How do I find a fulfilling purpose for my life?

I dont know what to do with myself or what I should do to be happy. I always feel like Im wasting all my time distracting myself from the fact that im getting nothing important accomplished(I came to this realization on a mushroom trip actually). I work, I relax, I sleep, and I try to fit in a few things that "seem" meaningful but never really turn out to be.

I graduated from an art school in painting because I always believed you should "do what you love"... but I realize now that I dont want my life to ONLY be about art... I want to do "everything" and travel "everywhere"... but I dont know how.

I really want to move, I live and grew up in the midwest.. things just keep getting worse here, people just seem empty and fake and angry about the problems in their life that they are responsible for creating... if everyone would just chill out and stop blaming each other things would be fine(or at least a whole lot better), but I feel like Im pretty much alone here.

I feel like a lot of my problems are from being naturally hypersensitive/empathic and growing up forever surrounded by close-minded conservative types.. I feel like Im in a prison where im not allowed to be myself. Or maybe more that I never really learned how to filter the bad vibes out.. they just end up becoming part of me and its not till later I realize I was thrown off my own track.

what should I do? where should I go?

A good friend of mine who shares pretty much all of my beliefs on this subject is possibly moving to boulder colorado soon to finish her art degree(we met in school) in art therapy at some buddhist school they have there... she says I should go with her... Ive never been there. anyone think thats a bad idea?
Im confused about the whole "going with the flow" deal... I thought I was so good at that till art school, and it feels like it "flowed" me straight into a brick wall and ive been dead in the water for the last 7 years.
I feel like I cant trust my instincts at all because they seem to tell me to do everything all at once... as anything would be better than sitting around like this forever.

 

All I can say is that I agree with your instincts. We all sit far too often

 

When I first read this, pardon me for saying, but I laughed. Nothing wrong with what you said, instead memories.

You see, it's your life now. What do you want to do with it? Your choice now. I understand that sometimes there are external influences that make a few decisions for you (I have a few of my own), but what can you work towards? You have a college degree, right? That alone is a plus. Your friend is moving to Boulder, ok, move there as well. CU/Boulder in a fine school, with many attributes. You can either move there and go to school, furthering in art, or something else (like maybe physics?) or you can move there and live. Used to be a decent hippy community there last I knew.

I suggest you go back to school. But that's my opinion.

 

InfiniteQuakerOat,

just do one step in a time while jumping in it with all your legs, and expect surprises. And don't blame the brick wall.

The happiness will come all by itself.

 

Just explore man

 

smoke some deemsters and you'll be groovy

 

You could do a lot worse than this. Buddhism is all about learning to be happy (or content, rather - not quite the same thing).

 

If you figure it out lett me know.

 

life is all about taking chances

 

Cut loose the egoistic need for others to be the source of your happiness. True happiness eminates from within. Once you find that peace and happiness that exists within you just past your ego then you will attract others with the same qualities.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Go to Boulder! If it doesn't work out what have you lost? Only the time that you spend there. Any experience is better than none. You don't want to be floundering for the next 7 years man! Good luck!!!!!!

 

find God & ur life will have meaning

 

you wont find it; it finds you

 

Logan 5- are you saying school is my sanctuary? i thought there was no sanctuary? haha.. just kidding.. great name though. i love that movie! but yes, that is a good idea, i just dont know how to pay for it since im still pretty far in student loan debt from art school... and the external influences you mentioned would mostly be my entire family that is currently helping me pay for it, but we're not rich so it will take a long time. from their perspective i have a decent enough job thats paying the bills and i should just try to make the art thing work and stay where i am... whenever i mention that i want to move they bring up how much farther away ill be and how hard it will be to visit on the holidays(which is actually very important to me as well)... but i really do need to learn to live my own life and take risks... i just dont like that i feel like im somehow putting them at risk too.

moving cloud- I wish that came easier to me, i carry around this shell everywhere i go(im 100% crab cancer).. i think the main reason i want to move is to run away from this shell of myself that doesnt seem to fit me anymore but everyone i know seems to be attached to.

phlyfinch- if id ever had the chance... ive done pretty much everything else.. my mind has been expanded in what would seem like every direction possible... theres just not much real support holding the now cavernously open mind up... im afraid its actually so open my brain fell out several years ago.

rev jc- vanity can be a difficult monster to defeat... it has so many heads.

etherea- true, thanks!

lolli- I found the infinite god within, but this god is a puzzle and a riddle to me. Ive never found the god(s) others talk about, the ones who gives clear directions and answers to questions, doubts, and prayers. Mine seems to be asking ME all the questions. When i manage to follow along and pay attention im led to moments of inspiration, understanding, and "near" nirvana.. but never any instructions on how to live a day to day life in the modern world... unless you think living in a cave next to a waterfall and a mountain and never speaking to anyone again are practical ideas...

 

Wow, reading that OP was as if I had written it myself.

 

im the voice of a generation.

maybe i should write a book... haha... books... who reads them?

 

On second thought it doesn't remind me of myself at all.

 

Maybe it is, but since I do not recall you asking for sactuary, it's a moot point.

Art.....why not go to school and get certification to be a teacher? That way you can teach people art, and the state will help you pay off your student loans. Some states will do more than other states, and last I knew Alaska has the best over all benefits for teachers.

Hmmm.

Even if you stand a fair chance of making more money elsewhere....?

Hmmm.

BINGO!

I don't see how you are.

Pardon my brashness, but I think it's about time you cut the umbilical cord and explore this world. Until you do, you have no life.

 

Those giving your advice mainly do so to make themselves sound smarter, not really about helping you. They have no real clue what to do with their lives either

All those years spent painting the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo spent half the time fantasizing what it would be like to be a musician or a Gladiator ( or a Ninja Turtle )

We all want what we dont have or cant have, one of the most annoying things about being human

 

I wonder what would happen if the world had the guts to eat mushrooms.