I need the advice of the Hip community

SO here's my situation. I am in a happy relationship. Everything is pretty nice. Good sex, we get along great, and really relate to each other. My girlfriend is scared of attachment though, and that has been bothering me for a bit.

Now Part 2. I have a friend who I've always had strong feelings for. She's the sexiest and most amazing thing on the planet to me. We're going to this genius party this weekend and she'll be rolling for her first time there.

I hope you understand my massive dilemma here. Not sure at all what to do. Cheating is out of the question for sure. But any advice/opinions? I would appreciate it greatly.

 

If cheating is out of the question, then what's the dilemma? You either:

a. Break up with your girlfriend and hook up with your sexy friend

b. Stay with your girlfriend and don't hook up with your sexy friend

Take your pick.

 

is your girlfriend going to the party?

just based on this post, it sounds like you'd rather be with your friend. i'm sure that's out of the question just because if you had any chance with her she wouldn't have befriended you, but it's still not really fair to your girlfriend if she's just a second choice.

is the party sponsored by mensa or something, or do you just think it's a really good idea to provide E to partygoers?

 

btw, before you say "but you don't understand..." let me just say that I do - maybe not 100%, but enough to understand that you're basically torn between the girl you have and the girl you might have. And really, the solution is still the same: choose one over the other and stick to your decision. As for which one you should choose, well, I don't know if any of us can help you there.

 

Do you even know if your friend reciprocates your feelings? Also, since you asked, I feel like I can throw in my 2 cents here and hope you understand I am not trying to be harsh, just being honest. If you have feelings that strongly for someone else, it *MIGHT* be a sign that even though you're happy with your current girlfriend, it's more out of convenience than head over heels love. If that's the case, then by staying in that relationship, with or without having a "fall back" girl, you're not doing either one of you a favor. You're missing out on someone that will leave you speechless every day and she's not able to find someone to give her the same because you're both in a relationship with each other.

I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and my eye started wandering. When I evaluated why, I realized that even though I liked having my guy, I wasn't truly happy in the relationship - I was just used to the habit of having someone. I debated the decision for a few months and eventually ended it because I understood that by staying in the relationship, neither one of us could find the person that we deserved, that we were supposed to be with. It wasn't fair to anyone in that situation and the longer I stayed in it, the harder it would be to end it.

Good luck with your decision. A hard situation, to be sure. Don't let the drugs become an excuse for anything either, especially where E is involved. Ohhhh Ecstasy...

 

To be honest, I don't know if I would call it cheating if you did hook up with your friend. Are you sexually exclusive or not? Not wanting commitment implies giving your partner the freedom to be with someone else.

And, why would you want a girlfriend who's second best in the sexy department? Myself, I won't rest until I get the perfect girl...one who looks like Patti Smith in her heyday. :biggrin:

 

Why would you want to give that up just for a good fuck?

When you say, "She's the sexiest and most amazing thing on the planet to me," do you mean that she's very attractive, or is she a really great person? If you mean she's so great because she's very attractive, you might be disappointed if you leave your current lass to hook up with this one. You could be in for a one dimensional relationship.

Another poster pretty well said it;

Leave your woman to fuck this one at a party where she'll be high.

Don't leave your woman and continue to drool over this one.


There will always be very attractive women in life, there will always be one "prettier" than the one you're with. You could go through life going from one to the next, which is fine and some people enjoy doing that. Or you could understand that there's always going to be pretty women out there, and just be content with that.

 

" I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and my eye started wandering. When I evaluated why, I realized that even though I liked having my guy, I wasn't truly happy in the relationship - I was just used to the habit of having someone. I debated the decision for a few months and eventually ended it because I understood that by staying in the relationship, neither one of us could find the person that we deserved, that we were supposed to be with. It wasn't fair to anyone in that situation and the longer I stayed in it, the harder it would be to end it. "

^This is awesome. Rare to actually see people that are mature enough to make good decisions like this instead of cheating/fucking someone over, etc.. props...


Also - I am betting the friend of OP's is way hotter than his girl.

 

so, you're hoping to take advantage of your friend while she's on e? wow, you're a giant douche. not to mention the fact you have a girlfriend!

 

Thank you Yazzz.

 

if you and your girlfriend get along well enough ask her if you can have this opportunity.

 

Alright well I have reviewed all of your opinions. I feel as if everyone had something positive to contribute, apart from vigilanteherbalist2 saying I am a "giant douche". Thanks for providing the much needed advice i asked for vh2!

I personally am completely open to allowing my girlfriend to be with other people. She doesn't want to though. Although to clarify, my girlfriend is a fox. There's just something about my friend that I have just always been attracted to.

Lately I have been feeling increasingly infatuated with my girlfriend and less genuine with her. I think I might take a break with her honestly to re-assess everything. Then if something does happen with my friend I won't feel guilty, and if it doesn't I will still have a fun time and will have done what's best for my girlfriend and myself. Thanks everyone!

 

And now for another lesson in Reading Between the Lines.

*I'm open to my girlfriend being with other guys if it justifies me being able to fuck my hot friend.*

*I'm going to break up with her, fuck my friend, then when that bombs I'll take back my girlfriend.*

*If my friend turns me down and doesn't feel for me the way I feel for her, then I'll run back to my girlfriend.*




Reading Between the Lines has been brought to you by a cynical asshole.

 

:2thumbsup:

 

take your friend to the pictures, make a hole in the bottom of the popcorn box- it's just a waiting game after that.

 

I really don't understand what there is to be guilty about:

a) You wanted an exclusive relationship with your girlfriend, she decided she didn't want one;

b)You're completely open to allowing your girlfriend being with others, as she wishes.

Why should you feel guilty about being with someone else?

 

No she wants exclusivity, she's just scared of relationships.

Anyway I talked to the gf and we're taking a break. Hope the rave goes well. Love you guys!

 

this dude still wants to take advantage of a so-called friend while she uses ecstacy *face palm*

 

Isn't his friend free to decided whether she wants to take ecstasy or who she has sex with? Why do you assume he would be taking advantage of her?

 

I don't see the difference other than semantics.