Is he/she 'the one'

Is your current significant other 'the one.'

With me, though I care deeply about my current boyfriend I doubt he is 'the one' I could picture spending the rest of my life with him but deep down I yearn for a deeper connection with someone who is smarter and more creative.

We have a good relationship and I am not going to throw it away and sit around a wait for someone who I may never meet.

Some people believe this is wrong. Others see no problem with it. What is your intake?

 

I don't believe in 'the one', but yes, she is. =)

And I would agree with the 'some', you mention. You are only wasting both of your time if you are not content.

 

But I am content. How do I explain this? Well, let's take happiness and put it on a spectrum. 1 being miserable and 5 being completely happy. I'd say I am at a 4 with my boyfriend. But if I was single I'd be at a 2. So the way I see it is I am not 'wasting my time' because if I wasn't with him I'd be single. He treats me good and I do the same. It's nice having someone to cuddle with at night and go places with and I do like him. I like him a lot. I like him more than any other guy I have dated by far. But I know he isn't the one because we aren't entirely on the same level. He isn't as much as a deep thinker like I am. I yearn to one day in the distant future maybe meet someone who completes me. Like they are my other half. That can truly understand who I am and be content with it. And if I did meet that person when we were together I wouldn't dump my boyfriend and immediately begin a relationship with 'Mr. Right.' 'Mr. Right' would have to be patient for a few months and let me heal.

Like I said my boyfriend is amazing. And though it sounds like I am saying 'eh, he's good enough for now' It's a little more complicated than that. I just think into things waaay to deeply, I suppose.

 

yeah, but if you're busy with your 4, 5 could pass you by.

 

Well Morpheus said Neo is the one.


But I dont really believe that, I'm not a big Keanu fan

 

And while you're busy waiting for 5, 4 might wise up =P

OP, I only hope you have been honest with your man about his possibly temporal role in your life.

 

There is no "one" the notion of such is both illogical and downright humorous.

There are individual you will be immensely compatible with, whether by interests, intellect, desires etc.

But there is no "one"

The term itself was largely fabricated to sell romance novels.

To me I think it comes down to finding a person you see least fault with. This may not necessarily mean you have the most common traits but that there's less turn-offs.

I've dated women who I shared a lot of interests with but had opposing views. I also dated a woman I shared a lot less with but she was neutral on or agreeable on certain issues that made her more tolerable to be with.

I mean, sometimes you're going to get hot and cold but think hot is more important and then later start acknowledging more of the cold chill.

And with some girls you get like a modest temperature, some guys would call them boring, but since I never argue with women I am dating, girls who counter some issues or interests become increasingly annoying to me as oppose to a girl that's neutral.

Honestly I have seen myself swept up with some girls, it always passes.

 

I do not at all believe in the notion that there is one true love for every person. I hardly even believe in true love at all. There are people that are more right than others, certainly. And the degrees of "fit" vary greatly. The decision comes down to, will you always wonder if there is someone better? And if you do wonder, will you be able to leave it at wonder and not obsess?

I understand where you're coming from. There are several guys I've dated that were amazing, with whom I could have spent the rest of my life, but I figured there must be something better. It surpassed wonder, it surpassed obsession, and became a fact. I knew there were others that I would be happier with.

Since I have no intention of getting married or having children, leaving these guys that were a great fit to find someone better wasn't that scary for me. And it turned out to be a great decision because, years later now, I have found someone that is a near perfect fit. I say near perfect because I also don't believe in perfection, but I think he is as perfect for me as a man could be. I also realize that love can be fleeting, so I would never be so naïve to say that he is "the one."

 

I can kind of relate to this, although my 2 adjectives might be different. But what he lacks is why I seek to supplement my needs for human connection with platonic friends with similar interest/passions. He may not have it all down to the very last ingredient, but overall, yes... he is the one I choose.

 

I hope so cuz I'd hate to think I wasted 22 years on her

 

yeah, hipforums probably is the one for me. :love:

 

Who? Fuck Im the one for me.

But really, I dont think there is that "person" for you or anyone else, just someone who meshes with you slightly perfectly but not 100% perfect, there are people whom you hate, dislike, dont care, are netural to, like, and love.. they all go into groups.. the further end ones seem to be harder to find and need to achieve that level of degree for hate or love.. so I do believe that person could be the one.. but one for you to a certain point to share your life with, but not the one whom is 100% for you.

 

I never believed I would find "the one" then after 42 years and a failed marriage I found her. A beautiful Wiccan, spiritual nature lover who made me feel like no-one has ever made me feel. We shared many common interests in food, music and leisure activities. Like all relationships we had our ups and downs but I always believed she was the person I was meant to be with. At the end of November her mother became ill and eventually died. Three days after the funeral the love of my life no longer wanted me and didnt even want any communication with me. Looking back there were signs I should have read but it is often easy to miss them with rose tinted specs on.

The moral of this story is that love between two people is a transient emotion that transforms with time and change in circumstance. Enjoy the person you are with, treat them with love, kindness and consideration. If it works out you can enjoy each other until the inevitable conclusion, if it doesnt work out you have only given of yourself and can be happy that you always treated your partner how you would wish to be treated.

Blind loving attachment ultimately leads to heartbreak for one or both.

Hope you have a long and happy relationship

 

He is. Yes.

 

My fiancee and I are soulmates, and I honestly think that there is someone for everyone.

He and I went through a rough patch before we were engaged, where we saw other people and didn't speak for about three months, because we were angry and overwhelmed. Eventually we ended up missing each other so much that we agreed to chill, and fell head over heels for each other again..

Being away from him opened my eyes to the fact that he's actually "the one." The heartbreak I felt was actual physical pain..

He just lights the spark inside of me that makes me want to do great things.

 

Mine is. There are not so happy moments, yeah, but the joy he brings me makes every bump in the road worth it. There's always going to be flaws but I don't think that makes anyone less perfect for each other, just not perfect themselves.

 

enough failed relationships have pretty much taught me exactly what I want in a man, and I've found that in a friend of mine that has a live-in girlfriend. life is unfair.

We connect on pretty much every level. Intellectually, emotionally, morally, creatively, spiritually, physically- even though thats never really been tested..I can just feel the chemistry between us whenever we're standing close to each other. its almost something tangible. Hes the only person that always laughs at all my dumb jokes. Sometimes when we make eye contact we just end up staring at each other for a minute because the connection is just there.

Maybe i'm fooling myself but I feel like his girlfriend probably gets him to level 4 happiness, but I could be his 5.

I've had the biggest crush on him for over a year now and everytime I give up on him something happens that just reminds me of how well we connect. its driving me crazy.

I kind of feel sorry for the OP's boyfriend. I wouldn't want to be with someone that thought I made their life a 4 but believed there could possibly be a 5 out there.

 

This is an awful situation. You need to kiss him immediately and damn the consequences.

 

i would think a majority of people in relationships would think that their significant other is the one, or else they would probably not be with them. especially women; men are a little more likely to be in it for the sex.

 

Sometimes I worry that this will be true for me too