abortion?

Good correction

 

Good good gooood advice. Just know that either way, it's going to be really scary for her, so you have to let it ultimately be up to her. No matter what you choose, it's still her body that it's happening to. And remember, you are definitely not alone, there are a lot of other people in your same situation. Remember, the world is a judgmental place and you may get some frowns, but keep your head held high, because as lunar said, it's your life. No one else can determine what's best for you.

 

I, for one, think it's a rather terrible and loaded correction, and that Kinky Romona's advice is already quite applicable.

 

Yeah it was a bit loaded but once someone has gotten themselves in this situation there is little that anyone can say from a truly objective perspective that isn't going to be loaded in one way or another. Move this discussion back two plus months and term it as hypothetical and you won't have a portion of the participants seeing this as something more than a medical procedure for the woman... and to be fair, I believe the OP is considering this to some extent- though he seems to be leaning heavily toward terminating. The decision- one way or another- should be respected, whether or not we agree personally. This could well be something that resonates to an extent for the rest of their lives and the decision that seems to be best now may not turn out to have been the best a decade or two down the road.

 

my 20 something GF had an Abortion and didnt tell me til it was over with.. I dont speak to her -unlike most my Gf in my life I still contact them and know them..
my other Gf had my first son while receiving Chemo treatments, the doctors said to abort, but we did not. She just quit the treatments. This child was born deaf in an ear and blind in one eye- this was hard on him when he was 3, due to the eye correction surgery that didnt take. He lives a normal life in Hawaii with his uncle, hes 19yrs old now..

 

1. Yes (no)
2. No
3. Sleep = more comfortable but slightly (slightly) more risky than local.
4. Depends on your attitude.
But I would ignore these technical aspects of the abortion.

More important is how you will both feel about it after. Even years after. And that depends on what you believe an embryo represents:

1.Human life with human rights? If you think this, you would have guilt issues afterwards and you should consider carefully what you are doing. Most people who believe this strongly would automatically rule out abortion

2.Not full human life with human rights but unique human potential, a unique product of your current relationship with your girl friend? You'll have emotional issues afterwards that will fade with time

3.A ball of cells, no more "human life" than a kidney. Its potential as human being can be replaced with a future planned pregnancy. If you are inclined towards this you should go ahead with the abortion and dont let an unplanned pregnancy control your life choice at this stage.


I dont believe an embryo is a sentient being, it has no awareness, no consciousness. Its "potential" is just a genetic code. A recipe, not a cake. Its a collection of cells of human origin just like that kidney. The notion that an embryo is "human life" is purely a philosophical or religious idea.

Once the embryo develops further into a fetus wiht a developed human neurological system I get more squeemish. I hate the idea of abortion at 24 weeks.

 

thanks by the way for your response, before I reply.. Question number one is what me and my girlfriend have a hard time piecing together. The whole idea is before this situation happened we both said to each other that abortions are never the right answer, maybe we were naive and never thought it would happen to us. Honestly in this situation, we are so lost and confused. its alot of hard discussions which need talking about which is one of the reasons why I decided to come to hipforums , to be completely honest I have alot of trouble sleeping knowing that this issue is a reality and not a figment of my imagination (which was hard to grasp in the first place, I had to hear it alot of times until it actually hit me, The guilt me and my girlfriend feel is horrible, but we are just far more scared that if we have the child, he will resent his life situation ( and always wonder 'WHY' this happened to him. knowing my life situations) I just always wanted to be there for my kids (teaching them everything, being active in there lives) and never leave them alone like my parents did to me.
The thing is, i just got accepted into college and it would be very hard to start raising a child at this age, and being able to provide the basic needs that a baby would need.

Question number two is how we currently feel. We feel like by going through with an abortion that we are actually killing apart of us, which in reality is the idea of it. Its such a hard idea to grasp in my mind, just because when i was younger and had shroom trips i would always imagine the future, and passing on my DNA and passing on creation, and just tripping about the whole possibilities with life, and i always thought about all the people who never where born but would have made a vast difference on society.

I'm honestly lost, I think we are going to go through with the abortion because we are scared of our parents finding out and noticing a difference in my girlfriends physical appearance, but its a hard decision that still needs far more discussions.
Its hard to grow up over a week and realize the realities and consequence of every action.

 

Look man, forget the idea that a kid would potentially resent their life situation just because they're adopted. Adopted children are loved by their adoptive parents just as much as any biological child. Many adopted children don't resent the fact that they were adopted. It takes a good person to adopt a child and more often then not those people make really good parents. Often better than those people who have the kid anyways and resent its existence.

A few weeks after I turned 17 my father died. At the time I smoked cigarettes. Years later I wanted to quit but I thought that if I did quit, I'd be losing one more thing I had in common with my dad (he and I both smoked, together sometimes). Years later I realised that if I continued to smoke for that reason alone, I'd be doing myself harm. So I quit.

Don't base such an important decision on the idea that you might be creating a rift between yourself and your girlfriend. You're young, no offense but chances are you'll be with other women in your life. You might only be doing yourself harm in the end if you base your decision on how it might be a thing between yourself and your girlfriend.

I may sound biased, but the decision is up to you. I just hate the thought of three lives potentially being ruined, or resented, when it could all be avoided.

 

Absolutely. And furthermore your decision making will be harried by emotions and sentimentality, which, whilst very important, may be mistaken for intuition, and worse -wisdom and truth.

It sounds as if you're stuggling with the question whether or not the embryo represents full "human life", and a unique product of your current relationship with your girl friend.

The second part you will get over with time, automatically. You can easily have another pregnancy with her to make up when the time is right, which would also give you a greater degree of certainty that you are right together.

The first part is hard. Because there is no right answer, there is no "truth". It is purely a philosophical issue, -which you have to decide for yourself. Don't listen to campaigning pro-lifers, who use fake arguments like: "it is scientifically 'human' with human DNA and it is 'alive', therefore it is 'human life' ". (But that is semantics: the same can be said for your kidney, and the chunk of skin on your razor). And they try and get you on a guilt trip; they refer to the embryo as "baby" and show it can "feel" at 14 weeks or whatever (It shows a withdrawal response to painful stimuli. But so does a shrimp)

 

Why couldn't you be there to support it as it grows? You're supporting each other, aren't you? And there are plenty of kids that have had parents that had unhealthy lifestyles during pregnancy that were born perfectly normal. If babies were that delicate, most of them wouldn't have survived. But there's one thing you can be sure of-it won't survive an abortion.

 

I think lunarverse answered the adoption aspect really well. Adoption is usually an option that ensures a child grows up well. But you should definitely find a family before the baby is born; and make sure it stays out of the system, if you choose this option. The foster system can be a really nasty place.

I am very against the idea of raising children you can not provide for. I think abortion is a wonderful option to avoid this problem. But I suppose if your girlfriend's healthy, you have good healthcare, and a history of safe births in your families; then adoption is fine too.

It's not alive yet. An acorn is not a tree and all that. Every time you fucked and didn't get her pregnant millions of potential lives were not realized, it's nothing new.

Why does your parents finding out worry you?

It sounds to me like they are still reliant on their parents.

Are you listening to yourself? You sound like a Republican scare film.

Is it just me that found this line hilarious?

 

I'm not a Republican, fyi, and it just happens to be true-babies are babies, little humans, regardless of what you may choose to call them, and they don't survive abortions.

 

Babies are what come after birth.

 

Oh, sure-you ever seen an ultrasound of one that's 5 or 6 months along, or even two or three. ? I have. They're babies.

 

A) Have you ever heard of an abortion at 6 months?
B) This is an ultrasound at 2 months:

If I a baby came out like that, I'd be rather horrified.

C) Even if what you said were true, haven't you ever heard of not judging a book by it's cover?
Or do you think this child with hypertrichosis is an actual werewolf?


I think if we are to continue this argument, maybe we should do it in Private Message, or make another thread though

 

I support your decision. Have you ever considered the abortion pill?

 

the abortion pill??? there is the morning after pill, but as far as I know they haven't came up with a pill that aborts after 72 hours....

I once went to the BodyWorks exhibit, in which people donate their bodies after death to be used as a science exhibit. At this exhibit they had fetuses from a week old up to 9 months. From a week old, the fetus was developed to the point where I would feel guilty aborting it. This is the point where I decided I could never go through with an abortion; but its a matter of perspective. Some people might look at a two month old fetus and see nothing but a bundle of cells, whereas I see a developing baby. I recommend both you and your girlfriend research the development of the fetus and come to terms with how you view development. You both want to make sure this is not something you're going to regret. The mental ramifications of abortion can be devastating, particularly for females.

as for her lifestyle, I am sure the majority of teenagers that become pregnant live similiar lifestyles before they find out about the pregnancy. I would check with a doctor to get a clean bill of fetal health before you base your decision off something like that. Smoking and drinking early on in the pregnancy before the brain and lungs really start to develop generally doesn't affect the fetus to the point where it will be born with birth defects.

I would recommend getting an ultrasound before you make your decision. some states require them.

 

I tend to agree with this. Unless of course you are in the last stage of pregnancy, and it's developed.

At a few weeks - it's a foetus.

 

I went to that too. You do see it differently when they are right in front of you, but to me I wouldn't have called the early stages a 'baby'.

 

It's a living organism on a base level. A collection of tissue, but I think it's pretty safe to assume that the fetus isn't very conscious or aware during the first few weeks.