The Expendables Movie Blurb by Shale August 13, 2010 The aggregate reviews on Rottentomatoes give this movie a 44% good rating and our local reviewer Rene Rodriguez with The Miami Herald sorta trashed this movie like The Expendables did to the Latin American dictator's mansion and coke warehouse. I have to agree with all of them - this is not a great movie and in parts was kinda dragging. I guess the draw is the number of old action heroes in one movie and maybe it will appeal to the contemporaries of these actors - the large "baby boom" population. I mean really, Jason Statham at 37 is the kid in the gang. Terry Crews is next at 42, but the rest are in their late forties and fifties, with Sly being a year younger than me. (Didn't mention 63-year-old Schwartzenegger and 55-year-old Willis because they are only in a cameo of a couple minutes with Stallone and are not players in this movie.) But, I of all ppl shouldn't be dissin' the age thing and I'm not saying our old grandpas in arms don't have their attraction. (BTW, I have quite a few young admirers on MySpace, so Old is Beautiful I guess) But, fact is the age of the protagonists in this movie is a novelty and adds to the total fantasy that is the currency of these action movies. (At least the last Indiana Jones movie acknowledged Harrison Ford's age in some of the action scenes.) The Gang Armed Oh, the story if it's necessary. The Expendables are like a gang of mercenaries who take on jobs that the CIA is scared of. They are biker types with lots of tats - done by Mickey Rourke in their garage meeting place. Our movie opens on the gang making a raid on a Russian ship that has been taken over by Somali pirates. BTW, there is no wincing on the gore and blood spatter from head shots in this movie. So, after dispatching the pirates, (making all of us who know the frustrating reality of that feel better) they get hired to take out a dictator on a Latin American island. Well, the story is not important. The running fights, shooting, knife throwing, kicks and explosions are what this movie is about. It coulda had more of that and less of the old guys talking about their regrets. At least that kid Statham comes close to being a love interest when he defends his ex G/F by beating up her abusive current B/F (and half a dozen of his jerk buddies). This movie could be appealing to about 44% of guys. Not terrible but not great either.
This movie is great. If you are a fan of any of these guys and their movies then you will love it. Went with a group of friends last week and everyone loved it. Even the two girls. And one pretty much only likes the Crazy Heart, feel good story type of movies.
I'd rather watch my laundry spin and concoct stories about what my shorts are doing to my T-shirts than see that waste of time. Sorry,but aren't people getting tired of this crap yet? See a real movie like Winter's Bone.
I was talking to one of my clients about this piece of shit (didn't see it don't need to I can tell you it sucks by the cast) . My response there are probably a ton of action movie fans who are Jizzing all over themselves over this one. My client's response (entirely sarcastic) they probably spent a lot of time on plot and charachter development. I predict that once it comes out on DVD people will be watching it the same way they watch porno i.e. fast forward through all of the talking to get to the fight scenes. Not to sound homophobic this looks like one of the gayest sausagefests ever. Lots of big strong men with their hands all over each other (fighting or fucking you know it's the same) launching large phallic symbols at other big strong men. No women in the movie or the audience. Not homophobic. Just sayin'. Peace Out, Rev J
You know, I kind of had low expectations for this movie but when I saw it, I found it actually kind of refreshing. It's a pretty dumb movie, and yeah, it's probably more about male bonding than whatever it is that happens in the movie (I actually forget), but it is kind of cool to remember when stuff like this used to come out and it was a huge deal. I don't think it's a gay movie at all... it's more like a lament for the days when guys were allowed to be guys, and didn't have to be all sensitive and stuff in order to be considered 'in touch with their true selves' or whatever. These guys are real guys... they have hot girlfriends, enjoy driving motorcycles and nice cars, hang out in a tattoo shop, have friendly knife-throwing competitions, are generally pretty nice people when it comes down to it... and they like to kick ass. These guys are pretty big stars and you can tell they're having heaps of fun making this ridiculous movie... and I think that's sort of the point. So yeah, I gotta admit, even though any of these guys would probably laugh at me, kick sand in my face, steal my woman and if I tried to do anything about it squash me like a grape... but I kinda liked this movie. To the guy above that said 'aren't people tired of this crap?'... no offense, but these kinds of movies aren't really being made anymore-- the idea of a superhero nowadays is Tobey Maguire, Christian Bale or Robert Downey Jr... and apparently Adrien Brody is an action hero now. To be honest, I bet that if half of the guys in this movie watched Spiderman 1, they would have burst out laughing when Peter wakes up and looks at his muscles in the mirror. So no, I'm not tired of these kinds of movies. I'm more tired of comic book movies, but especially remakes.
Thanks for the review Shale. My partner wanted to see this movie, but I succesfully dodged the bullet on this one. I agee with you Reverand, the cast alone is enough for me to stay FAR FAR away!
But dude you can have both a plot and good charachters with tough guys. I saw Machete the weekend it came out. It was fucking great because it was a throwback to Charles Bronson movies just with more blood. Linsey Lohan naked definately added stars for me. I saw a documentary called "Champion" about Danny Trejo. One of the things he pointed out is how unbelievable today's movie "tough guys" are. This was before Jake Gyllenhall decided to make action movies. Honestly with the exception of Mickey Rourke the other guys are fucking pussies. I honestly don't believe that any of the cast of this movie with the exception of Rourke has ever been in a fight that wasn't choreographed. Trejo on the other hand has gone from a 10 year stint in San Quentin for armed robbery and learning to box in the joint to being an action movie star. Yes I miss real action heroes but my point of reference isn't Stallone or Schwartzenager it's Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson. When action movies weren't all glossy and choreographed. When there was a plot that you didn't fast forward through to get to the fight scenes. I'm sick of CGI that looks dated one year later. I'm sick of perfect looking muscle men with plastic surgery. I grew up playing with action figures and with the exception of "GI Joe the rise of Cobra" I don't want to see action figures in movies. Peace Out, Rev J
Totally. One of the first fight scenes in Machete he never even throws a punch and wins the fight. the guys in this movie would never shoot a scene like that. He has the lines on his face that shows he walks his talk. Stallone keeps getting botox and dying his hair so that he can pretend that he is 20 still. Fuck Clint Eastwood is in his 70's and still is more badass than these schmucks. And he can actually act. These other guys trying to be macho is just pathetic. Fuck I miss Bronson. Peace Out, Rev J
I never met Bronson, but my friend Joseph did. He was an extra in Hard Times in '75 filmed in New Orleans. He just about stole the bayou scene with his non-speaking part. Bronson was actually showing his age in this movie, which was mentioned as he was a bare-knuckles fighter facing younger guys (and winning). I hear he caught a burglar in his house once and before the police came to take him away Bronson broke his arm. Oh, here are some other actors who were in Joseph's movie.
I wouldn't call Machete a real throwback, though... it's more like some cool kind of winking knowing retro homage to those kinds of films... I could see Stallone sitting down to write the script, saying 'fuck the critics, we're going to make a REAL action movie'... because he is a true 80s action star, and that's what this movie is... it's not some 90s filmmaker doing his 'take' on a genre he's generations removed from, it's a real action star setting out to make a movie just like he used to... and it shows.
OK then I say go back and watch "Dirty Harry" or "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," or if you want to get more recent "Death Wish" or the "Mechanic" where the action served the plot not vice versa. Peace Out, Rev J
I didn't like Machete really. The action was decent, and some of the humor was good, but Planet Terror was funny the whole time. Machete was too much like the B movies.
Or I can watch all of those movies and then also watch this one... I haven't seen The Mechanic though. I'm not saying it's a work of art or even a good film... but it's fun to watch for reasons I don't fully understand.
