For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas. Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the 1st grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh_t! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 25.60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid
A tube of mascara can paint a small bathroom sink. If your missing your fancy shoes, go check the kids play/dress-up box.
lol... I thought it was cute... my mom forwarded it to me... I don't have kids yet but now I'm a little worried...
haha... that's so funny! I love the last part... It cracked me up... kids say some funny shit. And I bet more than 25% of the guys try the brake fluid thing....
That was pretty funny, my 8 year old sister has done so many crazy things and this made me think of her.
LMAO can't remember my brother and I doing stuff like that. Must have such a dull childhood. Still hasn't put me off kids, nice try though
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. I am going to try this... 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. What a great idea for my future house!! 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. Haha, I've done this before 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. I found this out years ago 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. Hmm... this is on my 'to-do' list now... 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. Haha, I figured this out years ago too... 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the 1st grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh_t! A talking pig!'" Hahahahaha!! I'd be so proud of my son if he said that 25.60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid And you can bet your ass that I will be one of them... I've got all the ingrediants in this house What I don't understand is why fun like this is ends when people "grow up". You're never too old to have fun.
You know whats funny? How many people here actually want to try many of these things. This list includes me. I want to do the brake fluid/clorox thing and the dust bunny ignite thing and the playdough/microwave thing. Although, i may not do the playdough one because I already have destroyed a microwave we had (Let's just say that microwaves do not like frozen juice boxes. I shortcircuited it and it practically caught fire. Do not do this.)...
haha this reminds me of last winter break... getting wasted and throwing scissors into a ceiling fan to see who they shoot at (crowded room, evweryone playing)
