I'm a heroin addict.

I'm already an existing member of this forum (it might be against the rules, im sorry but I have reason, please hear me out.) Some people on here actually know me in real life and so far I am to ashamed of myself to come out and admit it.. (I think there should be an "anonymous" poster option when it comes to posts..) anyway I know they wouldn't, there my friends but I still am not ready to come out and say it to them. If any of you care to talk to me after this pm me and ill talk to you on my other account. I just need someone to get this off my chest too.

For the passed two years I have been doing heroin, at first off and on, within the past month I have been shooting multiple times a day, its been getting horrible. I hate myself for it. I always thought that I had the strength to put it down, but then again I could always put it down and I never had withdrawal like symptoms. Now it seems though I just cant come to stop. I have a child that is do by the end of this month and it scares me the possibilities that could happen because of my habit. This is actually what scared me the absolute most. The second thing is, i can not get myself to stop, before I think I get to the point of withdrawal I just go and do another shot because I am scared of the pain I would go through. I am to emotionally week to put up with it. I want to be there for my sons life and I do not want to struggle with a constant battle between my life and heroin. I'm under my parents insurance, I cant just go to the dr and get a prescription for syboxin my mom would know whats up and shes a nurse to boot. Do I just go cold turkey? Is there anything that can help? I really do not know what to do. I have told my main dealer to not answer my calls for a while, but that still doesn't help. I hate to say that some people arent my friends because I firmly believe they are, but they come around and I know there high, i know i can score if i ask them, and its tough to say know.. Have or is currently anyone going through a situation like this that I could talk to? Thank you for your time or concern.

 

Try and ease off it. If you're having a kid, you can't risk not being around for him. That'd be incredibly selfish. If you can't quit, you're going to have to get symboxin. Even if your mom finds out, it'll be better than risking something happening to you with a boy on the way. She's your mom; she's going to love you no matter what. She'll understand, and she'll be glad that you took it on yourself to get cleaned up.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. You need to be proud of yourself for trying to get off it. Keep telling yourself that you can do it, because you can.

Stick with it. If you have lapses, don't be ashamed. Be sorry that it happened, but know that being ashamed fixes nothing, and work harder to make sure it doesn't happen again.

You. Can. Do. It.

 

you gotta come clean with everyone dude. Seriously come clean to your parents, id even consider moving in with them. I dunno if theyre good people but i am sure your parents love you and want to be there for you. its gonna be tough, but if you want to get clean go home and make your parents put you on lockdown/go to rehab


its for your son! no sacrifice is too big.

sorry if i sound like im on a high horse, just trying to help

peace and love brother, get your head straight!

 

oh and you gotta cut yourself off from those friends. Thats gonna suck, the rode to recovery is going to be lonely and tough but just keep thinking of your son. ive got some friends that made it, you can too!

 

I understand the situation your in,but if I understand you correctly it's only been a month or so that you have been using every day.You are probly not in as deep as you think.Try to find a N/A meeting,nobody has to know that you went,someone there WILL help you.Remember you have a kid on the way,be strong for them and do whatever it takes to stop using YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!.I wish you well,and remember you are not the only one that's been threw this.Someone posted above that you should cut ties with the people you are using with,that is good advice.

 

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I registered here today only to write about my problems with cannabis, alcohol and other stuff. It has appeared to me lately that I'm wasting my life on being drunk or high on anything else. It's not that I have physical symptoms if I don't do it for a day or something. I just wait for getting home and smoke or whatever drug I might have at home. I have been high or drunk every single day for 2 months. I'm having my sober day today and I will try to not drink or anything for at least 2 weeks. If I don't change things drastically now I will become a homeless tramp in a couple of months.

I grew up with working class parents. I lived with my mom until I was 10 years old. Then I had to move to my dad and live there until I was 14. At that point I had awful grades from school and I had to live with my grandparents until I was 16 when I started living on my own and picked up my studies. I also started to work and managed to save enough money to finance studying at a university for one semester. Next semester will be sponsored by a scholarship if I pass a few exams in November. Sadly, I think I will fail on those exams. Then all my dreams will be spoiled and I have nothing to go back to. Chances are still that I can pass those exams if I start working for them already today.

I am really determined now to pass the exams and I will work really hard for them. I don't know why I posted this but I just had to get it out of my mind. I'm sick of having those thoughts for myself and I don't know weather or not I should tell some friends about my problems. A few have asked me why I am always drunk, stoned, high or whatsoever everyday. Normally, I just joke about it and shrug it off. Now, I'm afraid it's not a joke any longer. But I will face it, I will be sober and everything. I will succeed, no matter what! I speak 5 languages so I could do something with my life. I'm aspiring to become a journalist with my studies and I will definitely work for my dream. I hope I will be writing about a big issue someday.

Anyway, I just had to ramble about my issues. I'm dead tired from everything and my body is aching. But right now, I will pick up my books and study. Just to get my mind of everything and do something good. I hope everything turned out well for the creator of the thread.

 

If you're in the US look up suboxone clinics. There are doctors that will accept walk-ins and prescribe you suboxone as long as you seem like you need it it. It's a better option than methadone.

 

Sadly, I'm Swedish and those things are very hard to get here. Secondly, I'm not doing heroine since it's way to addictive. But as you say, suboxone is better for those who need that. I just need to get some of my life. In fact, there's nothing I actually need to do but changing my life.

 

Come clean to the one's you know you can really trust, not your heroin friends..
Sure they may be disappointed in you but it will be so much easier they find out this way then an arrest 6 months down the line when your kid is born..

 

Look up Drugs in the phone book and you should be able to find a Narcotics Anonymous info number..or google it. All the help you need will be available there.

Good luck..

 

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