Between fears, and desires, you sought truth in the knowledge of me, truths recieved from the opinions of others, poor in love, poverty personified, you choose your one chance on the wit of fools, bliss is your gift, for you may not know the depth of your loss, I shared my soul not surrounded by words of redundancy, an epitaph you passed over, eagerly in search of monetary joy. You desired only what you wanted to hear, and feared you might actually hear me finish the truth...... Devon Knight ~
Then there are they who refuse the right path due to fear, and live their ultimate lie...life! thanks Romi..... Peace brother ~ Devon ~
the truth: to open her eyes and mind. to look inside you, not just in herself. You're patterns didn't form together correctly. You're pattern's were much more pure. Your feelings are written beautifully. peace& <3
Thank you so much Miss G.I.T.G.G., I'm glad I had a females input on this, I like to know the other side, (Female), can understand what I try and relate, and for your kind words, thank you. Devon ~
Kidder I liked this line a lot, well I could relate more to it anyway [bliss is your gift, for you may not know the depth of your loss] I think the presentation of your ideas deters the effectiveness. You don't let each line really sink in, so the poem turns into a semi-ramble. Oh and I also forgot, the last two lines are an excellent finish! But they need some isolation.
Yes, I mus agree that it is a very emotional and revealing poem. I must also agree that you could pound the lines into our brains a little better. It's amazing what hitting the return key in a few places can do. Empty space works wonders on the mind.
Thanks all for the feed back, Much! It's as I write I see it from my point of view, it's what you've experienced thus far in life that'll allow your mind to pick up on the obvious, and your experience through my eye's may become clearer.. Thanks again, for your time to read, and reply. Peace!, Devon K. ~
Thanks so much for that S.P., and I feel you even have a name to go with that experience I'm sure! Peace, Devon Knight ~
i like this piece. i think you shouldnt change anything. good poetry is one that invokes deep emotional meaning with the writer first and then the readers second. i know many of my pieces will obviously strike a different feeling inside of me than inside my readers. i thought this was poignant and revealing. most importantly it was a very true experience to you
hey devon...this poem speaks to me...like only you can...i hope u dont think i'm ignoring u at all...been so busy, dont get much of a chance to come on here...but i'll try to keep in touch...
Thank you Outdoorwoman, Very well put, I was hoping I wasn't he only one who thought that way, I rarely change a word in my thoughts that I write, truly it is what it is, 99% of what I put in ink is straight from the source within, Thank you again for your time.... SKYFIRE!!!!!!!!!!! "~ eeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr Bout time!!! ") I was feeling alittle confused, I actually thought someone ganked your name, I am very happy that this is not the case, glad you cleared that up, I've been trying through Skip to get my name back, but I guess he don't care bout his web site, and or the people on it, I didn't know if you knew it was me,but you do, and I'm smiling now, take care, and don't work to hard, hope to hear from you soon....... Love, and friends.. Devon Knight ~
Devon, This is one of my favourites from you. Of course, I haven't been around in a long time. I really like this. Good work! By the way, this is barefootanddancingdreamer. They wouldnt let me have my name back! Bastards!
Hi Barefoot, So glad to see I'm still among some old time friends, and thank you for your kind words, I'm also happy that you guy's..Skyfire, and yourself like my thought process, and how I write, it's a good feeling to touch through writing, in a positive way, I hope you guys are around a long time, it's nice to pop in and see a friend, be sure and Sig your old name at the bottom like I did, cause I wasn't able to get my name back either, and I want to know any new names we veterans are writing under, I'm making a note of your new name now, talk again soon love, take care...... Devon Knight ~
