. So I have a lot to work on. Any ideas? peace Delfynasa
first off, just 'cause it is in a book doesn't mean it means anything... being holy & being spiritual are kind of like any other job... you do your best with what you have, and if stuff isn't always exactly how it ought to be, it's ok... the work of being holy is pretty well two things: 1- harder than all fuck 2- pretty forgiving, including to your own screwups... it's fine to attempt the perfection of selfless compassion, but you won't get there. all you'll ever be able to do is say "i tried", and anyone who tells you anything else has their face dipped in bullshit. the point of being kind or loving or good isn't to "get" anything... not enlightenment, not holiness, not euphoria, not revelation, and certainly not any kind of judgmental superiority... the point of being good is to just be good. share your food, teach children to be gentle, return lost items, help others who need help.. that is a fight unto itself.. & after a while you get wisdom... & the wisdom you get is all your own.. not what anybody says, not what anyone can judge, not what anyone can say you screwed up over, because it isn't what *they* would have or would not have done.. you know, it *may* be true... transmigration of the soul from form to form... or a single shot at the path of life which determines the character of our eternal spirit... or just a fucking on & off switch where nothing is left behind... any one of what are tens of thousands of after-life propositions... & you know what? not one of them means a single shit in relation to what you believe is the good thing to do for someone in the direct moment of your existence & theirs intersecting.. so you scream at some asshole who won't make space for you to get into the lane you need? big fucking deal.. you bitch at the assholes who are washing the sands of afghanistan with blood, in the name of intangible ideologies, each demanding they kill the bodies of others who's brains do not carry the same? well.. hell yeah.. weeping over that, or being angry or whatever it is that may seem a distraction from disinterest is such a natural act that any alteration of that natural response is going to be something you have *to find for yourself*.... there's only one thing i would say, i think, regarding the perfection of disinterest: don't trust any monk, priest or philosopher who doesn't actually work at performing physical labor to make ends meet... at least if they have 'followers' that they take food or money from, even if it is just one person. if they're truly disinterested, like a fucking vulcan, chances are they really don't even have a need to talk... they wouldn't care whether you listen, they wouldn't care whether or not they spoke.. life is hard enough without worrying about whether we're going to go to heaven or be reborn as a worm or lower caste pariah or escape a wheel that we're ultimately not supposed to give a fuck about, to begin with... that's just my take.. you've got to figure yer own, & just work from there... hope this 'lil diatribe was at least amusing... peace, john (PS.. i've got work to do.. later on i'll yap about dealing with yer bro, if you like.. live long & prosper & all that crap, & love while yer still alive to do it.. j)
Buddhists seem to want to devolve into the most simple forms or life rather than evolve and advance what we currently have/know. Which is like the ONE thing that turns me off from their way of thinking. Fuck spending your life prepareing to die... we need to colonize space or we're all gonna die for nothing.
everything is holy, everything is divine, believe it or not, everything fulfills its divine role in existence (even nonexistence) and theres no way to go against this wholly, wholeness, anger is a part of the whole, anger brings change, the important thing is not letting it become violence, don't deny that you feel the anger, but can you laugh at it? can you seperate yourself from it, can you see the oneness in all things. anger can be healing, but i think as we pogress spiritually we have less and less destructive anger, maybe it comes, we are angry, let it run through you, curse a lot, scream, whatever, then calm down... if it is there it is simply there and its true, we all must lose everything, empty your cup so that it can be filled, what buddhism and religion in general is concerned with is the eternal, and the eternal is still there anger or not lose everything and what is still there, that is all that we must keep don't let anger possess you to act irrationally on a large scale, and do something you would never do otherwise that really hurts someone or yourself... "Zen means waking up to the present moment. That is, perceiving this moment exactly as it is, rather than through the filter of our ideas, opinions, etc. One way to practice this is to ask yourself a Big Question, such as "What am I?" If you ask such a question strongly and sincerely, what appears is "Don't Know." This don't-know is before thinking. If you keep it moment to moment, then everything is clear. Then, each moment, whatever you're doing, just do it. When you're sitting, just sit; when you're eating, just eat"
It is quite possible that the author of the book doesn't know what he or she is talking about. It is also possible that you have misunderstood it. At any rate that is not what the Buddha taught. You have the right to feel whatever you want, including anger. Your feelings are what they are. However, if you think that anger accomplishes anything, you would be wrong. And a moment of anger does destroy a lot of merit. Go ahead and be angry, but be prepared to suffer the consequences. Buddhist morality is always that way. It doesn't say, "Thou shalt not." It says, "Here is what you are doing to yourself. Now make your choice and accept the result." It is not about fault or blame either. It is about taking responsibility. Consequences are natural. Every action has them. So if we do the action, we have to expect the consequences. If you stand in the rain, you will get wet. It would be silly to expect otherwise. If you touch the fire, you will get burned. If you hurt other people, other people will hurt you. You choose your consequences when you choose your actions. The goal of Buddhism is to end suffering. Emotions tend to get in the way of that. But none of us are perfect yet, so don't fret about it. Emotions aren't bad. They are just an obstacle. Buddhism doesn't use terms like "bad" to describe emotions. If that's what the book says, it is wrong. Instead, Buddhism talks about skillful and unskillful. There's nothing bad about being unskillful. It just means we are not fully trained yet. Indulging in emotions that hurt others is unskillful because ultimately it hurts ourselves.
That is definitely an exaggeration. Actually anger and discontentment in general is a major side effect of the quest for enlightenment. I've heard a few accounts of that personal experience by some spiritual devotees (acknowledging that were not considered to have reached enlightenment). In Be Here Now by Ram Dass he writes about his period of irritability, frustration, and discontentment while living Monastic life in Asia (Which may have other implications more to do with relative aspects of life). This reminds me of a thread I was going to start about depression and enlightenment... I have some major inquiries I reached a pretty blissful state for a good chunk of time past winter, and losing it was really some of the toughest bullshit I put myself through, continue to put myself through, but I know it was because that blissful state isn't necessarily something you're supposed to grab on to, as it will surely fade like it did. Anger was a big part of it. I have had anger management issues my whole life. I'd like to think there are some substantial reasons behind some of my anger...like you feel you have the right. Those reasons probably won't go away, so it's better I face them at a better rate so I can really grow and reach a more true state of bliss. We'll see.... Lots of good input on this thread.
Stick up for yourself. In today's society, you're just going to make yourself feel worse and worse everytime you let others pwn you. However, you can learn not to get so upset about things when you don't need to. That's something you can take out of it.
Stick up for yourself is some good, simple advice and makes me think though that there definitely is a point where the attitude uses you and you not the attitude. To put it most cliche.. And hey there kokujin... reminds me of that one thread of my issues... By the way I stood my ground as more correct than it actually was... Certain resentments really don't have to exist if you don't pay mind...
having "a right to feel whatever you want" doesn't always make it a good idea to do so. if it did, the mindfulness of any belief would be unneeded.
Ok let's get something straight. By no means does Buddhism say the proper mind will not even approach frustration.... The whole idea is that each sensation and arisen emotion is like a wave rolling up your beach, but you have to let it roll back in. So anyone who is under the impression that frustration is very far away for the most thickened skin is full of it, and furthermore doesn't share a great understanding of Buddhism.
Also the quest and motivation for the attainment of enlightenment is fueled directly by frustration, and in these religions few are considered to have reached this, and much of the fore philosophy and practice is in dealing and accepting this frustration. The Cycle of Samsara, something that should be harnessed, cared for, and watched over to progress toward liberation from it. It is of death and rebirth, continuously, within, and beyond our personal lifetime. I have heard it likened to sitting in a room, having to stand up, exit the room, soon re-enter, thus forth, the frustration and annoyance it causes, and wishing so to end that. But we must forget that is our wish.
Just become aware, awake in your anger and your anger will dissolve. Keep becoming more aware, and the rest will follow.
From what I understand of Xtianity & Bud-ism, I think both would have a hard time disagreeing that the deadliest sin is Pride.
If anger arises, observe it, and don't cling to it. Try to let it go. If you can't let it go, observe that. Don't act on it.
The flaw is in the question. Sin is a Jewish/Christian concept (also might be in Islam, but I'm not sure). There is right and wrong in Buddhism, but not sin. Anger is neither right nor wrong. Anger is just anger. It is a powerful emotion that arises in us when certain conditions are fulfilled - perhaps we did not get something we want or we got something we didn't want. The caution against anger is that when we're angry we're often tempted to do something rash and harmful (read that: wrong) - and thus cause suffering towards ourselves and others. It is therefore unskillful to simply let anger become our master even for a short while because even a single word uttered out of anger can cause trouble. It is, however, equally unskillful to try to repress anger. What is skillful is to simply let anger come and go, neither trying to repress it nor allowing it to enslave us. What I do is I pause in the heat of anger and feel it, I watch it, I observe my reaction to it: the feeling in my chest, my breathing, the thoughts racing in my mind. I observe that I am angry and I have to let the anger come and go (the word "LET" being emphasized here) without harming myself or another. Am I always successful? No, I still blow up at times. But I like to think that those times are no longer as frequent. And I no longer hold on to anger as long as I used to.
